Lesbian dating a straight man.

Both of you are robbing yourselve's of the love and compatibility that you desire with the gender of your choice. You being a lesbian and he being straight is a recipe for disaster down the line. You must talk to him and tell him how you feel. It's not fair to either one of you, and it will never be. Eventually, you will look for something else somewhere, and it won't be a man. You are going to break his heart either way, so i suggest you just do it now. As he fall's deeper and deeper in love with you, you are setting him up for a hugh melt down if you don't do something about it as soon as possible. If you love him as much as you say you do, let him down easy.

I will not pin the blame on anyone here but, you being a lesbian should have known not to get involved with a man and expect not to have sex with him. He doesn't notice because you are acting like your straight and loving and sexually attracted to him, you are leading him on and he is headed for a heart ache for sure. Don't marry this man and don't give him children. There really is no grey area here, you have to go one way or the other, and because you are a confirmed lesbian, there is only one way to go, you know what that is. You either do a complete turn around and talk yourself into being straight, and i think that wouldn't work, or you tell him goodbye. Or, if he is willing to continue this charade, knowing full well what's involved, then do that. But you asked...what do i do? My opinion, tell him and move on to someone who truly make's you happy, and let him do the same.

Why not have an open relationship? polyamorous relationship/ allow yourself to love multiple people. allow him to either love just you or you and another? I'm not saying you should have 3 ways.. you can date gay girls.. he can date straight girls while having a life for you.. do you think one person can honestly fulfill you for the rest of your life? He might be happy just loving you and allowing you to have a girlfriend. you never know.. 

A bit late to answer, but maybe your are simply bisexual. I know bisexual are not considered well in society, and I think it's maybe because they can't fit in an hetero normative society stereotypes.... You surely know how gay couple are stereotyped by society: one plays the woman and the the other the man. Bisexuals are more difficult for a hetero-normative society to deal with. I honestly think that you are bisexual and maybe unconsciously afraid of having a relation with that man. Go for it girl, it looks you & him are just perfect for each other.

I'm a man and my gay girlfriend recently left me.  She had come out to me a few weeks before and I thought we were going to break up then.  She said that wasn't what she wanted, so we stayed together.  We had always known we wouldn't last, maybe she did more than I, and since we made each other happy we didn't feel the need to split up yet.  Well she got sick, I got busy, then she got busy, and things slowly deteriorated.  I thought once finals were through we would work on it, but she figured it was time to accept her sexuality. 

I'm proud of her and I'm happy that she is ready to take this step in her life, but I feel abandoned.  She barely communicated with me during the last two weeks of our relationship, and now she has stopped talking to me all together.  I just thought that after all we had been through she wouldn't have to prove to herself that she could "survive" without me.  When her sex drive disappeared months ago she was afraid I would leave her but we worked through it.  I wasn't ready to survive without her and our relationship seemed to go much deeper than the "couple thing" she no longer desires with men.   

I don't want to get back with her.  My self esteem and self efficacy have gone up since I stopped dating a lesbian.  I was just wondering if any lesbians out there have been in her shoes, and, if you could, please explain to me why she needs time to herself?  I miss her.

it is very hard for a lesbian to date straight men like us, and can this really be possible?:-)

Yes it is possible. Please don't mock it.  She was very special to me and continues to inspire me.  We can't chose who we love, or used to love.  I don't care how difficult it was you don't just ditch someone that did nothing wrong.  I know this is a normal part of breakups but I never considered us normal.  LOLs

Look man.  I just want know why the person that smiled every time I looked at her won't talk to me.  It hurts.  I'm not crazy. I'm confused.  Yes I see the irony.

I am a man. I am about 60 years old. My lesbian friend is about my age. We have known eaach other for seventeen years off and on. We started seeing each other more often three years ago. We have been more or less dating for the past year. All was good until she started giving me long, full body hugs a few months ago. I thought it meant that she was open to being in a closer relationship to me. So I started treating her about the same way I would treat a hetro girlfriend. She did not like that. She accused me of wanting to be more than friends. Also that it made her uncomfortable. Also that she is who she is and does not want to change. I said that I respect who she is and that I do not expect her to change. Since then, we have taken breaks from each other, but then seeing each other again, till she was uncomfortable again, rinse and repeat. The full-body hugs continue.

Similar to a previous post, I have also thought about a future with her in a poly-amourous relationship. We are very good friends, and could have a primary relationship. I would be comfortable about her having sex with women. I could find a female FWB on the side.

I think my friend might be coming to a realization that she might be bi-sexual. She seems to be having a hard time dealing with this.

Ignore the accidental double post