hi everybody, my name is jason, and i feel lost.
I am 20 years old and im a virgin, I remember the first time i fell in love, i was 8 years old and it was a girl called alicia clarke. i never talked to her as i was too scared. At the end of year 3, we moved to tallebudgera, where i went to the local primary school, and saw another girl emily hall, and felt for her from grades 4 - 7, i'd ask her out, and ask her to dance and the school discos, i'd even give her my lunch money if she had no food. I saw her a couple of years ago at the 7-11 service staion in plam beach, and her face lit up and a huge wave came my way, the i never saw her again (meh) i ended up quiting my job as a metal worker and done some odd jobs around the place, computer repair, landscaping ( would still be doing it if the prick would have paid me, i loved landscaping) so i screwed that off, the finally got a new job at woolworths, emily came through my checkout on my second shift, but nothing was said, it was like we were both invisible (trust me, i know why this happened) anyway, i ended up noticing this girl that worked at my work call amanda, now everytime i looked at this girl, strange things would happen in my atmosphere, and when i would go through here checkout, we could only gaze and smile. when working next to her i would be scared to annoy her to ask a question if i was stuck (learning the cash registers) i'd be like "excuse me" everyone else i'd just be like, oi what have i done! Well i let ito to long, because i have a few problems of my own that i wanted to resolve before going through with anything ( i am an addicted weed smoker) i didn't want her to see things she didn't need to see. Anyway, one morning i was driving my dad to work, as he crashed his car, it was 7:53am when a car came tearing down the road and tailgating me, can't see her face because of the sunglasses but she smiled ( hmm familiar) i get to the roundabout and stick my arm out the window (go son i say drive like the wind). as i drive through the roundabout, i notice it is her car, i se her in the review, no sunnies and not looking happy. i get to work the next day and i get a glare, and turn and walk the other way, and now whenever i see her i feel as if i lost her, as if i should let her go, as if i should wait, or as if i should be persistant, i cant even say hi to her with out being more nervous than i originally was before the incedent.
im always seeing thing no other person would see, as soon as this happened and i was too scared to even smile at her, another girl at work (Kaycee) starts smiling at me, then i think "maybe this girl is here to distract me from the one i am truly meant to be with, then she dissapeers, parents made her quit because of me, but i am still stuck wanting to talk to amanda.
am i insane or just too deep, i have thought that girls have always like me but they never do when i put myslef out on a limb, are girls too scared of me or do i just think too much.
I am 20 years old and im a virgin, I remember the first time i fell in love, i was 8 years old and it was a girl called alicia clarke. i never talked to her as i was too scared. At the end of year 3, we moved to tallebudgera, where i went to the local primary school, and saw another girl emily hall, and felt for her from grades 4 - 7, i'd ask her out, and ask her to dance and the school discos, i'd even give her my lunch money if she had no food. I saw her a couple of years ago at the 7-11 service staion in plam beach, and her face lit up and a huge wave came my way, the i never saw her again (meh) i ended up quiting my job as a metal worker and done some odd jobs around the place, computer repair, landscaping ( would still be doing it if the prick would have paid me, i loved landscaping) so i screwed that off, the finally got a new job at woolworths, emily came through my checkout on my second shift, but nothing was said, it was like we were both invisible (trust me, i know why this happened) anyway, i ended up noticing this girl that worked at my work call amanda, now everytime i looked at this girl, strange things would happen in my atmosphere, and when i would go through here checkout, we could only gaze and smile. when working next to her i would be scared to annoy her to ask a question if i was stuck (learning the cash registers) i'd be like "excuse me" everyone else i'd just be like, oi what have i done! Well i let ito to long, because i have a few problems of my own that i wanted to resolve before going through with anything ( i am an addicted weed smoker) i didn't want her to see things she didn't need to see. Anyway, one morning i was driving my dad to work, as he crashed his car, it was 7:53am when a car came tearing down the road and tailgating me, can't see her face because of the sunglasses but she smiled ( hmm familiar) i get to the roundabout and stick my arm out the window (go son i say drive like the wind). as i drive through the roundabout, i notice it is her car, i se her in the review, no sunnies and not looking happy. i get to work the next day and i get a glare, and turn and walk the other way, and now whenever i see her i feel as if i lost her, as if i should let her go, as if i should wait, or as if i should be persistant, i cant even say hi to her with out being more nervous than i originally was before the incedent.
im always seeing thing no other person would see, as soon as this happened and i was too scared to even smile at her, another girl at work (Kaycee) starts smiling at me, then i think "maybe this girl is here to distract me from the one i am truly meant to be with, then she dissapeers, parents made her quit because of me, but i am still stuck wanting to talk to amanda.
am i insane or just too deep, i have thought that girls have always like me but they never do when i put myslef out on a limb, are girls too scared of me or do i just think too much.
oh b.t.w. dont let my sexual experience misguide any advice given from me, and dont think that my problem is because of sexual experience, it is completely the other way around