you wrote this 4 years ago, but i hope that you followed through. my father was od'd by morphine in the a hospital in 2001 and my mother was given morphine and died within 48 hours in a hospice after we were told she had several weeks left.
I feel as sick as you did two years ago. I was told by hospice that the morphine would "help her breath". Twelve hours after her 2nd administration of the drug, she was dead. She was 98 and I know she was in the early stages of congestive heart failure. She probably would have passed very soon, but I was afraid she would fall and break a hip, afraid for myself (I'm 100% disabled) that I could not care for her anymore if she was completely bedridden) and afraid that she would die, gasping for air and in pain. So I let myself be drawn into the hospice philosophy of the "peaceful journey", but deep down inside, I know Mom was not ready to go, and would not have wanted a drug to take her, only God. I know she was tired. She told me constantly that she prayed every night for "my good Lord to take me" but she could still sit up, feed herself, talk, and enjoy company. She could not walk, read or watch TV anymore (her eyes were so bad) or dress herself or transfer herself from the wheelchair to the toilet. But she wasn't in pain, wasn't having trouble breathing, and wasn't incoherent. After the first Ativan and .25 mg, of morphine, she was so sedated, she could not get in bed. The hospice nurse had to pull her into the bed from behind. Two hours later, she became very agitated and I called hospice. They told me to give her another dose of morphine to "calm" her, that it was my job to keep her calm before she hurt herself. So I did. Her breathing became easy and she was still. Four hours later, she got that "death rattle" that I had read about in the hospice literature. I agonized, sobbed, held her, tried to soothe her, and begged God to take please take her. An hour later, she was gone. But now I know it wasn't God, it was morphine. I am 61 years old and the remainder of my life will be filled with guilt, sorrow, anger, and fear that I will go to Hell.
Dear Lorettaray,
LET ME PREFACE TO ALL READERS READING THIS POSTING ----------- THERE ARE OCCASIONS HOSPICE & MORPHINE CAN BE BENEFICIAL ..... WHEN A PATIENT IS IN SEVERE PAIN.
I want to thank you for posting this and sharing your experience. I know that it is very painful. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear Mom. She sounds like she was really blessed with good health. That must bring you some comfort. And to live to be 98 is amazing! And please know and be at peace that YOU are NOT the guilty one here. Hospice has many of us fooled into believing they are all about "comfort care". It is how they market their service, makes it sound so compassionate. (Perhaps some of you realize that Hospice has their roots into organizations like "Choice In Dying", etc.) Just check out their own words on the NHPCO website. They are also connected to the Euthanasia Society of America!!
Personally I can relate to your some of the things you write about. My dear Dad died early on Thanksgiving Day 2012. He had COPD/Emphysema for many years and my Mom took care of him at home for that time and he had been bedridden his last couple of months. Even though he was in bed he could eat well, talk, and he had a good memory (even better than ours sometimes). My Dad's doctor ordered Hospice in October. We were hesitant to sign on as I had a bad experience with a friend on Hospice some years ago. Hospice gave my Dad the title of having a terminal-ill prognosis (failure to thrive, whatever that is). When Hospice arrived to my parents home they came with a box of meds. My Mom told them up front he was NEVER to have "any of that stuff, especially the MORPHINE" (as my Dad NEVER had ANY pain whatsoever thankfully.)
Well, the 3X a week in-home care-givers were AWESOME for sure, a wonderful relief to my Mom. She was told that Hospice had a respite program where you could put your loved one in a facility for 5 days, so my Mom put my Dad's name in for that as she wanted a little break around Thanksgiving time (but she would still be with him each day to check on him). It is a long story about how my Dad arrived there, etc. My Mom was reassured and reassured from the nurse that they would NOT GIVE HIM ANY MEDS OTHER THAN HIS NORMAL DAILY ONES!!!!!!! The short of it is that when my Mom dropped him off he was sitting in a chair, talking/laughing and eating a bowl of cereal. Within 36 hours he was gone.
I was with him during his last 12 hours and had NO idea they had been giving him 4 different medications, including morphine PRN. Through the hours we had kept asking why he was declining so quickly as we couldn't believe the dramatic change!! The response from the doctor and all the nurses/caregivers was "Once you brought him here to Hospice you gave him permission to die." Can you believe that?.....and they kept saying it in front of my Dad too (I'm quite sure he wouldn't have agreed with that. He was prepared to die in God's timing.) .............. We have met with the administration and head doctor and they have their programmed responses like "he was actively dying when he came here", "we were helping to keep him comfortable", etc. A bunch of B.S. We asked how the nurses could justify Morphine as he was never in pain. They tell us that the nurses "Observe" and "Suspect" someone is in pain if the person frowns, twitch their eyes, fidget, etc. What do you think?? Might that might include all of us when we are sleeping???!!!!! We have asked for and received his medication reports and there are some serious discrepancies about what we witnessed/time meds given, etc. They were NOT to give him the medications he received.
One of the big things we came across was that within a very short time of my Mom leaving the Hospice facility they put my Dad on "Nothing By Mouth". Bottom line is that his basic right of food and water were taken away without his knowledge or approval. We did not even know about it until we read the medical report. They just kept telling us he was dying (he was sedated). Actually we knew he was dying (we all are), but in our opinion and based on some of the facts we see....he was hastened to his death. This is not God's timing for a person. I call this INVOLUNTARY EUTHANASIA. Take comfort Lorettaray and others. We are not alone in this. Somehow, God willing, this will be exposed as we are all in danger if this continues.
What is someone in hospice medicates my Mother when I am not at home? Should I make sure to always be home?
I agree 100%. I believe when a POW family member isn't around they give them more then their "so called" regular dose. My mom has been in hospice for five days & I show up at all different times so they don't know when to expect me. Each day she has been acting alittle different. She is getting confussed more & forgetting things she would never forget. They must think people are stupid, but I completely understand their form of "COMFORT". They aren't fooling as many people as they think they are.....
Hi Sherri....
One thing you may want to do is check out the "Comfort Pak" that hospice brings when you sign on to their services (to be stored in the refrigerator). It is a pak with approx. 5-6 different comfort meds to be used at their descretion or yours.
This pak was delivered to my Dad's house and my Mom told them that she would NEVER use it for him (he had COPD/ emphysema but was NEVER in pain). When my Dad died we discovered....to our horror...that this pak had been opened and they had been using the meds on him.!!...evidently on occasions when my Mom was not in the house. She did not give them permission to use these drugs and there is no documentation that they did use these on my Dad. They seem to only document the things they choose to. Be aware.
After two doses of MS Contin (15mg) my elderly mother is like a zombie. Hospice said take her off of it, but it is the weekend and I am anxious. Is there something I can give her to counteract it? She hasn't had any food today. Just water and juice. She can't talk or keep her eyes open.
I know this post has been here for a while and I am uncertain if you are still following it, but please contact me. I have questions regarding the outcome of the case with your father.
My mother was in ICU on Tues evening and by Thurs. evening the doctor said he was amazed at her improvement. Then 7 hours later I get the call that she is not going to make it. That her 02 had dropped severly. She was gone within 10 minutes of that call. I just worry that they gave her so much morphine, that she wasn't breathing correclty. She was cremated, per her wishes. And now I will never know if they just decided to take her out of her misery. The nurses kept saying how sick she was. Alot of those nurses work with hospice, and they just seem to kill people. I worry that it wasn't her time, but they(the nurses) just saw an 84 year old woman with many ailments. She had come back many times before, and shocked the healthcare people as to how strong she was. She was starting to improve, according to 3 Doctors that talked to us 7 hours prior to my mom passing. So I'm wondering if the morphine could have caused her 02 to drop. They said they tried to ressusitate, which was her wish on file with the hospital, but I don't know how hard they tried because I wasn't there. I thought she would be ok if I went home to get some much needed rest. I tried to get answers when I got to the hospital after her passing, and I started getting irrate, and my sister told me to let it go, that she was gone. I will live with this feeling of guilt forever.
Because I too live with that guilt of giving to much morphine, I contacted a family member who is an RN and has worked in hospitals under these circumstances. She told me that "YES, there is a common practice in the medical field, unspoken, called Snowing" It is to "accidently" give a patient too much medication/mixed medication so they go into an altered state of consciousness. She actually witnessed doctors turning up the morphine to put a patient out of their misery. Assisted suicide or playing God, you might say. Sadly it probably happens more than we would care to know.
My Dad is 77. He went in to have surgery done as he had a tumor in his rectum. They done the surgery and afterwards they gave him morphine ativan and haldol or from what I have researched called the "ham sandwich" After 9 days they gave him a feeding tube. He was in progressive care at Alle Kiski Medical center in Natrona Heights Pa. We told them not to give him anymore medication and they stopped it. After he started to finally come out of sedation, I find out that a psychiatrist had started giving him Zyprexa and trazadone. Now I cant figure out why he come in for an operation on his rectum, but yey they are treating his brain. My Dad is now back in 1970 and just rambling on about things that makes no scense at all. We told them no more zyprexa or trazadone at all. In fact no more medication at all except his blood pressure medication. He is now awake fully, but I think the damage is done. I think there may be brain damage. They actually 302d my dad to the psych ward and when we raised a huge stink there was going to be an investigation at the hospital and a hearing with a judge and social worker along with the psychiatrist. They moved him out of the psych ward and put him in whats called life care where they will work to get him standing and walking. Since they moved him the hearing now was cancelled. Hmmmmmm. I wonder why and I wonder who wanted him moved out of the psych ward. Something stinks to high heaven and I will get to the bottom of this. If I dont get results from this then I WILL take matters into my own hands and hold EVERY ONE WHO WAS INVOLVED with trying to MURDER my Dad accountable and I WILL BE THE JUDGE AND JURY and hand out my own sentence to these MURDERING bastards. NOONE SCREWS WITH MY FAMILY! NOONE! ive been reading these cases and forums about these elderly patients recieving Haldol Ativan and Morphine for 3 days now and it is sickening. This WILL STOP and or else!
Profit, profit & profit: Medical care of the aged regardless of the patient outcome. To many (non-profit" medical centers are only in it for the money in the US. We, the USA, spend more money on medications, doctors and hospitals than any where else in the world..In 2010 the USA ranked 29th in the world's longevity of table (How long each of us will live). This year it's theorized the US ranking is dropping to the mid to high thirties! Meanwhile the US medical profits are skyrocketing. I'm ashamed that money and taxes are the most important things. Isn't that why we "free men" left England and the King's rules!!"