When she gets hurt it won't be pretty regardless of who it is with. That is the sad truth, but that is life. The trick is in a situation like this is quite simple, but probably undesirable. I can understand that from the parent's perspective this is an ugly situation, however it doesn't have to be. Not all early 20's males are looking for nothing but sex. There is a chance he genuinely likes the girl. Too many people have the misconception that if a breakup happens the guy just wanted sex. This isn't true. Most relationships are going to end up in a breakup. This just means things didn't work out. It happens. The best solution is to meet the guy, and get a judge for his character. The parent has every right to be concerned, however getting involved is a big mistake. Just make sure you get an idea of the guy and make sure he isn't a bad seed. You can't shield your children from everything, but you can be there when things go wrong. In a situation where there is an older boyfriend like in this scenario, the best way to deal with it is to try and see what the daughter sees and try and be welcoming. The parent doesn't have to like the guy, but the parent should accept him. After all, there must be a reason why she is going out with him in the first place right?
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Don't worry about runniong away, suicide, etc..those problems are MORE LIKELY to develop if you DON'T do something.
If your daughter was on drugs, would you "not interfere" because of fear she might "run away"? HELL NO! The Right Thing to do would be to get her off of them and get her away from them...this is your role and Responsibility as a parent. She might resent you...SO WHAT.
Be a parent...a good one...and don't let this (basiclly a child molestor) get anywhere near her... do this IMMEDIATELY and AT ONCE!
If your daughter was on drugs, would you "not interfere" because of fear she might "run away"? HELL NO! The Right Thing to do would be to get her off of them and get her away from them...this is your role and Responsibility as a parent. She might resent you...SO WHAT.
Be a parent...a good one...and don't let this (basiclly a child molestor) get anywhere near her... do this IMMEDIATELY and AT ONCE!
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well id report him, and if the police do nothing.. i would beat the c**p out of him, for even thinkin about my daughter..
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REPORT HIM! thats illegal and its just down right nasty. and don't worry about what your daughter does it's for her own safety even if she dosn't realize it at the time
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are you guys aerious..?!
okay so its illegal but would you rather keep a GOOD, BIG eye and size him up first or report him and have your daughter do something crazy that will make you REGRET what you did. and if you seperate them for good then she might just go sneaking. im going to be 15 in 2 weeks so i have the mind placement of your daughter. now i havent did this but i know what i'd do. hey maybe he isnt just out for the sex..you know ppl these days judge over rediculous things. try putting yourself in her position... how would you feel toward your mom if she done that it to..?!
think about what your doing.
either its your daughter hating you or you taking a shot at your daughters feelings. parents think because we are young we dont have all these wacky emotions like LOVE or CURIOUSITY ABOUT SEX..well your wrong and im sure that your daughter will make the right decision. hey you know he isnt forcing her to be with him so apparently he has some time of respect. just meet him, but dont put pressure on him. try to see from your daughters eyes..i bet when you get to know him you'll be happy you took OUR opinion. so do whats right for your daughters part just this once.
-GOOD lUCk ;-)
okay so its illegal but would you rather keep a GOOD, BIG eye and size him up first or report him and have your daughter do something crazy that will make you REGRET what you did. and if you seperate them for good then she might just go sneaking. im going to be 15 in 2 weeks so i have the mind placement of your daughter. now i havent did this but i know what i'd do. hey maybe he isnt just out for the sex..you know ppl these days judge over rediculous things. try putting yourself in her position... how would you feel toward your mom if she done that it to..?!
think about what your doing.
either its your daughter hating you or you taking a shot at your daughters feelings. parents think because we are young we dont have all these wacky emotions like LOVE or CURIOUSITY ABOUT SEX..well your wrong and im sure that your daughter will make the right decision. hey you know he isnt forcing her to be with him so apparently he has some time of respect. just meet him, but dont put pressure on him. try to see from your daughters eyes..i bet when you get to know him you'll be happy you took OUR opinion. so do whats right for your daughters part just this once.
-GOOD lUCk ;-)
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You're Daughter is only 14 years old, and she's with someone 24. That's a 10 year difference, Which is WAY too much. At this point in her life, she's probably not mature enough mentally to realize the Risks,Dangers,etc. of being with someone much older than yourself, At her age. You are the Parent and with that comes responiblities, which in this case you HAVE to take CONTROL. Your Daughter dosen't have the mental skills as what you do, which is the reason why you need to haul back the horns. If she really wants to date someone, the perfect age range would be 14-16. 16 the OLDEST. She's YOUR Daughter and your HER mother. Eventually she'll thank you someday for stepping in a putting a STOP to this. I'm 14, and If I was doing this, I would want my mother to step in and take control, because it would show that she really does care about my well being. :-)
:-D
Good luck!
:-D
Good luck!
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i must say. i understand your concern. because i am 24, and i have feelings for a 14 year old girl. i hang out at her house, with her brothers, and mother. her dad hates me, but he screwed the whole family over anyway... so i'm not worried about him...
thing is, i really really do care for this girl. she is the only person in the world that i've met in my 24 years, that actually seems to have the same outlook as i have had most of my life.. and it's not coincidence. it's something else.
and to be 100% honest, i have NEVER put my hands on her. sure, we've kissed. but i know the law, and what's decent or not. not until she's of age, would i ever consider doing anything sexually. i have respect for her and her family, and i am moral.
thing is, i really really do care for this girl. she is the only person in the world that i've met in my 24 years, that actually seems to have the same outlook as i have had most of my life.. and it's not coincidence. it's something else.
and to be 100% honest, i have NEVER put my hands on her. sure, we've kissed. but i know the law, and what's decent or not. not until she's of age, would i ever consider doing anything sexually. i have respect for her and her family, and i am moral.
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Ok, im 17 and even i have a perfect solution for this. Report him but make sure your daughter is there to see him get arrested. So she can see an actual authority take over and then she will have to believe that the idea of being 10 years apart in a relationship is sick and against the law. When they drag him away she will think the police found out and they don't have t know that you did it. She will be mad. but she wont know who to be mad at. That's when you explain to her and help her through it. Help her understand why its wrong.
Makes you look like the good guy and makes him look like the bad guy. I know i'm only 17. Hope this helps.
Makes you look like the good guy and makes him look like the bad guy. I know i'm only 17. Hope this helps.
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best to report him if she continues and has sex it might lead to vaginal problems,depression,regret, and more ,under aged sex is unlawful from those problems at 14 she must date anyone 2 years appart no more like 12 or 16 but no more otherwise they might want sex and your daughter might get into alot of problems you should stop this pedofile now.
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Hmm, I'm not sure if reporting this guy is the best thing to do.
Honestly, reporting him for this would likely lead to manth months of litigation and of course the ruining of this persons life.
Where on the other hand, if you intervene and let this guy know whats up, or if you determine he is a capable person and talk to your daughter, it would most likely end up with a breakup and your daughter getting over it, and that guy not sitting in jail for 15 years.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I would do in your situation, but I wouldn't call the cops immediately. You can solve this(problem?) without ruining his life, probably.
Honestly, reporting him for this would likely lead to manth months of litigation and of course the ruining of this persons life.
Where on the other hand, if you intervene and let this guy know whats up, or if you determine he is a capable person and talk to your daughter, it would most likely end up with a breakup and your daughter getting over it, and that guy not sitting in jail for 15 years.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I would do in your situation, but I wouldn't call the cops immediately. You can solve this(problem?) without ruining his life, probably.
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I am utterly appalled at any of you that actually think "standing aside and watching what happens" is anywhere near a good idea! This man, using the term loosely, is using that girl for sex and nothing else. We do not live in a society of men that want to have a respectable relationship with children. She wants to run away with him? Kill herself over him? Think about that. Why? Why would this young, impressionable lady desire to be with a guy so badly she would act uncharacteristically and to such extremes? Answer: He's brainwashing her! Use the word love on such a young lady and she's putty in his hands! Wise up. If she's hiding it from the parents, then perhaps communication between you two is not what it should be. I have a 14 year old daughter. She tells me about every boy she meets, and explains her feelings to me. What do I do? I listen! It does wonders for a child when she feels she can trust her parent! She is appalled at the fact that this girl is seeing such an older guy WITHOUT the sex! Wise up! Anyone that thinks you should do anything other than have the man arrested is either ignorant, or a pedophile themselves. Protect your child. You are NOT her friend, you are her PARENT!
And to address sonofanothing - Kissing a 14 year old like that IS AGAINST THE LAW! ANY type of interaction that is considered in a romantic nature is ILLEGAL! You should not be advising someone in regards to this when you are too immature and twisted to realize you're A PEDOPHILE! Get help and get away from that girl! You will only hurt her. You can never be good for a child.
And to address sonofanothing - Kissing a 14 year old like that IS AGAINST THE LAW! ANY type of interaction that is considered in a romantic nature is ILLEGAL! You should not be advising someone in regards to this when you are too immature and twisted to realize you're A PEDOPHILE! Get help and get away from that girl! You will only hurt her. You can never be good for a child.
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Report him it would be different if he was like 16 or 19 but 24 is 10 years thats too much
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You need to move along my friend.
You say she has the same outlook on life as you do...she is looking at life thru the eyes of a child.
Before this gets to far ahead of itself, you should really turn your attention to ladies your own age (Or closer to)
It doesn't matter if you both give consent, legally and morally it's all wrong.
I know the powers of love, but i'd say your infatuated with this little girl.
You already crossed the line by kissing her. Her brothers may be your "buds" for now, but if they catch wind of your infatuation with their sister, they may just do the brotherly thing and...well you fill in the blanks
You say she has the same outlook on life as you do...she is looking at life thru the eyes of a child.
Before this gets to far ahead of itself, you should really turn your attention to ladies your own age (Or closer to)
It doesn't matter if you both give consent, legally and morally it's all wrong.
I know the powers of love, but i'd say your infatuated with this little girl.
You already crossed the line by kissing her. Her brothers may be your "buds" for now, but if they catch wind of your infatuation with their sister, they may just do the brotherly thing and...well you fill in the blanks
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You need to talk to your daughter. Let her know that it really isn't normal for a 24 year old man to be attracted to a 14 year old girl. If she doesn't listen to you, then report him. It is the best thing you could do before things get taken too far. Your daughter won't turn against you, she might be angry, but she will get over it. Im sure she will thank you in the long run.
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