Ugh, I feel like I am at my wits end with this. My fiance who I have been with for 4 almost 5 years won't have sex with me. About a year ago we both were struggling with opiate addiction and then moved to Fl after I finished rehab. We are clean now and of course when we DO have sex it doesnt feel as amazing as it did when we were using, and I thought at first that was it, but now we have sex probably once every 3 months and I am CONSTANTLY finding porn on our computer. I don't believe he is cheating on me, I haven't gotten worse physically. But now its at a point that its really starting to hurt. I have tried to be compassionate and bring it up but there is always something wrong i.e his shoulder hurts, his hip, his teeth, his head. And when I try to Really talk about it he gets defensive. This has been going on for a year and now he has taken more hours at work and works about 8 - 9 some days. When we see each other he is trying to sleep or smoking weed and too high to move. I love him very much, and we have been through ALOT together, I really don't want to let him go but a girl has got to get it in. I am only 22, much too young to not have a sex life. I havent talked about this with him for a couple weeks but tonight when I got on the computer "most shocking deepthroat" was on the search bar. Our sex life, especially while using pills was rather reckless, we did it with abandon and passion. I am still capable of doing this even though I am not high, why does he not think he is, or why does he not find me attractive anymore? Does any one know anything that could help me. I dont want to give up on us, I dont know what he would do.
I think a lot of big exhausting discussions will need to happen about this. If he can hold out watching porn and masterbating for a while I think it would help immensely... but other than asking him I don't know how you'd make that happen.