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My husband gets angry with me

By Rosie | 2 posts, last post
Robert Rister answered this Anger Can Be an Illness, But That Doesn't Mean You Have to Be a Nurse
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Rosie

Hi

In summary, my husband gets very angry daily and asks the same questions daily.  It can be over anything, I've not put the lid down on the fairy liquid bottle in the cupboard, I speak during a program on tv, why am I visiting my kids on a different day to last week, why didn't answer my phone straight away, why did I go over a speed bump too fast when he's said it so many times, why is some bloke looking at me if I'm not looking at him when we're out, why am I going to my HO office twice in a week, why did I wash my hair again.  There's so much more

Almost daily he picks an argument, it can be about absolutely anything.  Yesterday was the first day I can remember for absoutely months, when we didn't argue once.  There was one point, was I could see he was changing, but he seemed to calm himself down and we went to a family party and we actually had a great 24 hours.

He knows he's like it.  I've learned to just keep quiet and not to argue, as it just goes mental if I have an answer.

I'm walking on eggshells daily and lately I can't wait to go to work.  I don't dread coming home yet, it's not violent.  But I'm not looking forward to coming home, as I just don't know what to expect

i've no idea if this makes sense to anyone else ...  Is there help out there ?

Guest

Did something happen between both of you which may have made him to become this way? Example did he find out you may have made contact with an ex or have you done something to make him suspect you may not be doing the right thing? There has to be an underlying cause for a change in behavior. You have to figure out the cause and if it's your fault, then take steps to fix it, and if it's his fault then you guys should find a way to sit and talk so that you can resolve this issue before it becomes worst.

Good luck & all the best!! 
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BedsonTrudeau18639

First of all, please ignore the first guy who said it could be your fault.  Of course there may be responsibility in your direction, but when a person is possessive, angry, and jealous, it's their personal choice.

I suggest you two go into couple therapy.  I really stress this because marriage should not be full of stress and fear; it should feed the two of you with love.  Perhaps he needs some anger management, and I'm sure the therapist would suggest something for you as well.

If your husband is against couple therapy, talk to him about how important it is that you guys work through this issue.  Tell him that you understand you may have things to work on as well and that seeing a therapist together could be a journey in bettering yourselves individually and as a couple.  When speaking with him, try to emphasize this a joint effort and not make it all about his anger.
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