My husband is accusing me of having sex behind his back

MY HUSBAND IS ACCUSING ME OF HAVING SEX BEHIND HIS BACK. HE IS ACCUSING ME OF THIS BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE HIM ENOUGH SEX. WE WOULD HAVE SEX ABOUT TWO TO THREE DAYS WITHIN A WEEK. I'M JUST SO TIRED OF HIM ACCUSING ME WHEN I'M 100 PERCENT FAITHFUL. WE BOTH HAVE FOUR BEAUTIFUL KIDS. THEIR AGE RANGED FROM 5 TO 1 AND I WORKED 10 HOURS A DAY. WHEN I GET HOME, ITS AROUND 8:30PM AND I WOULD STILL HAVE TO COOK FOR THE KIDS, GIVE THEM A BATH AND MYSELF A BATH. AFTER I FINISHED DOING ALL THAT, THE TIME WOULD BE AROUNG 10-10:30 AND I WOULD BE SO TIRED. MY TWO LITTLE BOYS STILL SLEEP WITH US, SO SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTILL THEY'RE ASLEEP. SOMETIME I WOULD FALL ASLEEP AND THE NEXT DAY HE WOULD BE MAD. I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH AND I DO ENJOY HAVING SEX WITH HIM, BUT THERE ARE SOME NIGHTS THAT I AM SO SO TIRED, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX. TONIGHT HE WENT OUT...HE TOLD ME, IF I DON'T WANT TO GIVE HIM SEX THEN HE WILL GO OUT AND FIND SEX. I REPLIED BACK TO HIM THAT HE COULD DO WHAT EVER HE WANTS, BUT WHEN HE REALIZES THE TRUTH , IT IS GOING TO BE TOO LATE TO TURN BACK. I DON'T WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO END BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 13 YEARS. HE IS THE ONE I LOVE , THE ONE I MISS AND THE ONE I CAN'T GO SLEEP WITHOUT.

A couple of things jump out at me from your posting.

First, you say you are working 10 hour days, but you don't mention if or how he is working.

Second, there are times when you are too tired for sex, and want to sleep. That should be your right. If he wants to help get the kids around, bathe them, help to cook the meals, then he can speak up a bit.

Third, you have two small boys sleeping with you. That needs to change. Those kids need to learn how to sleep on their own, and they need beds of their own. it may be a scrape to provide this, but it's important, and not just for you two adults to have privacy. Find a way to get those kids out of your bed and soon.

Fourth, and perhaps most important, I thin the two of you need some couple's counseling. Find a counselor through your church, or doctor, or school... but do bring your concerns to them. A third party, trained in couple's counseling will be a great help to sort out what is unrealistic and realistic expections for the two of you to attempt. Maybe having sex several times a week is possible, maybe it's impractical with so many kids in the house.

But it will help your husband to hear from a professional that some comprimise needs to be reached. Perhaps you two will agree that Wednesdays and Saturdays will be your nights. Or maybe you'll agree that you get to initiate on days with a T in them. Maybe you'll come to an agreement that you won't have intercourse, but you'll snuggle frequently, or alternate between intercourse one night and the next time, just a hand job for one or both of you.

Fifth, I would not give into any demand that "If you wont do it, I'm going to go elsewhere." That is NOT alright, if he wants to continue the marriage.

And it's NOT alright for you to agree to, given your final statement that "he's the one for me."

Now, if you want to agree to let him go to an adult bookstore and watch some videos, and jack off... if that's OK with you, that's between the two of you. (I know a couple when she was pregnant with their child, was not interested in sex. So she gave him permission to go to the adult strip club and watch or get himself off...Alone. It worked, provided he came home and had no contact with anyone else. It worked for them. After the child, they resumed sex when the doctor said OK.)

Lastly, remember what you said at the end. He's the one you can't sleep without. You love him. That's why you'll work together to compromise.

Good luck.

Let us know what happens.