I am a 66 year old male with a freight train sex drive. I have diabetes and cardio problems, somewhat solves by a recent triple bypass. Before that, I would experience random bouts of erectile dysfunction. Mostly, start hard, then get flacid too early. That has not been the case since the new arteries.
Now I am seeing a woman I knew intimately thrity years ago. She is my age but looks 20 years younger. We discovered love with each other...and are very compatible in most every way.
The only thing that has continously bothered me is that after we first met, she started recapping the gap in years between us and kept refering to herself as "wild". I KNOW IT IS HYPOCRITICAL for men to be so condeming of women who have had a lot of sex partners but OK for them to bang every woman who will say yes - but I am having somewhat of a mental roadblock that I do not want to interfere with the good thing we have.
While there is no doubt that you can not change the past, sometimes it is difficult for me to believe that I can be the only one and that she no longer has the urge to want other men. Despite telling me this, I am skeptical.
She tells me that I was the one man she always wanted (for a lifetime). She married early and was very naive so when the marriage ended, she started drinking, frequenting bars and meeting lots of new male friends. She believed that this was a perfectly unregretable trend in the 70s and 80s that had little or no effect on her life or reputatation. In a sort of confession story she wrote of herself, she said that she had slept with over a hundred men.
When asked, she doesn't really seem to know why except that "when living alone, after men you believe love you, fail you, you long for the touch of skin against yours." The part that really bothers me is that she was anatomically specific in her desire for touch.
I come in after two marriages to the same man. Right before she came to visit me for the first time, she told me she an her 2-time ex had been sleeping with each other not because he was good inbed but because he was fun to be with and made her laugh. Later on, she said he was an alcoholic. Guess thats what made it all fun.
Since we have been together she says he has no desire for her old habits and says she had told her husband not to call. She has taken her most recent f**k buddies out of her phone and tells me she is committed to me and the past is just that.
She turns me on constantly and when I make love to her she tells me that I am the best lover she has ever had. Everything we do, she rates like the best. Some things that I have tried with her she says are "first time ever" - which is hard to believe with her history of a hundred plus partners and I am always wondering just how much I am being BSed.
I can not constantly bring things up to her because there will come a time when this will become a negative to her and I wont be long for the road.
My dilemma is, is this just mental garbage that I need to get rid of (since it is done and cant be undone) and (2) is it normal to feel this way and let it get in the way of moving ahead with the enjoyment of each other? (3) how do I trust that she no longer has an insatiable drive for a variety of men (4) and how would any man respond to being told that he is the absolute best out of years of a woman being pounded on (which by the way, she says it was just sex and not attachment with the exception of afew two month relationships that always went south.
You see, I am not athletic, or hung, or a GQ underwear model but she rates me the best and the best fit.
I kive the woman. Mistake or no? How do I handle this Mindfuck?
get what checked out?