New to smoking, felt like couldn't control myself

So I am new to smoking, have only smoked about 5 times. The first 4 times everything was fine,I just felt relaxed and happy. But this last time was a nightmare. Before smoking I had sometimes gotten a depersonalization feeling where I feel like I'm in a dream almost. This last time I smoked I started getting that feelings and all of a sudden it got way more intense. I felt like I was not able to control what I was saying, I just kept talking and saying I was scared and felt liked was dying. It made me feel stupid, I felt like I couldn't even remember how to chew or swallow so I was afraid to eat. I also felt like I was going in and out of conciousness. It was so scary, I couldn't remember if I already said things or just thought them. I was also skaking uncontrollably for A while.Anyways this experience has given me more anxiety than I used to have and has made me not want to smoke again. Is this a normal experience? Because I was told I shouldn't ever feel like I couldn't control myself. Did I smoke too much? Or did it just trigger my anxiety and depersonalization feeling? My friends say they've never experienced this. Thanks!!