old mastrubation regret which might end my life now

I am a 57 year old female so I have been around a long time and have learned a lot during that time.  Rest assured there is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty about masturbating it is perfectly normal for both males and females to masturbate.  People may not talk about it but masturbation is a natural part of being a sexual being - just don't do it in public! 

Thnx fr your advice....bt d problem here is i want to quit this habbit. because sometimes i feel like cut n throw away my penis. so if u can advice me anything which can keep me away from mastrubatioon, i will be more than glad.

Personally I think given your age and that you are without a sexual partner masturbation is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of but since you feel that you want to stop masturbating take a look at the article below to see if any of the information here might help you. 

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Masturbation-Addiction

Masturbation is a normal and healthy activity, and indeed is the way most adolescents discover what makes them feel good before they embark on an adult sexual relationship. In some cases however, it can become an obsession. And that is not healthy. Medically masturbation is not a physical disease. Problems arise when it starts interfering in our lives as a stress, guilt or a thorn in our relationships.

It sounds like you regret the break-up, and are punishing yourself for it , to the point of obsession.Every time you connect her to what your doing,and feelig the pain of having lossing her. This didn't start till after your break-up, You should talk to your DR. or see a therapist. You definetley need to get professional help.Been there done that, when you consider suicide,your depression is the problem, and the thoughts of cutting off your penis is a way you are still taking the pain and the quilt for the breakout. I tried writing therapy and found it to be helpful, if you write honestley about events in your life, it doesn't make them go away,but using the proccess of thinking through the events, I posted mine on a webpage I had. I also sent them to a person I had started talking to online. Even if you post it somewhere anonously, knowing that someone else is hearing what you have to say. A first draft will probably jump around on a time line as you remember things. Rewrite it and try explaining and putting things in proper order. After the first one write about something in your past that you half partial memory of. I waited a long time, and was emotional about things that had gone wrong in my life. Sometimes things go wrong because of other people who use other people. Even afterall of this most of my Sr. year in high school is just a haze, nothing comes through, and holding what lead up to that in side for so long, had effected my work and social life.I have had 3-6month relationships and at 42 looked back and realized I hadn't had a life. I worked endless hours, moved from job to job, was a great employee, but I had very few memories of fitting in and connecting with someone.I am trying to make plans that will lead up in moving to a different country. My family is worthless, and when my dad died at 57,the problems of settleing the small estate brought many prpblems. I haven't spoke to my older sister in 20 yrs, and don't care if I ever do again. My couple of friends are my family,sometimes we don't keep conected, but always have that friendship that will last a lifetime. Ii hope you are doing better and have overcame some of your problems..
Nobody is as important than you are.! I told someone that I loved deeply goodbye, because the hurt that I had , had to stop. and I had enough repect for myself, to put myself first. It still hurt sometimes, but I didn't let myself be used and neglected because of their problems. You will never be happy with anyone else,until you are happy with yourself.