I have no idea why im typing this. Im loosimg my home on monday over $12,000 and my own stupidity because i just "shut down". I lost my father and both grandmothers in a row 2 yrs ago, then my dogs the next. My son is in med school, and doing very well. The day after my father died my id**t ex slapped me divorce. I seemed to be crimping his style by NOT supporting his life of drug use and punk rock... At 40?!?! Loosing my father DEVESTATED ME, and all thats left is my mom and her brother. I dont get along easily/well with my mother, but im trying. Now this. I cant breath, i cant take what has happened. Im just sitting here LOST in a panic... Terrified. On top of it all, i wok for my moms brother... I noticed he was showing signs of dimentia... Hes abusive, dangerous... Was always horrible. Used to call my parents and tell them he was going to fire me and watch my baby starve. He always made up stories. Like the cockatoo stevie nikks has on record cover was HIS.. Now its horrible. His young wife ignores it. His sugar tests in 300's... Had a stroke and was hospitalized.., but, still just rationalize it as "nothing"!?! The bussiness is failing, im only thing holding together. They just keep dumping more and more on me. Ive dropped from 135lbs to 90lbs. Still, nobodies concerned. They keep dumping and taking from me. Im lost, im afraid, ive made this huge mistake that i cant fix now. I hav no where to turn. My ex cost me EVERYTHING, then just skipped off to b in punk rock band and do drugs! My mom is falling apart and has become the most hatefull person on planet. Im also supporting sons gf... Its such a long story. Theres so much sadness and awfullness. I dont know wat to do. I just am sitting here, rocking and crying. Im just at a loss. Suicides bout only way to sneak out. My son will get policy. Im so lost. I dont know wat to do. It would take me HOURS to tell this whole tale. Its such a tangle of denial and shame. My uncles wife letting family bussiness die. My mom over the top with negativity. Im just done. Theres NO WHERE for me to turn. Im freaking out. Im done. Theres nothing left. Its all ruined. All of it. I cant even breath, i cant. Such a mess. Im just lost.
I know it isn't much, but you need to get away from it all, find the little expenses that you have sell them and move on you can't just sit there and go through all this on your own. The fact that you drop from 135 to 90 so drastically could be dangerous you need to e help and fast. Just because I don't know the real insight to your situation it seems that you need a supporting hand around you someone to be there and it seems that your ex isn't one of them nor is your mother (sad I know). You need to get help if seeing a psychologist it is then so be it but don't stay where you are regardless if you do get help and stick around your so called family will just keep a burden on your shoulders. You can't allow that to happen its your life and your health you are risking take care of yourself before others because at the end of the day it is about you. I hope I helped.