Really Really depressed

I feel there is little hope for me. Anybody can say oh, i haven't had it rough but I have had terrible times. I was a baby and my grandpa squeezed my wrist so hard that he could have broken it. At about 2, I was tied to a chair in day care at the local day care center. At 6 years old, I get bullied physically every single day in first grade- kicked to the ground, hit, punched, called names, scratched, threatened. At 7 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night at a sleepover because I was homesick and crying. I lived a couple of houses away in a culdesac and got whipped with a belt by my neighbor. My mom didn't call the cops. At 8 years old, I'm left in the freezing cold by my babysitter for about an hour. My mom didn't call the cops. When I get to 9 years old, one of my friends is taken away from me by a mean kid. When I get to 11 years old, I'm bullied at a prep middle school. At 13, I dated a kid and got verbally and physically abused every day- the worst incident was when he punched me in the lower back and left a big bruise. My mom and dad didn't help me fight for justice. At 15, I'm still receiving harassing phone calls from the boy and fought for my own justice. At 16, I go out with a guy and 6 months into the relationship, he kidnaps me and sexually assaults me. At 17, I finally go out with a gentleman. At 18, I end up in a car accident and am left with a permanent injury. 4 months later, my mom finally takes me to the walk-in clinic and the x-ray comes back normal and the doctor says it's probably just a pulled muscle. 6 months later, I'm still in pain and make an appointment. My mom tries to prevent me from going because she believes that there's nothing wrong with where I was injured. I get results from my primary care doctor and he says that he recommends physical therapy. My mom doesn't care to help me get the treatment. At 19 (I'm presently nineteen), I witness lightning that hit 2 students at a college campus on the trip that I went to in the summer for a conference. A shooting also occurred. My mom didn't care to help me get help for mental health. Since age 14, I've been cutting myself. I can't handle working right now, because I'm in so much emotional pain and it would intrude. Sorry if this is all too long and stupid to anyone who reads this.