I have had OCD my whole life. At 15, I learned smoking marijuana stopped my obsessive thoughts. I have been smoking since, I am now almost 28. I don't know what to do, I feel like my case is different because of my obsessive compulsive disorder. Please understand, I am not a germ freak or hand washer, I have pure O, obsessions and doubting reality, in the past most importantly. I have gone years without missing a day, and I have also had to take a couple days off for travel, etc. When I am out, like now, I feel so terrible, my OCD thoughts have nothing to calm them down. As a test, I just put some stems in a bong with a bunch of kief powder, and I am now sitting here smiling and feeling better. Why does it HELP so much?? And yet, why do I want to stop so much too? I just want to be normal, no substances needed. Please help me.
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It's amazing how time passes. I am now 28 and have been smoking since 15.. I think I've had enough. The only thing that draws me back to smoking pot is that it mellows me after a stressful day. I have now decided I need to quit. I know a few people who have gotten in trouble with the law because of this and I dont want to be one of them. Im a mother what kind of example os this going to be in the future for my kid?? Their has to be other ways to mellow my anxiety aside smoking.. I looked at my bank account and realized Im spending a heck of a lot on this and whats the outcome? Being broke and yerning for more, I feel like a crack head lol.. Seriously we need to set our priorities in order. Im in a relationship where Im the smoker and always on a mission when running low to get more, how much of fiend can I be. I relate to a lot of you guys on here. Think about it, when you decide you want a new job whats the first mission? Drug test, spending money on detox and then right back to it. Im sick of it, honestly deep down inside I love marijuana but I cant live my life high always. I depended it on it every day just to pass the day, I'd wake and bake. Go to the mall I'd smoke, go eat, smoke anything in my life weed was first. I litrally stopped cold turkey. Started exercising eating right. I say the most important thing when quiting is staying away from those who still smoke at least for the first month. Ive been clean for a week and refuse to go back. the urge is their but my dealer is far so at least I cant get it that easily. I honestly wish I never started smoking pot. All my memories of anything are of me getting high first and then doing my thing. I really wish their was more support groups or more advertising for quitting. People say its not addicting thats bull.. It sure is if you depend on it to have a good time or just chill. I dont want to loose my relationship beacause of this or loose a good job opportunity or miss time with my kid. WEED FREE lets do it. Ive never been clean only when i was preggers of course. But now is the time, I cant turn 30 and still be smoking, screw it now or never. And if I cant do this for myself what can i do for my family. I want to be clean for a year and I will be.. We all could do it so lets start. No whining off just cold turkey is the best if not youre just setting yourself up to continue to smoke.
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Kathy I pray and hope for you even tho I dont know you. Do other things is all I can say. I cant imagine what you have been thru with loosing a kid. Just know that weed isn't the answer because yes, you may good when your high but you will the same after the high is gone. F*k that you are stronger than that little plant. Do it for your other kids if not for yourself. You can get out of it. We All Can.
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Hello,
I just joined this site after reading all these posts. I am also a 49 year old woman, a daily smoker for the last 20+ years. We have a lot in common...I'm asking myself the same thing and continue to struggle. Maybe we can all help each other out...
I just joined this site after reading all these posts. I am also a 49 year old woman, a daily smoker for the last 20+ years. We have a lot in common...I'm asking myself the same thing and continue to struggle. Maybe we can all help each other out...
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Ha ha, I have heard that salvia will make you "see God." wow, that is WAY more than I need - just a little buzz is fine, thanks!! :)
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hi everyone! nothing new to say for me, I'm in the same boat as all of us. I am 28, woman, been smoking for about 10 years, for the past 7 years or so I've been smoking everyday, like 3/4 joints a day (never liked bongs and pipes so much), that's if I'm trying to keep things slow. I wake and bake, smoke some more after lunch, and then before going to work, and then after work until late in the night. In the meantime, I'm just too lazy to do anything but watch movies or read (reading has always been my favourite thing to do while high... did I say I'm a bookish kind of girl? I used to write also, poetry and short stories, but now I don't even bother to put pen to paper), then pig out on whatever I can find. Most days I can't get out of the house, even for shopping. I never tried to stop (well, tried, but went on for just days). I used to be a bright but bookish/nerdy kid, never had many friends, and when I found out how relaxing smoking is, and how easy it makes to make friends, and how people start to think you cool if you smoke... well, everyone can figure out the rest. Got high grades in high school, but university was more tough.
I went to live in another city, away from my parents, and that meant I could do it whenever I wanted. As uni lessons are not compulsory where I live (nor are the exams), I just kept on smoking and fell behind, though I'm still quite intelligent and can prepare for an exam in no time... I just didn't have the motivation to. All I wanted to do was chill out on the sofa with a joint, and read. I think it also contributed to ruining a couple of what could have been good relationships, because all I cared for was hash: I didn't care about my bfs, or meeting their friends, or doing things with them, and I did smoke behind their back, trying to hide that from them and feeling guilty and paranoid all the time (and obviously, he always knew). I lost a good deal of my friends, just because I can't bother to contact them, or because it's so flipping difficult to go out when you're smoked and anyway... why go out, when you got everything you need, right?
Fast forward to now, and I'm still at uni (eight years to finish a three year course... literature, obviously), got a part-time job, stupid and low paid, and am socially isolated. I spent lots of money (my parent's money) on uni fees, drugs and the like, and feel so ashamed about that. I tried to go some days without (no decision, my dealer was out of town, so I had to) and it has been difficult, trying to enjoy other things while always thinking about how good it would be with a joint. Recently I have tried again, didn't smoke for nearly three weeks and I was fine, only the nightmares and loss of appetite troubled me a bit. But then a friend came one night, and guess what? I was back again to my routine, smoking all day, everyday. But it's not fun anymore (hasn't been for some time): as soon as I light up, I start thinking "why have I done that, now I've been too stoned to do everything, and will feel terrible", then I wait till I feel kind of normal again, and then I light up another. It's been like that for I don't remember how long. and some of you there are right, after the third, fourth join you don't even feel the high anymore.
I am trying, really trying to sort myself out, like finishing uni and working to pay my fees, and I would love to have friends again and have some meaningful conversation (not the kind of pseudo-philosophical talk you get when you're stoned). I feel like I don't have a life anymore, everything is shrouded in a kind of hazy fog, and the days and weeks, and months just slip by, and I can't remember where they've gone or what they've left me. Nothing means anything anymore. I can't remember even the most stupid things, and doing everything just seems sooo difficult, I'm just so tired all the day. Though I still love MJ (the smell, the taste, the whole thing of rolling up) I am now trying to cut down to smoking at weekends and maybe one night only during the week, and I would really like to quit (as I think I should, as I am not the kind of person who can handle her substance intake, or so it seems) but I am too scared, mostly of the nights and evenings alone by myself (that's when I smoke more). I fooled everyone into thinking I don't have a problem, and that even if they think I have, I don't think so, and I don't want their help or opinions, thank you so much and f**k off. So I am out here, utterly alone, and scared, when I've stumbled on this tread.
Sorry for rambling on for so long, but really I felt that the people here would understand what I'm talking about, as my people normally don't (my friends either don't understand "what are you talking about? MJ is not addictive, you're just playing with the idea of being a junkie.." or don't care, or think I'm just fooling round and I really don't want to quit), while everything you guys wrote here feels so real, and everyone so supportive and insightful, and I really feel I can relate. Btw, I also usually don't post back in forums.
Big thanks to everyone for sharing their experience, and for letting me share mine. I'll come back to this site and see how's going on with you, and keep u updated on my world. Keep up the good work, there's hope for us as long as such beautiful people are around. If I were religious, I would pray for you all and your mission.
and, as a sidenote: I still think MJ is great, and a gift of God when used wisely, and should be legal, but sadly, not everyone can control the way they use drugs. There are people out there enjoying the odd drink, and there are alcoholics. they are just different kinds of people.
buona fortuna!
I went to live in another city, away from my parents, and that meant I could do it whenever I wanted. As uni lessons are not compulsory where I live (nor are the exams), I just kept on smoking and fell behind, though I'm still quite intelligent and can prepare for an exam in no time... I just didn't have the motivation to. All I wanted to do was chill out on the sofa with a joint, and read. I think it also contributed to ruining a couple of what could have been good relationships, because all I cared for was hash: I didn't care about my bfs, or meeting their friends, or doing things with them, and I did smoke behind their back, trying to hide that from them and feeling guilty and paranoid all the time (and obviously, he always knew). I lost a good deal of my friends, just because I can't bother to contact them, or because it's so flipping difficult to go out when you're smoked and anyway... why go out, when you got everything you need, right?
Fast forward to now, and I'm still at uni (eight years to finish a three year course... literature, obviously), got a part-time job, stupid and low paid, and am socially isolated. I spent lots of money (my parent's money) on uni fees, drugs and the like, and feel so ashamed about that. I tried to go some days without (no decision, my dealer was out of town, so I had to) and it has been difficult, trying to enjoy other things while always thinking about how good it would be with a joint. Recently I have tried again, didn't smoke for nearly three weeks and I was fine, only the nightmares and loss of appetite troubled me a bit. But then a friend came one night, and guess what? I was back again to my routine, smoking all day, everyday. But it's not fun anymore (hasn't been for some time): as soon as I light up, I start thinking "why have I done that, now I've been too stoned to do everything, and will feel terrible", then I wait till I feel kind of normal again, and then I light up another. It's been like that for I don't remember how long. and some of you there are right, after the third, fourth join you don't even feel the high anymore.
I am trying, really trying to sort myself out, like finishing uni and working to pay my fees, and I would love to have friends again and have some meaningful conversation (not the kind of pseudo-philosophical talk you get when you're stoned). I feel like I don't have a life anymore, everything is shrouded in a kind of hazy fog, and the days and weeks, and months just slip by, and I can't remember where they've gone or what they've left me. Nothing means anything anymore. I can't remember even the most stupid things, and doing everything just seems sooo difficult, I'm just so tired all the day. Though I still love MJ (the smell, the taste, the whole thing of rolling up) I am now trying to cut down to smoking at weekends and maybe one night only during the week, and I would really like to quit (as I think I should, as I am not the kind of person who can handle her substance intake, or so it seems) but I am too scared, mostly of the nights and evenings alone by myself (that's when I smoke more). I fooled everyone into thinking I don't have a problem, and that even if they think I have, I don't think so, and I don't want their help or opinions, thank you so much and f**k off. So I am out here, utterly alone, and scared, when I've stumbled on this tread.
Sorry for rambling on for so long, but really I felt that the people here would understand what I'm talking about, as my people normally don't (my friends either don't understand "what are you talking about? MJ is not addictive, you're just playing with the idea of being a junkie.." or don't care, or think I'm just fooling round and I really don't want to quit), while everything you guys wrote here feels so real, and everyone so supportive and insightful, and I really feel I can relate. Btw, I also usually don't post back in forums.
Big thanks to everyone for sharing their experience, and for letting me share mine. I'll come back to this site and see how's going on with you, and keep u updated on my world. Keep up the good work, there's hope for us as long as such beautiful people are around. If I were religious, I would pray for you all and your mission.
and, as a sidenote: I still think MJ is great, and a gift of God when used wisely, and should be legal, but sadly, not everyone can control the way they use drugs. There are people out there enjoying the odd drink, and there are alcoholics. they are just different kinds of people.
buona fortuna!
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Checking back and in to this great resource for quitting and staying off pot. Seems we all have such common emotions with the MJ. Been off for about 6 months now. Can't lie - I miss it, I think about it, I dream about it. I smelled some the other day and my mouth watered. I DON'T miss the sequences (and possibly severe consequences) of getting some pot, getting something to smoke it with/in, lighting up, (the RUSH of the first hit is overwhelming) and thinkng, sometimes saying out loud "WTF why can't I stop this cycle I hate feeling stoned". One thing for sure - We all know this cycle too well. It will happen that's an absolute. But, I can't let my desire to smoke overcome my strength to stop!! Good luck much love you're not alone in the struggle to be free of THC
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Quantum,
I just came across this article today and wanted to say thank you for posting it. I am currently struggling to put this addiction behind me. It has been about 10 years for me (usually 5-8 hits/sessions daily) and my attempts at stopping cold turkey have been much harder than I imagined. My appetite and anxiety are particularly bad. I find it extremely hard to eat without using marijuana. I also find it hard to keep anything down that I do manage to eat. I get nausea. I have been very stressed. I have been quite irritable. Marijuana has created a distance between me and my family, kept me from travelling, is an additional expense.... I could go on and on.
Unfortunately, I also have had issues with alcohol, and marijuana has always helped me manage my alcohol addiction. It has been a very helpful tool in that sense. It's harder for me to feel the same motivation in quitting marijuana as it was with alcohol simply because of how destructive alcohol was to my life in comparison. I now am looking to achieve complete sobriety and since I have been struggling on my own, I will be using this article for advice in an attempt to free myself from marijuana.
Wish me good luck,
CJVP
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Wow. This is one word that describes everything I have just read. Everyone who has replied seems to have identical issues, not only to me, but just about all of the people associated with smoking weed habitually; from what I've come to learn at least.
I myself am grappling with the idea of quitting, for many reasons actually:
- I would like a better job which would require a urinalysis assessment.
- My mother has wanted me to quit for a few years now. I obviously love her a lot and would like to.
- I feel as if I am starting to notice long-term symptoms.
- I feel scatter-brained a lot of the time when I'm not high.
- I like to smoke the good stuff and it's expensive around here.
I have more reasons but you get the idea. To me, these are enough negative aspects in my life that I could turn around easily just by quitting. I believe that if I can do this it would be like a goal that I have achieved and I would be proud of myself. Also, I think everything would just start to look up from then. I don't know why I think that but I know I would feel better about myself.
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Quantum,
Hi,
I am not a person, who usually (actually ever) replies, I simple try to take the best points from a post like this.
I am in advertising, and I completely relate to this post!
I am exactly like this, except that I hide my anxiety at the back of my mind, I do this by constantly having something to watch!
I am going to take your advice, 100% because i'm starting to see the effects that weed is having on my life (I won't go into too much detail - but i pretty much live this post to be honest)
Going back to my early point of never usually making a point.
I simply had to let you know that I completely sympathies with you, and the advice has given be great inspiration and a pathway to quitting.
I would like to say that i could cut down so that i may have a hit with some friends maybe once every 2 months i was wondering what you think? or am I kidding myself?
I am going to take your advice and try and quit asap!
Regards
jon conway - find me on facebook if you find the time for a chat I totally understand if this post was sent ages ago!
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Im 28 & have been smoking 15 years everyday. I know that everybody knows too, i just cant stop. I still function allright but, yeah, i go to work and university stoned. I stopped for 6 months to see if i got better grades but my grades stayed the same so i just kept heavy smoking again. I got a science degree -stoned. I have no reason to stop except that now its just me and a few stoner friends living in our small town and all my other friends have moved away to bigger and brighter futures. When I stopped i felt great- less anxious, less self consious and able to hold a conversation and look people in the eye, i was assertive , i made stuff happen. Its been two days since i smoked. Im feeling desperate and have a fever. i have to quit now cause i can see my life slipping away. i dont want to end up a loser living in this town and smoking weed. dont let it get to the point where you have to quit, quit before then.
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I find this blog to be very inspirational as I didn't know others were at war with themselves over the ganja also. I am 30 years old and I've been smoking habitually and daily since I was 14, with probably one month being the longest break between that time. I probably consumed a gram a day for the past ten years. I find quitting this expensive habit the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I've been on the ganja for over half my life so that's all I know. When you wake up, before you eat, after you eat, before you watch T.V, before every damn thing. Why? I ask myself that question everyday. The fact that mj is practically legal in California makes me rationalize that it's okay and normal but it isn't. I'm tired of being a slave for mj and i've witnessed a lot of symptoms that others on this blog have too. I do talk over people and anxiety builds up because of it. I do get irritable if I don't have any. For all those who are trying to quit, don't turn to other mind altering things for relief. It might sound weird but whenever you crave, just jackoff and get a quick nut out. You still get a feeling of some "pleasure" and a short term "high" that is free and not as damaging to your health.>:(
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I have been smoking for over 7 years. It started occassionally with friends, to an everyday thing.. now I need it to get by on a day to day basis. I guess you can say I'm a smart guy, but I have heavily smoked the last 2 years or so.. only bongs.. 2-6 grams a day everyday for awhile. I guess I never really noticed I had a problem until one day, I realized I needed it to do simple things, such as Eat a meal...... This is because the Piturary gland is tricked which regulates hunger, thirst, and sexual hormones. When I don't smoke I'm an as****e... My family has history of anxciety and I think MJ has brought out anxciety in me, When I don't smoke for a good 8 hours or so I start sweating, than my anxciety shoots through the roof My mind starts thinking not normal.... I find it racing...... Than I start feeling sick, when I don't smoke like nautious, sometimes I have actually thrown up. I have been to the emergency hospital a few times, I have had a cat scan, a scope and all the most advanced medical tests you can have done, all I was given was an Anti depressant called Mirtzapine, I guess long term users of MJ leads to depression. I take this pill 40 minz before bed. I find that before I go to work, I need to smoke to get through the day, to help me work better, it makes me more relaxed, it makes me easier to interact with people. When I don't smoke my gf says I cut people off and rush them when they are talking to me. When I don't smoke I have 0 Appetite what so ever, I get irritated, and I Just do not feel like I want to be that. I already have a fairly low weight, (skinny) and I don't think I can do a few weeks of 0 appetite. Currently I am trying to cut down, to 2 times a day 3 max, but when you need it to eat, it becomes a hole another level, am I suppose to just starve and let anarexia take me over cause I cant eat without smoking? ... Apart from needing it to eat.. I can only see positives for me.. but if people can read this before they smoke it would save them what I go through.
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like all you guys above weed was always a massive part of my life. i thought that the feeling of been high was a warm cover over lifes problems..had a fight with my missues need a joint, had a sh*t day at work need a spliff, no money id steel from people i care about to get weed to make things ok.
im now 28 and have an amazing girlfriend and im with her 4 years but her patients is wearing thin with my smoking.
i tried cold turkey i went to amsterdam and got stoned outta my nut for 4 days thinking yea sure once u head to the dam notting will compare to it and it ddoesnt but the first night i was back i got a bag off my deeler and it was like smoking tealeafs compared to the dams strains.
but yet i just laughed it off and continue to smoke.
I REALLY NEED HELP TO QUIT beacsuse unlike u guys it has effected my work and ive not shown up to jobs because i wanted to get baked instead..
im now 28 and have an amazing girlfriend and im with her 4 years but her patients is wearing thin with my smoking.
i tried cold turkey i went to amsterdam and got stoned outta my nut for 4 days thinking yea sure once u head to the dam notting will compare to it and it ddoesnt but the first night i was back i got a bag off my deeler and it was like smoking tealeafs compared to the dams strains.
but yet i just laughed it off and continue to smoke.
I REALLY NEED HELP TO QUIT beacsuse unlike u guys it has effected my work and ive not shown up to jobs because i wanted to get baked instead..
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Great site! I'm not as alone as I thought. The stoner culture can be quite arrogant, made me feel like it's all about lack of character. But it's clear that it's different for everybody, makes me feel better. I went cold turkey and think it's the most effective way for most people, just take pride in that you are doing something hard.
My advice is don't stop just to stop, have a goal. My goal is to become a MMA fighter, I have a long way to go and might never get there, that's fine, I like the journey, it keeps me motivated and I already feel more confident. One day I'll be brave enough to be a father, but I need to prove that I can take care of myself before I do that. :)
What's your goal?
My advice is don't stop just to stop, have a goal. My goal is to become a MMA fighter, I have a long way to go and might never get there, that's fine, I like the journey, it keeps me motivated and I already feel more confident. One day I'll be brave enough to be a father, but I need to prove that I can take care of myself before I do that. :)
What's your goal?
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