second ACDF surgery april 11, 2013 - brutal

I had a two level fusion performed may 2, 2011. Most intense pain I've ever felt post surgically. The pain if the surgery was much worse than the radiculopathy radiating down right arm and shoulders. This whole problem started with a misdiagnosis if thoracic outlet syndrome in the thoracic T3-T4 region. This is incidental now, traction therapy led to herniation of discs in the cervical c5-c6 and c6-c7 discs(6mm, and 9mm off center). This problem was not present prior to physical therapy. As anybody here with fusion problems know now is causality and blame matter little, but rather the ability to find a means to get a simple quality of life so you do not become adept to crippling depression, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness. If you are not in the category of basic positive success then your life is nothing less than torture. I barely cope 10 mins some days now. The more you try to explain the extreme problems, which is so variant from patient to patient, surgeon to surgeon, insurance company, psychiatry, family, friends, children, the more diverted everyone around you will become. Post operative you should have noticeable change in your pain within 6 weeks. I have spoke with many success patients with a covetous interest. Their lives are not usually close to their preoperative condition both in lifestyle and in the myriad of problems that led them to agree to such a seemingly simple yet quantitatively barbaric surgery. A rare few have had success with a neuro stim implant or injection therapies or radiography to tunnel down the nerves around problem areas. The larger percentage that I have had the privilege to speak to have some pretty tough lives after fusion surgeries. I am on day 6 of the second surgery to replace the bone in c6-c7 and replace the hardware in hopes to lessen the chance of furthering the damage being done to my central nervous system. I have a positive look on this, but my days are very hard. Over the last two years I have had a list of miscarriages in terms of opinion and diagnosis. At month 1, where you should notice a dramatic change in most aspects if preoperative problems. Pain, depression, movement, all three should improve immensely. Guess using the childish number system from the 9-10 pain level to a gradually decreasing to a 2-4 pain level. Best case should see little pain except when you are being active but if your human at all, going to the bathroom should not be torturous. The need for analgesics and opiates should abide and any need for them should be more of a dependency which you most assuredly want to work with a trained pain psychologist to remedy your habit if it is merely a habit and not a necessity. Now given this, I tell what I have gone through for two years to get a second surgery which should abide the pain level some. Initially I was told that the depression I was feeling was a post operative depression. My pain level rarely got below a six on the 10 scale. I was on a regiment of 40 mg of hydrocodone for breakthrough pain relief taken throughout the day, the medication metabolised within 2 hours always, quicker if the pain was bad from movement, weather, or just a neurotic neuron day. I know that the doctors are very hesitant to offer higher levels of medication or extended relief medication, for fear of retribution because of a patient trying to get `high`, or trying to sell the drugs to someone else. Very understandable, but, for a patient who tries to be honest and give good feedback about the possibility of continued problems and possible further nerve damage from a fusion not setting well, the frustration is immense. Insinuation that your pain is not as bad as you are describing creates a serious problem for the patient and the anxiety produced by this can be incredibly overwhelming. Again furthering your tension between doctor and patient. I personally have had yelling happen between me and my doctor who specifically works with chronic pain patients. Distrust and disbelief now starts to cloud the whole process of getting a position to be objective and work make your life better, because if you can't feel like your being understood or trusted, a sense of isolation can be so intolerable that 'quitting' is a reoccurring theme that is unfair to all involved, especially my children, if you were to analyze the situation. Now given the situation, a pragmatist might say ease the pain improve the quality of life for the patient. I must say, in many offices I have spoke with patients who almost seem lost in a sea of pain and altered states. This looks horrible to most people, but the pain they are enduring leads to a matter of choices. Further surgery that may make it better or worse again. Stronger medications which definitely has their down sides in terms of cognition, behavior, and being a part of life that is not anachronistically misplaced. Psychological smoke and mirrors to distract and confuse the paradigm of a life that is disfigured and retarded and emotionally explosive or emotionally constipated. Holistic attempts to bring some normalcy to your life mayor may not be "positive.". I, and this is a strong opinion, the alternative to trying any or all of these procurements, is really a scary and dark place to think about. The great big elephant that becomes the big question is the morality and effectiveness of pain medications. My background us math and physics so I do have a pretty mechanical view about medications. I have had times throughout this last two years that were really quite approachable but amoral to the agreements that you are forced to bind to if you want to get medication that could ease your pain. You give a scalar value to your situation and this leads to a min/max decision process that is given to a pain specialist once a post operative period has passed and the surgeon feels that what has been done is the most get can do. If there is not a noticeable problem on an MRI or CT scan, the surgeon feels he can do no more and that you might be a patient that is either in depression or has an inability to give up medications that can be quite troublesome in their addictive behaviors. At this point, regardless if your pain level, you are now in for a real challenge. You need to seek psychological help, fair warning, to help you balance your psychological disposition and your physical ailments. Don't second guess this decision, I have been happy to gain their tools considering how dark and brooding chronic pain can make any situation. What was fun becomes unfun. Sex is hard on the body. Those around you also question your condition, which leads to distrust amongst friends, family, and your children. Be honest with your psychological support, you need them. Now I mentioned that I gave had some good in the middle if what seems to be a war with yourself and those around you. I have taken medication two or three at a time instead of one and found that I could have, albeit still troublesome, sex, or play a couple if hours of cards or video games with my children. This is considered 'abuse' of the schedule you agree to follow from the doctors. You can tell the doctors if the positive nature of increasing the medication, and most I find get curiously upset and even threaten to give you no more if you don't follow the regiment they say us the "Max" I should need to have a basic quality of life. So I tell you with great apprehension, do continue to ask for a better treatment chemically for the pain signs your brain is receiving. Of course the long term goal is no medication and a lifestyle where just doing the dishes is not a complete breakdown because of the pain. Keep focused on that, I know I am. I have recently started seeing a psychologist who specializes in pain patients and having advocacy at any point is a tremendous boost in your morale. My recent visit has provided me with that much more information that keeps me from losing faith in the medical people I am in collaboration with to try to increase my quality of life and ease my mental and physical pain. Do not run to street drugs, this is a death trap. I have lost two friends to shooting up heroin because the pain relief was dramatic and seemingly positive. I firmly believe that one of them 'chose' to overdose because the life she was leading was deplorable and seemingly a no win situation. I'll never know, but I think I do. Now, I hurt from this and I hope to get feedback because anything is better than nothing. My email is

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 and I appreciate any opinions considering my disability, federally decided by a judge to be onset of the date of my first surgery. I am going to go kiss my daughters with tears knowing how well they adjusted to my challenge. I will go rub my girlfriends feet just because I can and it makes her feel better. Then I will, as I do almost every right try to sleep after I look over the crib of my four month old daughter Sara, promising myself that I must keep some strength for she needs to know that our civilization has civilized ways and that one must never give up. Love to you all and with tears I say see yah when I see yah. Jon, Wisconsin