I am 18, currently enrolled in college. On the outside, everybody sees me as a very sweet and easy going girl, but on the inside, I am constantly berated with these strange urges to inflict harm on myself or others. I have the basic understanding that acting upon these urges will have negative results. I try to get the urges out using sex as an outlet. I have started getting into BDSM to release the violence, but I don't think that it is working.... Is there something wrong with me?
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Do you have a close friend you could talk to about these urges? If not, maybe you should look into seeing a therapist/councelor. The therapist/councelor will be able to tell you if anything is wrong with you. It might be something as simple as a hormonal imbalance, or nutrient deffiectcy which can be easily fixed. You don't have to talk to the therapist/councelor about your urges durring the very first session if you're not comfortable with it. You can just talk about your classes, find a common bond ect. Work up to talking about your urges and go from there. Take it one day at a time.
It really does help to talk your feelings out with someone you trust/you feel you can confide in.
Yes, acting on your urges will have negative results.
Maybe even writing your feelings down in a locked journal might help you. Maybe even buying a large, overstuffed body pillow and pounding the heck out of it; that way you have another outlet.
I used to be slightly suicidal, but I was able to get out of the situation and haven't had one of those thoughts since. Are you having a rough time at home? Your home life may be affecting the way you think.
I hope this helped. Good luck. Please keep us updated. Help is out there, you have only but to ask.
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I don't have any problems at home. I recently moved in with my father and step mother and we are all very easy going with each other. I can't afford a therapist and my best friend is worse off than I am as far as this kind of thing goes. Thank you so much, though
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You're very welcome.
How about a college counselor? Most colleges have one just in case there is a situation like this, and usually do not charge anything.
I hope that you will be able to find help, for yourself and your best friend. Maybe the two of you can go to the college counselor together?
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