I was molested from age 9-18 by my father and I never told anyone about it but Iam 34 years old now and I am finally realizing that I can't go on living like this. I don't go anywhere and I just feel like it's something in side of me that just want to break free. I tried to kill myself when I was 15 years old by taking pills. Obviously I didn't die but hings didn't get better they got worst. Started cutting and ihave been doing it for a while now. I also get into this trance that I pull all the skin off my lip and I really don't realize that I have done it until my fingers are bloody and then I jusst snap out of it and try to heal them back up but it's to the point now that they are prementaly discolored and it nothing that i can do about it. I will be going to a therpist this week and I hope that I can get over this i'm really hurting right now and my husband is just lost I did tell him before we got married that I was molested by my father and now it's just getting out of control. My husband want to have children and Iam afraid of that because I can't stand to hear loud noise and crying and jumping around and all that but I hope I can get help thank you for listening. :'(
Please make sure that you are with someone right now. That is the most important thing that you can do for yourself now.
Call the therapist back and tell them how you feel. If you can't do that now, call a hot line. There are lots of people that want to help.
Take care of your self. You were the victim and it was not your fault.
Please stay with someone, don't be alone. You can always call for an ambulance. I'm proud of you for looking for help and I know any other medic would be as well.
God bless
Call the therapist back and tell them how you feel. If you can't do that now, call a hot line. There are lots of people that want to help.
Take care of your self. You were the victim and it was not your fault.
Please stay with someone, don't be alone. You can always call for an ambulance. I'm proud of you for looking for help and I know any other medic would be as well.
God bless
\hi renetta, hope you are manging to keep your head above water. I feel as though I am drowning, like a physical force is opushing me under. This is the thing i laugh so hard with friends, makeup imagery things to laugh and hide the truth. If I go into detail about any of it I feel hurt and he fact is, no one now can do anything for me. The only wat to describe how I feel is this.........I want all my bits taken out ( sterilised ...reshaped then put back in.....I want to sometimes rip my skin of my body...I look at sharp ojects and fear but a gleeing feeling of Just do it......is there yet I know I dont want to and I also know when I satrt something I find it difficult to stop.
I dont cut myself yet ( but the thought is thre) I do do harmful things, take substances and thanfully I know nothing about chemistry and how they could harm me. ( I really hope its safe to write here) last night for instance I had my wine took 4 nytol capsule, some adidios and some starflower oil, Very tempted to try out some other thing in my cupboard. Didnt sllep.
Anyway,,,,,,,,my distraction is regression. The only way to handle life...regress back to being a child. Playing on swings....doing naughty things . That way I get on with my children....but hen theres no respect line and I blow. Someon help...Am I mad?????
I dont cut myself yet ( but the thought is thre) I do do harmful things, take substances and thanfully I know nothing about chemistry and how they could harm me. ( I really hope its safe to write here) last night for instance I had my wine took 4 nytol capsule, some adidios and some starflower oil, Very tempted to try out some other thing in my cupboard. Didnt sllep.
Anyway,,,,,,,,my distraction is regression. The only way to handle life...regress back to being a child. Playing on swings....doing naughty things . That way I get on with my children....but hen theres no respect line and I blow. Someon help...Am I mad?????