I am so happy to have found this forum. For the longest time I felt that I was the only one with this problem. Everyone around me is able to drive and many of them own their own cars. My sixteen year old sister is further along in her driver's training than I am.
I managed to avoid getting my learner's permit until I was almost 18, and then my boyfriend convinced me to try. I passed the written test straight away, even though I was tempted to fail on purpose so I wouldn't have to drive. Since then I have driven around an empty parking lot once with my mother and a couple times with my boyfriend. He tried to suggest that we drive in a parking lot where there were a couple cars. I was so anxious about the prospect of being seen driving that I started to cry.
My parent's paid for me to do driver's education last year. I managed to complete all of the classroom lessons but I don't have the nerve to do the "in-car" lessons. The idea that they have wasted hundreds of dollars on lessons I won't take keeps me up at night. It's so humiliating to be forced to be so disrespectful because of my fear.
I'm almost 21 years old now and I live in a secluded community with no public transport. I hate having to be driven to work and appointments. My parents have been applying pressure for a long time. Each time they bring it up, I feel like they're making it harder for me to actually want to drive. My boyfriend has been very supportive and often drives me where I need to be, even if I could make other arrangements. He saves me time and money and as grateful as I am, I still feel like I'm a burden to him.
When my friends make plans to get together I have to remind them that I won't be able to go unless one of them picks me up. They're really good about it, but I hate hate having to ask.
I have been given the name of a counselor by my GP, but I don't think my desire to be a free person who isn't a nuisance to friends and family out-weighs my fear of driving and shame of having to "get help". I'm going to have to admit to someone that I'm seeing a counselor, because I'm going to have to ask someone for a ride. Any suggestions?
After that, I don't want to drive anymore because I always feel like I'm putting everyone around me in danger. I feel like my mother and everyone around me caused my fear, because all of them are too impatient, and either yells or honks at me. I stopped driving and will never ever drive again. I'm just using my longboard to get around now. Even if it'll take hours for me to arrive. I can live with it because I'm leaving to the military soon anyways and I probably won't come back to this cruel society. I'd rather work and live on my own.
I want to drive, but I just can't at all. All of those thoughts just runs through my mind and I just walk away from it.
I'm never scared of anything even heights but it seems that now, driving is my only and greatest fear.
I just wanted to share and maybe one day, hopefully in the military, I'll overcome this fear.
I to suffer from the fear of driving. This has been a gradual building of the fear to the point of becoming agoraphobic. Under no circumstance will I drive on the freeway and the only place I will drive is in the neighborhood. When I absolutly have to drive out of my comfort zone I have panic attacks for days. Sometimes I have to cancel those appointments. Even driving in the neighborhood causes panic. My doctor says to overcome it is to just do it. That is easy to say if you don't suffer from this.
I'm in exactly the same boat as many of you, it's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one suffering from this extremely inconvenient problem and anxiety. I didn't get my permit or do Driver's Ed until shortly before I turned 18 and left for college. I honestly had almost no driving practice during this time. Unfortunately for me, I have an extremely impatient and perfectionist parent. My mother insisted that I keep taking the license test during college breaks despite having (quite literally) maybe 2-5 hours of actual on-road experience. She never even taught me how to parallel park or back into a space, both of which are required maneuvers on my state's test. Naturally I failed (3 times!) before I finally passed on my fourth try, after drilling everything with my father over and over.
As a result, I didn't get my license until age 22, which was extremely embarrassing. I managed to actually hide this fact from my boyfriend for over a year, which was easy since I didn't have my own car anyway, but he eventually found out. We live in a society where not having your license gives you a stigma and earns you strange looks, and that's tough when you're trying to get a job, too. Not long after I got my license and an old car, I was hit by a teenager who was speeding and texting. It was literally the first time I'd driven longer than 5 minutes on my own without anyone in the car, and it completely traumatized me. I've been terrified of accidents since I was a young child, so getting into an accident so soon after getting my license was devastating. It was the one thing I dreaded most, and it finally happened.
I've been driving a couple times since with passengers, but it's been months and I have yet to make another trip by myself in the car. I literally can't do it. I've tried sitting behind the wheel and turning the car on, but if someone's nearby in the parking lot, I can't bring myself to even back out of the space. I'm terrified of other drivers. I've tried to coach myself to do this in baby steps, saying, "Why don't you drive a simple 5 minutes down the road to that pretty park, and take a calming walk? Go at a time when there isn't much traffic." But I haven't been able to bring myself to do even that. I live right next to 3 highway entrances, so it's not easy to get places without a car, and this hasn't been helpful while I'm trying to find jobs that may require a 30-50 minute commute. I have frequent nightmares about driving, getting into accidents, or losing control of the car. My anxiety is at an all-time high in general (not just for driving) and I've begun getting horrible panic attacks again recently. I have a history of strong anxiety and some history of depresssion, and I think this is making my phobia of driving worse.
I just don't know how to overcome it, because I gain no confidence whenever I drive somewhere successfully with somebody. Nothing seems to help, and I can't afford to go to a therapist because I'm still job hunting, which requires that I'm able to drive to work. I know that the "obvious solution" is to just keep practicing until I get used to it, but it's like there is a huge wall there impeding me. I feel so ashamed, almost as bad as before. At least I have my license and a car now, but what's the point if I'm too afraid to drive? My boyfriend STILL has to drive me places as a result, and I'd rather take a taxi to go 10 minutes away instead of driving there myself. The fear is taking over a huge part of my life. I know this is an extremely long post, so thank you if you've actually read this far. Does anyone have any fresh ideas, or has anyone else encountered a similar overwhelming experience like this?