for one thing, i know sexual abuse hurts. this 29 year old man who was dating my cousin for over 2 years and we trusted him. like, no doubt. he molested me for over a month. i know its not a long time, but feelings developed for this man that i never thought could. i supposedly "loved" him... he called me peanut. said i was his girl. everything.... never threatened me, never. he tried to have sex with me about 2 weeks after this started. his penis was only half an inch away from me, too. i was fully exposed from the waist down. he was too. i wanted to, but knew i couldn't. so, he backed away. didn't force me, or anything. i didn't think what was going was all that bad... i mean, some girls out there find love with men around those ages.... i feel like i brought it on in ways, and i still say i did. my mom eventually found out, by reading my journals. she pressed charges, and i had to be interviewed by alot of cops and detectives. i hated it... now i go to therapy and in january i have to go to court. it feels like these feelings for this man will not fade, but i know that they will. and there are sunny days ahead. i just need and want support.
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