Im 30 and the love of my life is 35. He is a navy officer. We have been together for almost 7 years now. After The first 3 years he had to move to another country and since He did not feel ready to commit we agreed to continue and started this long distance relationship .. very hard but yet 100% worthy because I love this man more than my own life. This is the worst time of our relationship. He is out of the navy now. He suffers of depression.Already had some similar situations in his college years- He starting to dislike flying - which he has been doing all his life - he is now doubting on his choices, the path he chose, the decisions, Everything. He admits to be depressed and unhappy - he is overweight and now STUCK to a Good steady job that he Just accepted (a month ago) but he is starting to Hate. He dislikes the city where he must live for the job, he does not like to be away from "home" for so long, he is not satisfied of the salary, not happy about the future this may lead him to BUT Afraid to quit and give up on something so secure and steady as a government job is. He wants to change his life But he does not know what he wants and what to do to find happiness and peace. I am trying to be supportive, understanding, patient, not demanding .. i am putting aside our relationship issues and my needs just to give him the right time and space BUT IT KILLS ME INSIDE TO SEE HIM LIKE THIS AND THE WORST THING IS THE DISTANCE. We are not together because he is not sure about his feelings anymore and especially in this moment of life he does not want to ask me something so huge (that I would immediately do) like quit everything and move to this other part of the world just to be with him. He knows I would do it BUT it is not what He wants. I want to give him space and time but also and above all HELP AND SUPPORT. I suggested him real bad to see a counselor/professional help and he agreed with me BUT NOW WITH THIS JOB HE HAS ZERO TIME - It is true believe me he has NO time off - at least for these first 8 months of training. The problem is that He does not feel happy about anything else - he cannot find interest in anything, he cannot rest or even sleep well at night, his overweight upsets him a lot, he starts working out but then STRESS AND PRESSURE make him eat more and more and make him just lazy and stop his work out routine. He is very smart and beautiful person also cocky at times but lately noticing he is getting his self confidence lower and weaker. Our sexual life is suffering too. His lack of sex drive is now concerning me even more and I feel very very very sad- I want to do more but I dont know what. He does not "allow" me to be THERE with him and it kills me. It makes me upset bc sometimes he calls up and he complains of being alone far from friends and family and me. Especially during the holidays and It makes me feel really bad.
I also suggest him to start a spiritual path - "asking" God for help. I am a believer and I like to feel myself close to God - even just reading a few lines from the Bible. I dont know what else to do. I feel so scared for him and for us ;(
People I DO REALLY BEG YOU TO PROVIDE ME SOME INFORMATION, ADVICE, SUGGESTION ANYTHING WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
Thanks a lot in advance.
I also suggest him to start a spiritual path - "asking" God for help. I am a believer and I like to feel myself close to God - even just reading a few lines from the Bible. I dont know what else to do. I feel so scared for him and for us ;(
People I DO REALLY BEG YOU TO PROVIDE ME SOME INFORMATION, ADVICE, SUGGESTION ANYTHING WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
Thanks a lot in advance.
Hi Dreamer:) You remind me a lot of myself and I wish I had the perfect answer. I am in Indiana and was in a long distance relationship myself for almost nine years. He lived in Canada. So I DO know how hard that is.
I am a Christian and I know what it's like to be depressed and also be the frustrated one on the other end of the situation. I'm currently struggling with a lot in my life and when I get down, I need the people that love me the most to push because I don't like asking for help at all. I like to be the one that helps. Now, I don't know your man, and I think it's safe to say that us women and our men are like night and day. Men are so proud and if you can even get him to admit that he needs help, that's a great start! But if he's this down on himself, he needs to be reminded that God's on his side and loves him and all he has to do is ask to be lifted spiritually. What is his mind set as far as religion? It's hard for me to answer you without knowing that. I don't like to force my personal faith on someone who isn't open to it, y'know? But, if he is open I would personally get some uplifting scripture from Psalms (because psalms is full of great stuff) and I would write it down and send it to him. Just keep uplifting him in that way. A constant reminder is always helpful. But when you're in such a dark place (as I'm sure you know) unless you want to stay there, it's hard to let people help you.
I am a Christian and I know what it's like to be depressed and also be the frustrated one on the other end of the situation. I'm currently struggling with a lot in my life and when I get down, I need the people that love me the most to push because I don't like asking for help at all. I like to be the one that helps. Now, I don't know your man, and I think it's safe to say that us women and our men are like night and day. Men are so proud and if you can even get him to admit that he needs help, that's a great start! But if he's this down on himself, he needs to be reminded that God's on his side and loves him and all he has to do is ask to be lifted spiritually. What is his mind set as far as religion? It's hard for me to answer you without knowing that. I don't like to force my personal faith on someone who isn't open to it, y'know? But, if he is open I would personally get some uplifting scripture from Psalms (because psalms is full of great stuff) and I would write it down and send it to him. Just keep uplifting him in that way. A constant reminder is always helpful. But when you're in such a dark place (as I'm sure you know) unless you want to stay there, it's hard to let people help you.