I had read your sad post earlier and had no idea how to help you:(
But then i did some research on how you are feeling and found that you are probably suffering from high levels of aniexty.
Your thoughts are very strange and not familar to me, but there is this site i want you to check out and see if there is any help for you there.
This is the site:
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/weird-thoughts
I went straight on google and typed in your symptons and that's what came up, if this site feels useless to you then type in more personally stuff on google and there should be more helpful stuff that pops up.
I really hope i helped and I'm so sorry you are going through all of that...
Just know that you are definitately not alone and that they are people who would love to help you through this, I am one of them..so if you ever need to talk or any advice, I'll try my best to help you, love.
Goodluck & Godbless<3
I cannot diagnose you because there is not too much info but I am bipolar as well,.and it can be scary until you educate yourself more on the topic. The best thing to do is not associate yourself with any of the social stigmas that come along. I doubt you have psychosis haha :)
You may also have slight panic or amxiety disorder, its not uncommon.
Don't be afraid to ask a doc :)
Best of luck, lovey.