Could Your Child Be A Sociopath? Signs And What To Do?

Sometimes, you might worry that there's something "off" about your child. It might be something you can barely put your finger on, or perhaps you've noticed some streak of violence that makes an icy chill crystallize in your stomach. You may see your child twisting his little sister's arm violently, oblivious to her shrieks. You try and shake the feeling away. He was playing rough and didn't understand. But the chill remains. Does he often do it, when you're not looking?

Parents often fear when they see their child acting aggressively. They worry that it's a sign of a deeper, more troubling tendency towards cruelty.

We all know that all children can act aggressively. Many of these children will grow up to be perfectly nice, healthy adults. But what if your child's aggressiveness belies a cruel nature that could be a sign of something more than growing pains?

What if your child is a sociopath?

Let's explore the signs that often manifest in childhood.

Cruelty to Animals

Far more than cruelty to siblings, cruelty to animals is possibly the biggest sign of a potential sociopath. Hurting an animal is a sign that a child lacks empathy and is particularly concerning. There have been stories of children, later diagnosed as being sociopaths, throwing a beloved family-pet onto concrete from an apartment building, or hanging a pet from a tree for fun. Any child who would do such a thing needs immediate psychiatric help.

A child who fights his siblings - even to the point of physically hurting them - is probably a perfectly-normal child. A child who is cruel to animals is potentially-dangerous and needs help.

Disregard of the feelings of others

A normally-developing child will not walk over to a child they have never met, push them over for no reason, and then stand and watch unemotionally while they cry. A sociopathic child would. Sociopathic children lack empathy. They do understand that other people have feelings. However, they simply don't care.

This comes with a note, however. If you notice that your child appears unemotional and unempathetic, it may be worth testing them for autism. Autistic children genuinely can't understand the feelings of other people. It may be that your "sociopathic" child actually has a type of autism, especially if they don't show other signs of sociopathy.

Lack of guilt

If a sociopathic child pushes another child (known to them or not) off the top of a slide, and they fall and are injured, they will feel no guilt. Young children often act irrationally, and may push a child (and accidentally hurt them) to get to the front of a line. However, if a normally-developing child sees blood or tears, they will feel guilty and apologise (by patting the child or apologising verbally If they have the skills). A sociopathic child may be very verbal, but they won't apologise, because they simply don't feel guilty.

READ Are You Caught In A Web Of Lies? How To Spot A Pathological Liar

They show no emotion, except to manipulate

Returning to our example above: the sociopathic child pushed another child off the slide, causing blood and tears and showed no reaction. Now their mummy is over, and she is angry. "Look at what you've done!" she says, "You will go straight to bed when we get home, and stay there!"

Suddenly, the sociopathic child is in tears. Wailing hysterically, they apologise to the child they hurt and bury their head in their mother's lap, saying they love her. A second ago, the child had no emotion, now they're full to bursting with it. Such sudden displays are not uncommon in sociopathic children, however they lack any depth.

Signs Your Child May Be A Sociopath 

Stealing

Sociopaths are motivated by reward, and will steal to get the reward (money, toys, clothes), even if it hurts someone else. Persistent stealing is a key sign of sociopathy in children, especially if it progresses to burglary.

Persistent rule-breaking, with no regards for consequences

If your teenager is constantly breaking curfew and doesn't care about any threats of punishment ("if you stay out late again, you are grounded"), this could be a sign of sociopathy. Sociopaths simply don't care about rules. A capable child who refuses to study and so gets bad grades could also be a sociopath.

I think my child is a sociopath

In order to be diagnosed a sociopath, a child has to show three or more criteria in the past three months, and at least one of the criteria must have been present for six months. The only way a child can be officially diagnosed a sociopath is by a paediatric psychiatrist. Making things more complicated, teens with sociopathic symptoms are likely to be diagnosed as having Conduct Disorder until they reach adulthood.

What can I do?

You should begin by getting your child or teen into therapy. A qualified therapist will begin by performing impulse control therapy, as well as helping your child or teen to develop emotional regulation and empathy.

Try, too, to get your child engaged in a positive activity. A sport, where your child can focus their natural aggressive tendencies may be the ideal place to start. If you know your son enjoys football, get him onto a team and praise him for his effort in the sport. The more you notice his positive skills, the less he'll feel the need to rely on lawbreaking and manipulation to get what he wants.

Find a positive goal you can work on together. Say you have a fence that needs painting. Ask your child to help you for an hour, and offer to show your appreciation (remember, sociopaths work for rewards) by letting them choose a movie to rent (or another reward that they'd appreciate).

Aim to engage in eye-contact. Sociopaths naturally avoid eye-contact (which is essential to the development of empathy), but there is evidence that younger sociopaths who are encouraged to look their parents in the eye are less likely to go off the rails and may even develop a degree of empathy. So ask your child or teen to look you in the eye when they want to talk to you, then thank them for doing so.

Aim to end every interaction positively. If your child is about to storm out of the house yelling, "I hate you", try to look him in the eye and call, "See you later, honey." That reminds your teenager that they are loved and valued. Remember, sociopaths do understand emotion.

Do give consequences for bad behaviour. Sociopaths can learn to accept consequences if you begin at a young age. You must be consistent, and above all calm. You can't threaten to send a child to their room and then give in when they continue the behaviour. And you can't punish a sociopath for a behaviour one week and not punish them the next. Sociopaths are very smart, and they will outflank you given the chance. Consistency is key.

READ Help your children grow into a strong and stable person - build their self-esteem

Above all, do not ignore your child's problems or aim to reclassify them as depression or another mental health disorder that you find more palatable. If your child is sociopathic, they need to be treated appropriately. Avoiding the truth of the disorder will do more harm to your child and make it harder for them to fit into society.

Parenting a sociopathic child is tough. But with consistency and love, it is possible to improve the outcome for sociopathic children, and to raise them to become productive members of society.