Internet And Teenagers: Should Your Teen Be On Social Networks?

Ninety-five percent of American teens now have access to smartphones, and you can bet your bottom dollar that every last one of them uses those phones to access social media. Instagram. YouTube. Snapchat. Facebook. Reddit. Twitter. Discord. Skype. And, if you define "social media" as any platform where people share information (or misinformation) and opinions, every single online gaming platform where you can interact with people.

Whether you like it or not, social media is everywhere.

What do teenagers themselves think of social media?

Those teens who believe social media impacts their lives positively give the kinds of reasons you'd expect — these platforms allow them to stay in touch with their family and friends, enable them to talk to people with shared interests, and they provide entertainment. Teens also report that social media helps them keep up to date with the news and find information easily. 

Does that sound like teens were trying to convince adults that social media can be a force for good? It does, doesn't it? As adults, we'd probably evaluate our online experience in just about the same way, but we all know how easy it is to get trapped in online time-wasting and toxicity fests.

The reasons behind this "downvote" include:

• Cyber-bullying
• Rumor spreading
• Internet addiction
• Teens seeing things they're not ready for or simply don't want to see, including things of a graphic sexual nature

What parents should know about the benefits and risk of social media for their teenagers

Let's start with the positive impacts of social media — which you, as a parent, may lose sight off if you are frustrated with the fact that your teen is constantly glued to their computer or phone. 

• Research has shown that using social media can boost communication skills and even technical abilities.
• Because the internet makes it possible to socialize with people from all over the world, social media allows teens and adults alike to discuss shared interests with others who are just as passionate as they are (something that can be really, really nice for, say, a teen whose "IRL" friends just don't share their love of building model ships or early-edition Spider-Man comics).
• Social media can give your teenager a chance to play a more active role in the community by facilitating things like raising money for charity and finding out about local music festivals and political events. For the skeptic in you, yes, some teens absolutely do use social media for charitable purposes! Social media is even a good place to gain empathy for a plight or marginalized group of people, after which real action can follow.
• Teens further find, in social media, a platform to express themselves creatively during a crucial point in their identity formation. Teenagers get to share their interests and their creations — whether in the form of drawings, music, short stories, coding skills, or anything else — and get feedback from more experienced people. This can be especially valuable to teenagers with a lacking "in real life" social network". 

There's a darker side, too, however, as almost all teens who use social media will inevitably have noticed. 

• Forty-nine percent of teens have been exposed to "people being hateful, racist, or sexist" in online gaming experiences alone, research reveals. This negative social media exposure can range from drive-by nasty comments that can nonetheless have a negative impact, to statements directed specifically at your teen. That's where it descends into cyber-bullying, which can leave just as much of a harmful mark on a teen's mental health as in-person bullying.
• Sexual predators are on the extreme end of the "bad" spectrum that every parent fears, but they can and do lurk around online places where teens congregate, whether it's in games or on Facebook. Sexual abuse can take place on the internet in the form of webcam use, but a small portion of teenagers may also end up meeting a predator in person. 
• During a time in life where young people start being interested in dating and sex, so-called "sexting" — messages with sexual content — can also pose a real danger, both in terms of the potential for a teen to be pressurized into sending such messages and the consequences hitting that "send" button can have. When a teen's explicit messages end up doing their rounds through a peer group, it can be extremely embarrassing, not to mention that it can get them into trouble with school and even the law. Since we all know online content can have a rather long lifespan, the naive things teenagers get into on the internet can even haunt them as they apply for college or try to find a job later in life.

Social media: What you should talk about with your teen

Here's what definitely to discuss, ideally before your teen hits the web. (If they're already active on the internet, your teen will probably laugh at your "outdated" notions of what online life constitutes; grit your teeth and talk to them anyway.)

1. People on the internet lie

The internet is an ideal platform for spreading lies. That includes fake news, which can give teens some really weird ideas about the world, but also predators. First, "that boy from the school across town" may seem totally cool, but then when they want to meet up with you, it turns out that he's really a 50-year-old creep. 

2. Cyberbullies and trolls

Under a bridge? Nope, trolls' natural habitat is the world wide web, and cyber bullies are never far behind. Some are "randos", strangers you'll never meet in real life and who don't have a clue who you are, but others may be that mean classmate hiding behind a veil of anonymity to say you look bad in one of your Instagram photos, or even that the world would be better if you weren't in it. Minorities, like LGBT teens, black teens, or disabled teens, may be especially vulnerable, but nobody is exempt. 

Your teen should know that they can use the block function, make a new account, or stop using a social platform, as well as that they can report bullying to you and in some cases even the police. 

3. Your child may see stuff they just weren't ready for

The myriad of inappropriate things lurking on the web and social media can seemingly jump up out of nowhere. From the obligatory "d*ck pic" sent by that "nice guy" from martial arts, to homophobic or transphobic comments (see "cyberbullies and trolls"), to graphic content, your child will almost definitely come across things that can never be unseen sooner or later, so you should prepare your teenager for the possibility.

Keep in mind that your teenager may not only passively stumble across things that then shock them. They may also actively look for, well, let's just say "inappropriate content". Get real and think back — you were a curious teenager once too. If you had access to the internet at that time, you probably used it. If you didn't, you probably would have if the internet was part of your life then. Let your teen know that they can still come to you to discuss things that upset them, even if they were breaking the rules. 

4. Your child may put information out there they really regret later

Once it's online, it's probably not going away. Even if you delete it, people might have taken a screenshot and could continue to spread your picture or post. That can have consequences now, as well as later. "Later" may seem like a distant concept for someone so young, but time flies, and by the time a potential employer sees that d*ck pic, your teen won't be having fun.

5. Your teen may BE a cyberbully

Never assume that your child "would never do that". They could be just getting revenge on that one person who posted nasty comments, in their mind, without really realizing they've turned into a cyberbully. Or they could be fully aware of what they're doing, usually under the guise of "trolling".

Teenagers might bully people online because they have issues at school and online is the only place where they can take out their anger. You should also talk to your teen about this, so that they know it isn't really the right thing to do.