Warning: Don't End Up In The Nursing Home From Hell

Nursing homes are, in short, residences for people who can no longer manage their daily tasks at home and who need some form of assistance with day-to-day activities. Both the atmosphere and available help vary greatly from nursing home to nursing home. Nursing homes can be wonderful, nurturing places where your needs are met almost completely with both kindness and compassion, or they can be clinical and impersonal places where you feel more like a vegetable than an actual person. 

Luckily, you can prepare in advance to make sure you find the best possible nursing home for yourself, or your loved ones. With enough research and information into the nursing homes near you, you'll be able to live live to the fullest.

Make A List Of Your Options

When it became clear that my aging parents could no longer manage at home, even with the help my sisters and I tried our best to provide them, we started looking into the nursing homes in our area together. My parents were no longer mobile enough to research and tour nursing homes themselves, so we were their "eyes and ears". They had, however, already seen quite a few nursing homes before: when you get older, you tend to have friends in these places. They knew which homes had terrible reputations — and should therefore be avoided at all costs — and which ones provided homely and supportive environments.

Together, my sisters and  I, made a list of nursing home options. We started with eliminating homes my parents knew they definitely didn't want to live in, including ones where couples could not stay together. Once we had a list of possibilities, we went to investigate the nursing homes further, and in-person. That was a multi-step process, which took a surpsringly long time. We toured homes, picked the staff's brains, talked to current residents, and looked at the infrastructure. We wanted a nursing home close enough for my sisters and I to visit on a frequent basis, one that would enable my parents to stay with their GP, and one that made travel to and from a nearby hospital possible.

Before you make your list, you will probably find it helpful to consider what is most important to you in a nursing home. This may include things like:

• Specialist care
• Household help
• Shared religious beliefs
• Activities for residents
• Meals
• Hospice care
• Counseling services
• Alzheimer's care

See Also: How To Keep An Eye On Your Family Member In A Nursing Home

Touring The Home

To tour a home, simply contact the administrative department and ask if you can see the facilities. Before going ahead, you'll want to ask if the home has a waiting list, and if so how long you may have to wait before a space becomes available. Then, when you tour nursing homes, you will want to get a good general feel for the atmosphere of the home and available facilities. Here are some things you might want to look out for. 

Steps Towards Choosing A Good Nursing Home

The Facilities

Seniors who are still independent and quite healthy will probably want to avoid rooms where multiple residents room in together. These homes don't usually enable couples to live together either. Homes where you'll have an independent living space still offer enormously varying facilities, however. They can range from free-standing little bungalows to single rooms with a bathroom attached.

My parents wanted to take as much of their own familiar furniture and belongings with them as they could. They ended up with the biggest apartment type their home had: a living room and two bedrooms. The second bedroom allowed us, kids, to stay overnight with them as the declined. This was very comforting. The also had a little kitchen, where they could cook independently. Their front door opened into the nursing home, so staff could access them easily. They were on the ground floor with a backdoor and a little garden too. It was a pretty ideal arrangement, really.

Besides the actual living space, you will also want to inquire about:

• Food. Can you cook independently if you want to? Is there a collective dining room or restaurant if you want some company? What's on the menu?
• Does the nursing home have a store? A hair dressing salon? 
• What activities are offered? My parents' home had activities like fitness, board games, concerts, poem recitals, and crafting. After my dad passed away, these activities meant a lot to my mom.
• What is available in the area surrounding the nursing home? Can you or loved-ones easily reach the home with public transport? How about parking spaces? And stores?
• Are there set visiting hours or will you be able to decide when you have guests over by yourself?
• Will you need to do your own laundry, or are facilities available?

The Staff

Some nursing homes offer specialist nursing care that can help you with your personal hygiene needs and administering any medications you take. In some cases, your space is kept clean, while other homes need you to organize cleaning independently. Some homes have doctors on staff, while others don't. These are all things you will want to know as much as possible about:

• How much day-to-day help is available, and how soon after you alert staff will the generally come?
• Do staff "make their rounds" to check on residents a few times a day?
• Are hospice facilities available on-site so you won't have to move again if your health deteriorates?
• How friendly are the staff? What procedures are in place to prevent abuse? (It happens, sadly.) Is there a residents' association where you can make your voice heard?

Questioning staff will allow you to get a good impression, but you will also want to talk to current residents, without the presence of staff. Ask if they can organize this. Once you think you like a nursing home, return for a second, unannounced visit to see if you still like it as much as you initially did. 

See Also: Exercise and Physical Activity for Older Adults

Finances

The financial options you have depend on where you live to a great extent. You may have access to state-funded facilities, privately paid facilities, or facilities funded by long-term care insurance, if you have it. In any case, you will want to be fully informed in advance.