Spine and Neck Pain. Legitimately prescribed from my neurosurgeon for pain. I get 180 a week.
I have been on Norco/Vicodin/Lortab etc for almost 2 years now.
Currently I have been taking between 18-22 5/325 Norco a day. Yes, for pain but obviously with this do it myself dosage
it's also just for the benefit of euphoria. It has gotten out of
control. I usually don't even know how many I take. All I know is I had a
bottle of 45 on Friday midday filled and now I have none.
I had my last four last night about 10:00pm. I am currently in Hell, Hell that includes pain both physical and mental. It SUCKS!
Every
part of my body hurts and burns on a scale of 10. My back feels like it
is breaking from the outside in. My head hurts, my bones in my hand are
in excruciating pain just typing this. I am sweating and then I start
freezing. I feel like the back of my neck is so tense that it's going to
some off. I want to sleep but I am wide awake. I am so blurry and
unfocused that I am chugging Cherry Coke trying to "wake up." Is this
what slowly dying feel like?
I am well aware NOW that the pills
don't get me high anymore, they just make me feel functional. I am up to
five pills at a time and I know soon it will go up. That scares me. I
can't keep doing this.
I purposely didn't get a refill yesterday
so I could get "clean" and start to wean off them and go back to two
every four hours. Haha. Is this even possible? How do people do that?!
I
have taken 8 Loperamide and two Dayquil to try to ease the pain and
trick my body into feeling better. getting any benzo for anxiety is not
possible. Any other ideas and things I can do to ease this Hell?
Also
any info on weaning myself down tomorrow when I refill AND info on self
control. Not letting the drug trick me into thinking, "Just a couple
more and you'll feel great."
Thanks.
Unfortunatly you can't trick your body into feeling something that it is so used to having. I know how it can be to be addicted to something and having loved ones addicted to pain medication my advice to you then is if you have a loved one or someone you trust who does not take them, hold them for you and give you a reasonable dosage. I understand that you may not want to quit but if you have no self control entrust in someone who does. That way your medication can last longer before you run out and possibly lower your tolerance to maybe quitting in the future. Also if you can get a hold of suboxine that may help with the withdrawel.