I have experience on most of all scenario's. I had my first baby when I was 16, I got pregnant at 15 years old. I kept him and never regretted it one day of my life. I had his brother 3.5 years later when I was 19 and now they are 10 and 13.5 years old. Yes there were times when I struggled, and times when I was extremely blessed. This is life, you only have one to live and soon one day you will grow old. I had an abortion between the two when I was 18 and the guilt blessed me with my second son. I am now 29 years old and have two of the best friends I will always have in my life, we grew together and will continue to do so. The father and I are not together and as I look at, marriage and money doesnt garuntee happiness nor does it garuntee that you will not find struggles in life. We as women are the only ones to make this delicate choice and how a man treats you should be irrelevent because in the end that is your child and men are never garunteed to stick around. Y kill your child over a man? The reason I say this is at 29 earlier this year in August I found my self pregnant with my fiancee. I thought he was going to be happy, even though we didnt plan this pregnancy we did talk about it sometimes to have a baby next year. He was mean, told me to have an abortion and even forced me to go ahead and do it by basically emotionally abusing me until I broke. I was scared to death how I was going to take care of the baby financially, as I was on the verge of homelessness. I immediatly regretted it and to make matters worse they left fetal parts in me and I had to go back to the hospital for a second d&c. When I saw the scan and seen my empty uterous I was filled with regret, I felt that I killed my baby over money. I began working again and when I bought everything I wanted and didnt feel stress of a new baby..I realized that material possessions were not making me happy and I made a very bad decision. When I recalculated everything out I realized I COULD of made it financially with the baby even if i had to stay in a shelter for a little while to do so. I killed my child, I looked at my two older sons who were old enough to understand what was going on and were quite upset that I murdered thier little brother or sister. They asked me why they had a right to live and thier sibling didnt. I realized that day, that I am not god and the pregnancy was a miracle since we were not trying. Well afterwards I had terrible nightmares of my baby, I named her and I spent many nights up just crying myself back to sleep. The regret hit him as well. I was leaving to texas with my two sons and we had goodbye sex. I got pregnant again (currently 5 weeks) and I am the happiest person alive. No my situation has not changed so much in the past 6 months. But what I know now is that I can make it, through prayer and being patient with my self. No one is expected to be a perfect mother, and trust me when you are older you will not only hopefully have grandchildren but also be blessed with children to help you as you age and prepare to leave this earth. Money is not everything, you may not have it right now..but rest assure I didnt at 15 and now my oldest son is preparing to go to school to be a doctor. I would of never though in a million years that I would give birth to a human who would then save other humans lives. I do feel like abortion is a hard decision and if there is an ounce of hesitation, time spent crying then please DONT DO IT. This is your life and you have the right to chose how you want to live it, but you dont want to be stuck with decades of regret. I am lucky to be able to be pregnant again as I have three close friends one of whom is completely infertile after one abortion. And the other two have been trying for over 2-3 years with no sucessful pregnancies after thier abortions. I thank god everyday that he gave me a second chance. I am not perfect, none of us are. and if there is a will there is a way. To all of the mothers in thier 30s considering abortions with no prior children. Please stop and THINK hard. It is already hard to get pregnant in your 30s you do nothing but get older faster in theat decade and fertility declines so rapidly. I had a friend who was very fertile had her 3rd child by 29 and then 34 she is not able to concieve anymore out of the blue. I have an older sister who wasted her fertile years trying to find a good husband and now she is childless and miserable. NO MAN IS WORTH LOSING YOUR FERTILITY, BABY OR CHANCE TO HAVE GOOD EGGS FOR. Men come and go, your CHILDREN are forever. Even if it seems hard, please take your time. Once you get to the abortion clinic they pass you around like a dog. When I voiced that I was sure, they hurried me to the back and did the procedure. If you get the cold feeling. LEAVE. PLEASE GET UR SELF UP AND LEAVE. One ounce of doubt is enough to cause severe emotional damage to your self. that may never go away.
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My friend had an abortion today, she was nine weeks, so I googled nine week abortion so I could learn more about what she may be going through. I stumbled upon this site. I realize it's four years old, but I have to say to kljvdsiu, what do you know about life at the tender age of 19? (now at 23 you may know a bit more...) There is nothing easy about abortion, I saw how my friend struggled, just as BabyCay did...I would not call what my friend went through making this decision, or what she went through today or the next few days or however long it takes her to process this EASY. And...you are judging her. You sound very judgmental and well...young. Raising children is terribly hard, and frankly, not for everyone. BabyCay has to think of herself and the child she ALREADY has. A nine week fetus doesn't have a place in the world, just a tiny spot in the womb. The impact on BabyCay and her daughter would be huge if she ends up being a single parent to two children, not to mention the impact on the new baby. I feel for all women in this situation. As women, our choices are never easy. And who are you to speak the future thoughts of BabyCay's daughter?! Seriously...how do you know her daughter "will never forgive her"?? Getting an abortion and sparing her daughter further poverty and having to share her stressed-out mother's time and attention after she slaves away at a low-paying job every day with a sibling, might actually make her daugher grateful that her mom chose abortion. Ever consider that perspective? My mom had an abortion when she was 35 and I was only ten. She was also around the nine week mark. Looking back, it was the right choice. It was her choice, and I'm so glad she made it. We were poor, the baby's father was a pervert that was always "walking in" on me and our already compromised lives would have been just miserable. After the abortion, my mom got rid of the boyfriend, got a better job and we moved away. Sure, she had some sad feelings, but overall felt she did the right thing for US. When a woman already has kid/s, she must also make a choice with them in mind as well. That's what being a parent is, you are never first anymore, you must always consider your kids first, and sometimes having another one is NOT best for you or the kids you've already got. Sorry if that's cold, but the truth usually is. I'm glad your sister has found happiness, according to you, in being a young, single parent, but many people do not. And here's some judgment thrown your way, a 15 year old kid has absolutely no business becoming a parent. I know there are some people that have been good parents even at a very young age, but honestly, it's not an optimal thing to be doing...Once you have a baby, where you are in life is pretty much where you're going to stay, it is so hard to move up without A LOT of help from others. A fetus is better off not being born, than to be brought into a bad, dismal situation that is unlikely to change. Take a look at the foster care system. The horrors most of those children have had to endure, makes me beg to differ the pro-lifer slogan "life what a beautiful choice".That's what the pro-life "baby savers" never consider: What happens to all of these "saved" fetuses once they are born? Many go on to live awful lives, many others do not, I realize, but many do. I hope BabyCay made the right choice for herself and her daughter and their shared situation. I hope she's happy and found peace, as I also hope this for my friend who carried out her choice today.
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Dear, if you are considering abortion, don't abort. Sometimes, after a procedure, a woman will come to regret it and this can lead to problems in her life (depression, flashbacks to the procedure, ect.) Instead, go see your local crisis pregnancy center for advice on what to do with the child. They have people there you can talk to about your options and they can help you find the right one that works for you. Plus they also have free resources for mothers in need, like diapers and bibs. You can just do a quick Google search to see if there are any centers in your area. Good luck!
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