My daughter is only 9 years old, while doing her laundry tonight I noticed she had some spotting on a pair of her underwear. Shes only 9 years old, is this her period or something else!?
The biggest question is does she have breast buds? IF so then more than likely it is her period coming on - or showing signs of coming on in the near future! Younger and Younger girls are getting periods, and it is becoming VERY difficult for the medical community and the child to deal with! NOW IF she doesn't have breast buds, or even underarm or pelvic hair, then some investigation has to be done! BUT let's cross that bridge when and if we need to OK? Has she been emotional, tired, even hungrier than usual!?
But she's only 9! I can't even fathom that happening to a 9 year old! I haven't even had that conversation with her yet!
She does wear a training bra that I've gotten for her, she doesn't really have much though really, it was more for her to get use to it and to start feeling comfortable, and privacy when changing for gym class at school. But she does wear one.
I don't really think she does have any underarm hair, pelvic hair I have no idea.
She seems to be herself, maybe a little bit different but I kind of thought that to be more about boredom of school or something. Shes not even big at all, perfect weight for her age and she is active in soccer and healthy.
It just took me by surprise and I'm not even sure how to really broach the subject with her. And I hope for her its not her period, I was 14 when I had mine.
She does wear a training bra that I've gotten for her, she doesn't really have much though really, it was more for her to get use to it and to start feeling comfortable, and privacy when changing for gym class at school. But she does wear one.
I don't really think she does have any underarm hair, pelvic hair I have no idea.
She seems to be herself, maybe a little bit different but I kind of thought that to be more about boredom of school or something. Shes not even big at all, perfect weight for her age and she is active in soccer and healthy.
It just took me by surprise and I'm not even sure how to really broach the subject with her. And I hope for her its not her period, I was 14 when I had mine.
I am not alone with believing that girls AND boys are hitting puberty SO young - due to hormones in our food! My God Daughter started her period at 10, there is another downside to this (that doctors haven't crossed yet) is the toll it takes on young girls bodies! We are born with a certain amount of eggs - and if you base puberty on the approximate age of 13 then those eggs start "expiring" in the mid to late 40's! So what is going to happen with ALL these younger girls and their fertility etc.?!
I know this is shocking for you, BUT I would like her to get checked out by a doctor - just to make sure that this blood IS from a period! There are medications that can stop the menses, but I am VERY hesitant to give such a young girl concentrated hormones! And IF she is starting her periods, then it is probably best to let the process continue!
Even though it's a tough position to be in, I would just sit with her - do something like arts and crafts, read, or whatever else you both do together! This takes away that INTENSE uncomfortable talk - remember when our parents tried to have the talk and EVERYONE in the room was mortified? She needs to know that this is NO biggy and you and her can start a very easy way of discussing her health etc. And while you are both doing something together you could say something like "Honey, when you go to the toilet have you noticed a bit of red on your underpants? Or when you wipe?" Go from her reply - just breathe and go along with the flow of the conversation, IF she stops and just walks off (probably not the time to bring it up) BUT if she says "Yes what is that?" then it's time to start talking about changes - you don't have to be deep about it! Just say that young girls start a thing called a period, and they have a different blood (and also UNDERLINE that this is NOT regular blood, say it is a "special blood only for girls") and that this special blood happens for a couple of days every month! And it is TOTALLY normal and that it just means that she is growing up into a healthy young girl! Really underline the normalcy of this and that it is TOTALLY natural! Once she has absorbed that then you can go onto what she will need to use etc. BUT she just needs to go to the doctors first for a check up that all young girls go for etc.
I DON'T want the doctor looking at her genitalia - there is no need! BUT she should have a urine culture test - just to make sure this isn't a urinary/bladder infection, and a hormone blood check - just to see what's going on inside her body! With the conversation ask her if she has any short hairs under her arms or anywhere else? Tell her that this is normal too! I also want you to ask her if it hurts when she goes pee, or sits down? This will also help the doctor in determining what is going on!
I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't ask you if she has been hurt down there? I know this is a VERY touchy subject and please know that I TRULY believe that it is either her periods starting or a urinary tract infection! BUT is there anyway she has been touched inappropriately? OR perhaps - even though this is VERY uncomfortable ask her if she special touches herself? And has she ever hurt herself? Also at the same time perhaps ask if anyone has touched her special places before? Let's get this worked out first OK? IF it is from self touch - then she needs to know that she needs to be more gentle with it! And act like you have never acted before honey! She needs to feel TOTALLY comfortable about this subject so she CAN say something or ask questions!
I know this is a hard thing honey and BIG hugs! BUT she will be self touching - and probably has for years - but as the hormones start building and going up and down, she might be taking it up to the next level! And she needs to know that there is NOTHING wrong with self touch but as long as she is not using anything or hurting herself! And the first question needs to be asked about IF she knows she is TOTALLY normal, and we just need to get to the bottom of WHY she is bleeding, then we can go from there! So ask her if it hurts to pee, ask her if her pee smells bad, ask her if she's noticed the "special blood" and how long and also is it there EVERYTIME she goes to the bathroom? Ask her if her lower tummy has been hurting, and if her chest hurts!? And let that be the start! I will be checking throughout the night, and tommorrow morning! I am sending you out strength and love! and just know you can cry on my shoulder or ask questions OK? good luck honey!
Thank you so very much for your reply!
I thought I had a few more years before I had to have the talk with her! She's my first born beauty, so it is a first for me also! And boy am I not ready! lol My parents were not that open with me, and they never did talk to me about puberty and such. So for my daughters sake I do want to be open with her so she's aware and informed.
I did ask her this morning how she was feeling, just trying to get something from her, and she said "fine" of course!! lol And I did take a look at her laundry and there was nothing, so I'm not sure what to think.
Your suggestions are great! She loves to bake with me, so maybe I will send my husband out with the boys tomorrow and try and talk with her. Now, if she does happen to walk off on me, I do what exactly!? And if you don't mind me asking, how did your God Daughter deal with getting her period at such a young age?
I never even thought that it could possible be a UTI or bladder infection! She hasn't complained of any pain or anything though. I did teach her to wipe from front to back! But a good thing to look into.
And no, I don't believe she has been hurt, or that anyone has hurt her. A good girlfriend of mine takes care of my kids before and after school.
And I'm not sure I'm prepared for any masturbation talk! That one will be hard!
But thank you so much! I will try and talk with her tomorrow night! After all this I kind of hope it is her period and nothing more. Shes still my baby girl to me!
I thought I had a few more years before I had to have the talk with her! She's my first born beauty, so it is a first for me also! And boy am I not ready! lol My parents were not that open with me, and they never did talk to me about puberty and such. So for my daughters sake I do want to be open with her so she's aware and informed.
I did ask her this morning how she was feeling, just trying to get something from her, and she said "fine" of course!! lol And I did take a look at her laundry and there was nothing, so I'm not sure what to think.
Your suggestions are great! She loves to bake with me, so maybe I will send my husband out with the boys tomorrow and try and talk with her. Now, if she does happen to walk off on me, I do what exactly!? And if you don't mind me asking, how did your God Daughter deal with getting her period at such a young age?
I never even thought that it could possible be a UTI or bladder infection! She hasn't complained of any pain or anything though. I did teach her to wipe from front to back! But a good thing to look into.
And no, I don't believe she has been hurt, or that anyone has hurt her. A good girlfriend of mine takes care of my kids before and after school.
And I'm not sure I'm prepared for any masturbation talk! That one will be hard!
But thank you so much! I will try and talk with her tomorrow night! After all this I kind of hope it is her period and nothing more. Shes still my baby girl to me!
If it helps any, I got mine at nine, as did my grandmother. It started out as spotting, and over the next few months developed into a heavier flow.
You're welcome honey! I have 2 boys and this is me when they would talk about "making things dance,,," :-D I would just sit there smiling and all of a sudden I was like "Say something!" so I would tell them that this was a personal thing, and they should do it behind closed doors and it was TOTALLY natural etc.! Then I ran downstairs going "Oh my God Oh my God.... " and phoned my husband LOL! NOW I think of myself as the more "Mature" one of the relationship this is my husband IF the boys talk about sex :-| LOL So coming from a family that would slap me over the head if I said the word "sextet" I always promised myself that I would be open about sex and my kids could come to me about ANYTHING! And BOY have they ever! LOL It is just a regular thing now, IF they have questions they just fire away and I breathe, hide my hands from shaking, and just do a stupid smile and answer what they need to know! They walk off thinking I'm TOTALLY FINE with this - little do they know!!! LOL BUT I would rather them knowing the truth and not getting their information - which is usually WAY off base - from their buds! In fact many of there friends have come to me with questions - which I just answer as respectuflly as I can!
If I were in your spot, when you are baking with her, I would just say "So honey I was washing your clothes the other day and noticed a bit of blood on some of them, do you know where that was from?" You need an answer to this, so gently insist on an answer. IF she answers you and it sounds like a good explanation - like she hurt herself etc. Then that's the end of it! IF she states that she has noticed this and it comes from her peepee, then it's time to take it a bit further! And IF she walks off then just say, "honey this is kind of important so we just need to talk about this then we can finish baking ok?" So while something is in the oven, then this would be the time to explain things! With regards to masturbation just say "Did you hurt yourself when you were just touching yourself?" IF she say "WHAT?! What do you mean" DROP IT DROP IT!!! LOL IF she says "yes" or "no" then this was a GREAT first time opening that door to talk about this - kind of like "Oh mum knows about that too!!"
IF she says she has noticed this and it might hurt, this is the time to bring up about not to be frightened, use words like - normal, fine, OK, growing up, natural etc. Just remember to keep your cool and just be totally normal with this! Later you can have a shot of tequila!!!! LOL My girlfriend was FREAKED out about it! and there was MANY a phonecall between she and I with regards to my god daughter! And the calmest one WAS my god daughter! LOL We were stressing SO much about what she was going to be going through and bless her she just handled it like a champ!
The big thing here honey is this! Virtually EVERY woman on this planet has been through this, and to have an open and honest and totally natural relationship with your daughter about all of this will be SO rewarding to your future relationships! As you stated about your homelife, wouldn't you have loved to be able to go up to your mom and ask the questions that were on your mind!? Thinking you were the only one etc. - which is a lonely thing indeed! And also don't think of it as masturbation - I've ALWAYS hated that word, just think of it as pleasure touch or self touch! And as long as she knows that that is normal also, she will have a good solid sexual base - that is healthy and honest!
Let me know how you make out OK? And like I said I'm on here usually! And like Kris said too - many women have had their periods young! It is more about how WE deal with it, that is the most important thing!
Thank you so much for your help! After talking with her tonight, I believe it may be her period.
And your right, doing something instead of talking face to face is much easier, for the both of us! Where is our parent manual for this kind of stuff!? lol I told her how while doing her laundry the other day I noticed some blood on a pair of her underwear, and asked if she knew what it was from. She looked a bit mortified lol and had no response, so I just told her it was okay, and how I think she may have started her period. And then from there she was more open into talking about it. So she says its not there every time she goes to the bathroom, and that it only happened a few times a few days ago. It pretty much is just spotting and not a full blown period. Theres no pain when she goes to the bathroom, or in general really. I asked her why she didn't come to me and tell me, and she said she was scared there was something wrong with her, so I told her how nothing is wrong with her and its normal and such, and said how she can come to me with anything. So she said it just kind of happened one day, where she went to use the washroom and noticed it was there. I asked if there's anyway she could have hurt herself down there and she said no. So, looks like its her period coming on. So I asked her if she wanted to go to the store with me after baking and so she did. Thankfully they make products for young girls! We also talked about using deodorant, not that she has body ordor now, but I'm assuming soon she will, so she was all excited to be using that. Of course we talked a bit more, but that was the gist of it.
I'm not a fan of her growing up so soon! Where has my baby gone!?
Also, do you still think I should be taking her to the doctors? Given it is just her period and nothing more? I just don't want to embarrass her in any way, or talking as if its a concern or something. How would I go about bringing it up to the doctor?
And your right, doing something instead of talking face to face is much easier, for the both of us! Where is our parent manual for this kind of stuff!? lol I told her how while doing her laundry the other day I noticed some blood on a pair of her underwear, and asked if she knew what it was from. She looked a bit mortified lol and had no response, so I just told her it was okay, and how I think she may have started her period. And then from there she was more open into talking about it. So she says its not there every time she goes to the bathroom, and that it only happened a few times a few days ago. It pretty much is just spotting and not a full blown period. Theres no pain when she goes to the bathroom, or in general really. I asked her why she didn't come to me and tell me, and she said she was scared there was something wrong with her, so I told her how nothing is wrong with her and its normal and such, and said how she can come to me with anything. So she said it just kind of happened one day, where she went to use the washroom and noticed it was there. I asked if there's anyway she could have hurt herself down there and she said no. So, looks like its her period coming on. So I asked her if she wanted to go to the store with me after baking and so she did. Thankfully they make products for young girls! We also talked about using deodorant, not that she has body ordor now, but I'm assuming soon she will, so she was all excited to be using that. Of course we talked a bit more, but that was the gist of it.
I'm not a fan of her growing up so soon! Where has my baby gone!?
Also, do you still think I should be taking her to the doctors? Given it is just her period and nothing more? I just don't want to embarrass her in any way, or talking as if its a concern or something. How would I go about bringing it up to the doctor?
No I think she's fine - IF she starts hurting etc. then I would, but for now you are the specialist of this! And for sure it's hard to loose her to the dark side!!! LOL BUT the good thing she doesn't have an IDEA of what's coming!!! ;-D Just kidding you! LOL
I don't VERY much this is going to be a big deal for awhile, as this has happened pretty quickly - without what older girls go through (hormones etc)! Now I will tell you some tips - having gone through this with 2 of my god daughters and friends who have girls who told me what went on! So a friends daughter got a tampon and folded it up and put it horizontal - she was VERY uncomfortable bless her! She didn't know how to use one and saw commericals etc. So my girlfriend just showed her how to use a pad! As this was about 3 years ago now - so she was 12. And they decided that she wouldn't wear tampons till she was older and more able to handle it! and I know that you have already crossed this off in your mind, so for now just show her how to put a pad on her underpants, and to throw away the papers. And then roll it up after and to throw it away WRAPPED etc. Just the small things that we don't think about!
GREAT idea about the deodorant, have her starting to bathe/shower EVERY day and help her with eating healthy etc. As I am pretty sure she will start having acne soon - and she will also start sweating more! Maybe not right now but it WILL happen! So the more prepared she is the better! I'm glad it went smooth for you! Have you told your husband or are you afraid he's going to run away?! LOL I tell ya for the dirty guys they can be, when it comes to their children they are prudes!!! LOL
well usually ur supposed 2 tell ur daughters around age 8 , dats wen my mom told me about it but she also gave meh dis book about puberty and changes as i get older .
My daughter is ten years old and she just recently started her period and her cousin started at nine as well
:-Dhow a 9 year old
hi, i came accross this conversation while i was doing some research on the web about 8 year olds and periods... you seem to have a lot of good advice so i have to ask this question... is it really normal for an 8 year old to start her period?? i was also doing laundry this morning, and picked up a pair of my daughters pants and in them noticed what looked like dark blood in her underwear. i don't really know it's hard for me to tell, or maybe i'm just in denial.. i'm a mother of four, i have three girls and one boy. my oldest is ten and is a girl and she hasn't started her period or has had any signs that i've noticed... i was kind of a late bloomer, i didn't start till i was 14. what do i do? i'm freakin out over here! my husbad is not good with dealing with girl stuff, all he had to say was " she better not start her peroid " LOL... like she can controll that.. anyway any advice would be much appriciated... oh and one more thing, this morning when she got up for school she said that she peed a lil in her sleep.. i assured her that it was ok, and to leave her clothes on the bathroom floor so i could wash them. so i know that it was her underwear, and not my other daughters. cause i also thought that maybe it was my older daughters and maybe she tryed to hide the underwaer cause she was embarrassed... ( my daughters wear the same size clothes, my oldest is very small for her age)
i started mine when i was nine my daughter screemed from the bathroom and there was blood on her paper.. i had already had a talk with her because i noticed changes in her body.. but its very light.. is it really her period
My baby which is about to be nine just started spotting I'm so freaked out I don't know what to do