Have you talked this over with your soon-to-be husband?
Did something happen to you when you were younger that has made you so afraid?
I'm also afraid of the first time I have sex, though I'd prefer it to be making love. I am so afraid that if I'm touched a certain way that I'll flashback to what happened when I was a baby and young child; a child's mind is very effective at erasing such traumatic memories. I'm afraid that I will not only scare myself, but scare my partner away and he won't want to be with such damaged goods.
I am hoping my future partner will love me for me and will be understanding and compassionate towards me if that does happen; that he won't force me into doing anything I'm not comfortable with doing. I'm also hoping your husband is the same way.
Good luck and all the best.
I hope I helped.