My boyfriend and i have been going out for a year and a half and hes been living with me and my family for over 10 months now.
basically the other night we had an argument and i went downstairs to cool off, when i came bk up at about 11pm he was on his xbox oblivious to the fact i was upset and angry with him. i was standing by my door crying and he was xbox ignoring me...i was winding myself up because of this and completely went mental, i threw my chair at him, smacked my head agaist my wardrobe a few times, ripped a handful of hair out and thats when my parents got me... i couldnt breath properly and he was still on xbox...
we worked it out after he called me a physco b***h but from now on when ever he slightly annoys me i get wound up and phycke out (sorry about spelling) this is getting bad because hes starting to retalliate and hurt me back to teach me a lesson as i often give him bad bruises.
i keep saying i need help to my mum but she wont agree and i dnt know what to do... please help :-( :-(
I really love him and dont want to put him in hospital if it gets out of hand.
basically the other night we had an argument and i went downstairs to cool off, when i came bk up at about 11pm he was on his xbox oblivious to the fact i was upset and angry with him. i was standing by my door crying and he was xbox ignoring me...i was winding myself up because of this and completely went mental, i threw my chair at him, smacked my head agaist my wardrobe a few times, ripped a handful of hair out and thats when my parents got me... i couldnt breath properly and he was still on xbox...
we worked it out after he called me a physco b***h but from now on when ever he slightly annoys me i get wound up and phycke out (sorry about spelling) this is getting bad because hes starting to retalliate and hurt me back to teach me a lesson as i often give him bad bruises.
i keep saying i need help to my mum but she wont agree and i dnt know what to do... please help :-( :-(
I really love him and dont want to put him in hospital if it gets out of hand.
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Well I can't say that I've experienced this exact thing myself, but I can give you my opinion since nobody else responded and you deserve a response. I used to be in a relationship where my man occasionally ignored me when I was feeling angry. Doesn't that just make you even MORE mad?!!? It did for me, girl. When they don't pay attention to you, it just does something to you, inside, right? I know how it is.
But to be honest, there's no real way to stop yourself from feeling your feelings. The best suggestion I can give you is to stop it from the root of the problem. Why are you getting pissed off in the first place? Try to just let things go more often. Because once you get mad, he will just ignore you more, and you will then psyche out as you said. The trick is to not get mad initially so he doesn't have the chance to ignore you.
I agree that you need help, but sometimes help isn't always accessible to you, and you have to deal with your problems directly, and as an adult. Self control is a huge part of your problem. Believe me, I know love hurts, and yes, I've pulled my own hair out before too, hit my boyfriend and gotten hit back by my boyfriend. But listen to me: If you REALLY love this guy and you can't picture your life without him, you MUST stop hitting him and going psycho like that. I know you're only doing it because you're feeling passionately towards him and you're angry, but you will lose him if the fighting continues and I don't believe that's what you want. That's not what I wanted, and I eventually lost my boyfriend. Try to decide what is more important to you when you first start feeling angry. Is he more important, or is the issue that you're arguing over more important?
I wish I had a real way to help you, but that is all I know. Good luck with everything, I am on your side!
-Mina
But to be honest, there's no real way to stop yourself from feeling your feelings. The best suggestion I can give you is to stop it from the root of the problem. Why are you getting pissed off in the first place? Try to just let things go more often. Because once you get mad, he will just ignore you more, and you will then psyche out as you said. The trick is to not get mad initially so he doesn't have the chance to ignore you.
I agree that you need help, but sometimes help isn't always accessible to you, and you have to deal with your problems directly, and as an adult. Self control is a huge part of your problem. Believe me, I know love hurts, and yes, I've pulled my own hair out before too, hit my boyfriend and gotten hit back by my boyfriend. But listen to me: If you REALLY love this guy and you can't picture your life without him, you MUST stop hitting him and going psycho like that. I know you're only doing it because you're feeling passionately towards him and you're angry, but you will lose him if the fighting continues and I don't believe that's what you want. That's not what I wanted, and I eventually lost my boyfriend. Try to decide what is more important to you when you first start feeling angry. Is he more important, or is the issue that you're arguing over more important?
I wish I had a real way to help you, but that is all I know. Good luck with everything, I am on your side!
-Mina
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hey, thank-you for all the advice,
i realised the other day when i signed up to this site thats its for advice on health issues, not bf problems but i have so many problems, that this was the only place i could talk really talk without being embarrased, but thank-you for your reply.
ive made progress :-) (without help)
since your reply.
for some reason, we havent argued in ages.. and i think it might be because im more involved with his xbox.. ive gotton addicted to one of his games. :-) lol
after little arguments, he started to do it again, but i talked to him and told him im scared of hurting him because i love him so much.
and things are improving, he is buying a car soon, so i guess we wont be stuck in the house getting on each others nerves as i dont work (go college tho) so it will be nice to finally go out and do something together.
thanks for your help, lets just hope everything stays as it is :-)
i realised the other day when i signed up to this site thats its for advice on health issues, not bf problems but i have so many problems, that this was the only place i could talk really talk without being embarrased, but thank-you for your reply.
ive made progress :-) (without help)
since your reply.
for some reason, we havent argued in ages.. and i think it might be because im more involved with his xbox.. ive gotton addicted to one of his games. :-) lol
after little arguments, he started to do it again, but i talked to him and told him im scared of hurting him because i love him so much.
and things are improving, he is buying a car soon, so i guess we wont be stuck in the house getting on each others nerves as i dont work (go college tho) so it will be nice to finally go out and do something together.
thanks for your help, lets just hope everything stays as it is :-)
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