Alcoholic Boyfriend Issue

I have a question.. If someone is in a blackout from drinking and in a rage do they really mean what they say? I mean is this coming from what they really think and feel when sober?  

I know how un-loved you must feel at times, I found mr. right too and he was mr. wrong when he drank to much, we wound up breaking up and he hooked up with a drinker, I loved him so much, and now I'm the bad gal and he'ld rather be with her, I dont know if love and an alcoholic mix, I felt like a donkey chasen the carrot, that if eaten would of killed me .lol, I still love him , hes given her all my hopes and dreams I wish I had walked away, before he broke my heart, he blames it all on me , has never apologized and never will.

Aw. I myself joined AA. Find your local chapter. Try to take him there. And if you feel you might be enabling him or yourself, make sure you both quit.

sometimes, it's not that easy.

Alcoholics can only quit when they reach rock bottom. Do we really need to go with them to rock bottom? I let my boyfriend dump me before going to Hawaii For 2 months because of work, completely black out wasted. He eroded my sense of self esteem, and REALLY enabled me to do the same to him. We both drank together. Had horrendous fighting. Verbal abuse is never fun. And denial.

Alcoholics are control freaks because their life is out of control. They HAVE to admit that they are powerless Over alcohol.

Also, recognize the fear that goes with alcoholism. And esteem issues too. On the alcoholics behalf. There are always excuses for drinking, so don't ask "why." an alcoholic makes a MILLION excuses for why alcohol is ok to over indulge in.

If I could hug all you girls, and tell you to RUN if he doesn't admit he has a problem.

I had no idea that there were people out there feeling what I´m feeling. I guess i just never thought about it. I just broke up with my 2 year old relationship boyfriend. One of his drunken afternoons he attacked me physically  and psychologically. I love him with my whole being. But let me tell you something, IT DOESN´T GET BETTER! It only get worse just like my case. believe me, I tried, many many times but it was all in vain... During the week he would seem better but any chance he got to drink he would make up thousands of lies and ended up drunk as hell and treating me like sh*t. I know he has a good heart, I know all he is capable of, the good and the bad. But I also know he is very sick. And he won´t get better until he wants to. This relationship took away a huge part of me. It made me insecure, weak, indecisive, sad, depressed even, mad, and crazy sometimes. I don´t wish this on anyone. I really hope he gets better, I really hope he becomes the person I know he wants to be and the person I know he can be. And even if he doesn´t I will always care about him. I just won´t be there if he doesn´t want me there, and I won´t be there if he doesn´t want to heal. 

HOpe it helped

so i have never responded to one of these forums or posts but this one really hit me.  i just moved to canada a week ago to live with my boyfriend and yes we have lived together before (a month and a half in washington, dc) and I have visited him in canada a few times.  But we continually fight.  And tonight we had a huge fight because of his drinking again.  I am certain that he has a drinking problem but he doesn't want to address it even when i tell him he needs to stop.  He threw up out of the window this morning.....anyways.   I just don't know if it will get better and he will actually be nice to me after drinking or if he's saying when he's drinking is really what he's feeling?  Please I am in a foreign country as well and am so close to moving back but I need some help. 

I'm in the same boat, except I've given up on him. I told him he can go. It is my house, otherwise i would definitely have already gone long ago. We are going on three years together and have two kids together and i have three older ones that aren't his. The older kids can see through him and don't know if he can be trusted anymore. He would come home drunk and grinning and wrestling with the kids and eat and pass out and then wake up a couple hours later and can't find the toilet.he's pissed in toy boxes, trash cans, laundry baskets, the floor, his own shoes, etc. he gets very angry and aggressive and pushes me away when i try to help him find the toilet. Three weeks ago i called the cops on him finally. I couldn't take it anymore. I told him it was over. I didn't want his behavior around me or the kids anymore. I told him to go and locked the house.he broke two doors to come in the house and then shoved me out my own door. So i called and he ran but he came back later that night and he slept on the couch.next morning said he was gonna quit drinking for real this time.he didn't want to leave his family. So i give him one last chance.things have been ok.the first week was grea. We've been through the withdrawals before so we knew what to expect with that. He has been lowering his intake over the past two years and i researched withdrawals then. Two weeks and i can see he is getting anxious and antsy.keeps asking me if i wanna go get a drink. Then a few days later he goes out with his friend.which is not allowed.or rules are that he doesn't leave the house without me or a kid with him.so he returns and he's acting just a little funny.and wants to smoke like three bowls in ten minutes.which is a dead give away.and then as I'm asking him if he drank and he's lying, i kissed him and he tastes like beer.so he eventually admits he had a tall beer.which is basically two. I thank him for being honest with me and tell him he just started his withdrawals over.then he goes downstairs and he's all turned on and all over me while I'm looking in the fridge for dinner to cook. He goes in the bedroom and plays with the kids.eats some nachos and comes out on the couch where i am and passes out at five o'clock in the evening. He didn't wake up till late that night and came in the bedroom and fell back asleep.baby was crying and that's another thing that's always My fault and he's always yelling at me about.just put the nipple in her mouth he says even though he has no idea i just fed her and she's teething and was biting me. That was last week. And all the rest of that week he was an irritable ass, which i knew was withdrawals.during the day he would talk about getting some loving and then at night he would purposely not take a shower and say he didn't feel well or his stomach hurt or whatever.so four days went on the same way.he's tired and has no energy and that's withdrawals too.he thinks they should be over by now.so I'm on the computer yesterday researching it again.cause i like to know exactly what I'm doing with, cause he won't look it up and doesn't care to hear about what i learn either. He's at about three weeks now.not including that one tall beer he had last Wednesday. I found out that withdrawals last a few weeks, but post withdrawals can last over two years. But they are not as bad and less frequent.episodes can last a few days. I don't know if I'm up for this. This morning he picked a fight out of nowhere about my ex visiting only the kids he helped raise and how it's not fair to the other two kids. He would not want them going with my ex anyway.he just wanted to pick a fight. My ex quit drinking just for the sole purpose of seeing my kids Again. He says he's going to the bar today after work.today is his last day of asap and it's supposed to snow again. It was canceled last week cause of snow.anyway.that's where I'm at now.he's withdrawing and irritable and angry as all heck.anybody here where I'm at going through this with their man?

Split with my alcoholic bf of 10 yrs 4 mths ago. I loved him with all my heart. It is so painful but I was going mad. I long to hear that he will admit he has a problem but I wait in vain. He will always have support/enabling of his mum& friends. Now I am fighting an internal battle with these so called enabling friends of his who give him no reason to face & deal with his problem/illness. In the meantime he ruins his own life & the loving life he could have had with me. Am heartbroken but realise there is nothing I can do, i hav tried everything & am exhausted. Just walk away, you have to save your own life (this is what I tell myself)....it is incredibly hard. My heart goes out to evryone in same situation. I hope we can find strength.

My boyfriend drinks all the time I love him as he treats me very well and when he doesn't drink so much fun .but when I tell him to cut out hard liquor he is like I don't care what you think . We separated for 1year and I saw a change but once we got back together he started again . It's so frustrating

What can I say to my alcoholic boyfriend to leave the alcohol?