I am currently in a very similar situation. I don't think you are a horrible person at all! You are still a child yourself, everyone is saying to worry about the child. I 100% agree that it is not what's best for the child to bring them into a situation where they will not feel 100% secure. As a child who grew up in a family with tight funds, I know that those burdens can end up falling onto the kids, and that's not fair to them. Also, to people saying "God has a plan", yes He does. He doesn't control what you do, He simply knows what will happen before it does, and we still have free will. He knew whatever decision you will make/made beforehand, and that is part of his plan!! Hope whatever happened was the decision YOU wanted and I hope everything works out for you!!