Hi im a 19 year old male and have had this problem for over a year now. i havent talked to anyone about it. whenever i try and go to the washroom and there are a bunch of people in there or there is a lineup waiting, i just cannot seem to go. i can stand there and nothing comes out. it feels like it is just going to and it just stops. does anyone have any ideas. it only happens in public places, mostly restaurants, school, work, and sports stadiums. sometimes i even go into a stall and sometimes even that does not work
It has been shown that about 1 in 7 males and fewer women suffer from bashful bladder (otherwise known as being pee shy, having a shy bladder, experiencing stage fright, etc.). The medical /psychological term is paruresis When others are around, next to you at the urinal, making noise in the men's room (or too silent so they can hear you piss), you don't relax but freeze up or lock up and no matter how much you need to empty your full bladder you can't. Behavioral therapy (cognitive) can help, some exercises such as holding your breath and then exhale just as you approach the urinal. Some count back from 100 or do math problems to distract yourself. **** There are also books to read: e.g., Steven Soifer, Ph. D., Shy Bladder Syndrome, available on the same web site or from amazon.com
First you need to be checked out by your physician or better yet by a urologist. Often doctors haven't heard of this condition. But they tell you if there is anything wrong medically. :?
**edited by moderator**
First you need to be checked out by your physician or better yet by a urologist. Often doctors haven't heard of this condition. But they tell you if there is anything wrong medically. :?
**edited by moderator**
I have the same problem as you... it's very sad. it can take over your life if you don't do things to prevent it as soon as possible.
While it takes quite a bit of diligence, you can overcome paruresis. And it is much better to start sooner than later. I have been to support meetings and have read quite a few articles/books/stories on the topic, and am progressing.
Paruresis is a social phobia and you have paruresis because you are self-conscious. If you weren't self-conscious you wouldn't have paruresis. The best way for you not to be self-conscious is to be conscious. So there are two things you need to work on graduated exposure therapy and being conscious. Steve Soifer's book, Shy Bladder Syndrome, Your Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Parureis, is an excellent overall introduction and covers his paradigm for graduated exposure recovery.
As well you will want to read, Free to Pee, A Self-help Guide for Men with Paruresis, Christopher McCullough, Ph.D. (This is available from the IPA web-site store.) McCullough is a psychiatrist and he covers things from more of the subjective side. Also read his introduction on paruresis on the web-site.
The most important thing is not to allow paruresis to define who you are. It really is not that important. It is not worth getting depressed over. But it is worth overcoming. It is incredibly important that you accept that you have paruresis and act in a way that is healthy for you. Doing that is far more important than faking going in order to give others the impression that you peed.
Good luck, and please take care of your phobia as soon as you can. It is a problem that must be overcomed by all.
While it takes quite a bit of diligence, you can overcome paruresis. And it is much better to start sooner than later. I have been to support meetings and have read quite a few articles/books/stories on the topic, and am progressing.
Paruresis is a social phobia and you have paruresis because you are self-conscious. If you weren't self-conscious you wouldn't have paruresis. The best way for you not to be self-conscious is to be conscious. So there are two things you need to work on graduated exposure therapy and being conscious. Steve Soifer's book, Shy Bladder Syndrome, Your Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Parureis, is an excellent overall introduction and covers his paradigm for graduated exposure recovery.
As well you will want to read, Free to Pee, A Self-help Guide for Men with Paruresis, Christopher McCullough, Ph.D. (This is available from the IPA web-site store.) McCullough is a psychiatrist and he covers things from more of the subjective side. Also read his introduction on paruresis on the web-site.
The most important thing is not to allow paruresis to define who you are. It really is not that important. It is not worth getting depressed over. But it is worth overcoming. It is incredibly important that you accept that you have paruresis and act in a way that is healthy for you. Doing that is far more important than faking going in order to give others the impression that you peed.
Good luck, and please take care of your phobia as soon as you can. It is a problem that must be overcomed by all.
Yes this symptom describes a problem i have alone in the washroom, i have problems getting going and often dont quite empty the bladder.
Sometimes the flow is good others not, however i do NOT have a frequent urgency to go , more like normal.
My problem is just i really need to relax to get going and i always have a feeling in the bladder area that (when going) that i am not relaxed as much as i could be.
Sometimes the flow is good others not, however i do NOT have a frequent urgency to go , more like normal.
My problem is just i really need to relax to get going and i always have a feeling in the bladder area that (when going) that i am not relaxed as much as i could be.