Hi, I'm sixteen years old and I used to be a pretty big smoker (marijuana). Started freshman year (I'm now a junior), but have slowly declined in use since. Today I can't get near the stuff. Even the smell of it brings back this horrible feeling of dread, and that everything will not be okay. When I smoke I get lost in strange delusions about myself. I think I am somehow inferior to everyone else and that I've been this way my whole life, but everyone is keeping it secret from me for some reason. I really don't believe this, but it seems so real when I'm stoned. These kinds of feeling will come up when I'm sober, usually when I'm sad, or just down. And when I'm happy these thoughts seem so minuscule and unimportant, but when I'm not feeling too hot they consume me. My grandfather was schizophrenic, and it haunts me to think I am developing this disease. I really don't think I am, but it's hard to escape the idea. It has caused me a lot of anxiety / depression. I have been experiencing a little depersonalization due to severe depression and anxiety. I recently transferred to a new school, and It's hard for me to keep in touch with my old friends / make new ones. My parents don't understand. I'm seeing a therapist, and he helps to make me feel better. But I really would like a way out of this and I can't seem to find one. Please, help.
Thanks
Thanks
You can’t find a quick way out of this simply because there is no quick and 100 percent successful way. You actually are doing the best thing that you can at the moment – you gave up on something that obviously was making things worse for you, you are quite sure that all these negative thoughts are just that – negative thoughts which are too general to be true, and you’re seeing a therapist.
On the other hand, you are 16. It’s the perfect time now for you to discover depths and lows of your personality, and you know, negative thoughts are always there when you’re down – what else would you think. It’s simply a natural part of growing up, everyone has been there.
On the other hand, you are 16. It’s the perfect time now for you to discover depths and lows of your personality, and you know, negative thoughts are always there when you’re down – what else would you think. It’s simply a natural part of growing up, everyone has been there.
Yes, that all makes a lot of sense. I guess I'm over-thinking it all and overreacting. I suppose it's all a matter of finding myself (a solid soul) eventually... Thanks for replying!
It would be a lot easier if I was as s smart back then :-)