Right, so I'm a 20 year old average dude, and after years of social anxiety I finally find confidence, start socializing and bam, girlfriend.
Now, the problem is I can't maintain an erection with her, let me explain.
We've been together for 3 months, 2 of which have been long distance, but we talk a lot, and I tell her everything, and I mean everything. two weeks ago she finally agreed to stay over at my place, since we usually just hang out outside, and we're making out, it get's all hot, and I get an erection, but, the moment I think about how I'll have sex with her, and take of my pants, it dies. If I forget about the sex part while in my undies and just casually make out with her or cuddle her, I have an erection, but the moment I think about sex, dingus-dead.
I don't know whether it's cause I'm not emotionally ready yet, due to my unhealthy lifestyle these past 2 years, or the fact (and this scares the sh*t out of me) that I might actually be a porn addict, and have warped my brain. Thing is, aside from the erection thing, I don't have any symptoms of a porn addict, sure, I abused it out of boredom the past two years, but I've never felt ashamed of it, never cause my self harm because of it, never felt depressed because of it or anything, if anything it clears my head and that's it. Although I do recognize that when I was doing it 4-5 times a day THAT was a problem.
I've stopped watching porn because of my fear that that's the case, but I simply don't know what's happening to me.
I've talked to a friend about it and he told me to just not think about it, not rush it, and when it comes down to sex that it's cause it's supposed to be my first time, I'm a very nervous person, I overthink and I usually see way more bad that good in situations.
I have no idea what to do, she hasn't given me head, or hasn't let me give her head-which I think might just get me rock hard cause I love the idea of giving head, but other than trying that, or just having a few shots before the first time to calm my nerves down I've no idea what to do or where this is coming from. And guys, I really don't wanna spend 30-60 days without masturbating to recover from something I very possibly don't have.
I am truly stumped, any ideas?
Hi Guest,
It happens to a lot of guys, not being able to stay erect the first time or several times.
You need to break the ice. If she'd let you go down on her, great. Focus on her pleasure and not yours. You might also let her masturbate you.
Use some protection too. It can help reduce your concerns over pregnancy.
Stop using porn too. It does alter your perspective of things.