Sorry, can't help you with this situation, but so easily could have been in a similar place. For the benefit of other readers, this is how my wife and I have managed things with our daughter. Firstly, she is the youngest of the family with 3 brothers 3/5/7 years older, so by the time she got to 14 and had her first proper boyfriend (also a good friend of youngest brother) at least 2 of the boys had been sexually active.
So we didn't assume any knowledge on her part, even though she is a pretty sensible girl, and went through all the health and pregnancy risks again as well as the legal aspects of underage sex. We were also fortunate in being able to discuss the issues with his parents and amazingly we shared the same views
- we did not approve of underage sex
- we strongly recommended abstinence until legal age of consent
- if however, they wished to have sex despite breaking the law and going against our wishes, we would assist with contraception
She said that she did not intend to have sex but probably would do so once she reached 16. Our initial thoughts were that the relationship would not last, so no immediate problem. However, approaching her 16th birthday they were still together and appeared to have a very strong relationship, she asked my wife about contraception. She also said she would like to have her boyfriend sleep over after her 16th birthday party (to be held at home). We agreed to these requests and to the best of our knowledge they both gave their virginity to each other on her 16th birthday. After that there were occasional sleepovers at both houses but they were both very responsible in ensuring work and study commitments were met as a first priority. The boyfriend came with us on a family holiday and we were happy for them to share a room.
A few months later the relationship ended. We sensed that the main issue was that he was then 18 and able to go to entertainment venues where alcohol was available, while she could not. He was finding this too restrictive to socialising with his friends. She now has another boyfriend and is 18. Again we sounded out his parents and it was very clear that they disapproved of sex and although we did not ask the question directly, it was very clear that sleepovers were off the agenda at his home. So we also respected their position and took a similar stance. She was very accepting of this. We don't conclusively know whether they are having sex or not - probably they are, but we are not condoning it in our house in this particular relationship because his parents would not be happy with the situation and we regard them as friends. What they do outside our respective houses is their business, and we have no right to intrude because they are both over 18.
I realise that it's not always possible to work things out with the other parents - you may not even know who they are, but in both cases, we have managed to maintain a united and supportive approach.
So we didn't assume any knowledge on her part, even though she is a pretty sensible girl, and went through all the health and pregnancy risks again as well as the legal aspects of underage sex. We were also fortunate in being able to discuss the issues with his parents and amazingly we shared the same views
- we did not approve of underage sex
- we strongly recommended abstinence until legal age of consent
- if however, they wished to have sex despite breaking the law and going against our wishes, we would assist with contraception
She said that she did not intend to have sex but probably would do so once she reached 16. Our initial thoughts were that the relationship would not last, so no immediate problem. However, approaching her 16th birthday they were still together and appeared to have a very strong relationship, she asked my wife about contraception. She also said she would like to have her boyfriend sleep over after her 16th birthday party (to be held at home). We agreed to these requests and to the best of our knowledge they both gave their virginity to each other on her 16th birthday. After that there were occasional sleepovers at both houses but they were both very responsible in ensuring work and study commitments were met as a first priority. The boyfriend came with us on a family holiday and we were happy for them to share a room.
A few months later the relationship ended. We sensed that the main issue was that he was then 18 and able to go to entertainment venues where alcohol was available, while she could not. He was finding this too restrictive to socialising with his friends. She now has another boyfriend and is 18. Again we sounded out his parents and it was very clear that they disapproved of sex and although we did not ask the question directly, it was very clear that sleepovers were off the agenda at his home. So we also respected their position and took a similar stance. She was very accepting of this. We don't conclusively know whether they are having sex or not - probably they are, but we are not condoning it in our house in this particular relationship because his parents would not be happy with the situation and we regard them as friends. What they do outside our respective houses is their business, and we have no right to intrude because they are both over 18.
I realise that it's not always possible to work things out with the other parents - you may not even know who they are, but in both cases, we have managed to maintain a united and supportive approach.
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I am 13 and i have a 17 yr old brother a 14 yr old brother an 8 yr old sister and my moms having a baby and im dating a guy but its not really dating or whatever but my oldest brother is 17 and he keeps saying when im 14 theres going to be ground rules and he is really protective and he wont tell me what ground rules are bc apperently im not old enough yet but i know what sex and stuff is and i dont think he knows i do but ik that he does it with his gf and then my 14 yr old brother keeps saying im to young to have a boyfriend and both of them went up to my bf and said NO TOUCHING, NO KISSING, OR ANYTHING ELSE. And so i dont think they like him but idc and my 14 yr old brother has a gf and always ask my parents if he can spend the night with her and her dad is fine with it but my parents always say no wich is kinda funny to me idk why... But my brothers actually took my phone and were texting my bf and having a talk with him or whatever so now hes worried to come to my house cuz he thinks my brothers are going to kill him
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Our daughter is 14 also and just recieved her Sacrement of 8th grade confirmation back on October 6th.Per the dress code,all of the girls hed to wear a white,poofy,knee length,short sleeve dress and veil with white tights and the white,patent leather shoes.Since the confirmation dress is considered an extension of the baptism gown,like the first communion dress is,all of the girls had to wear a cloth diaper and plastic pants under their tights with a white tee shirt as their top.After her party,she went to her best friends house to show her the outfit,but her friend and parents were out.How ever,the friends 16 year old brother was home alone and invited the daughter in.Soon one thing led to another,and the boy got the daughters dress off of her,and got very aroused seeing the cloth diaper and rubberpants under her tights and she wound up on her knees giving him a blowjob! The husband and i were totally shocked when we heard about this from her friends mom,as her son confessed to making the daughter give him the oral sex!
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Nothing you can do. The horse has already bolted. Just make sure she's practicing safe sex. Take her to the doctor, get her checked out and discuss the option of the pill.
Sex is normal and not a bad thing. Having sex at 14 is nothing to be surprised about. It is normal and very enjoyable and sharing intimacy is a feel good experience and very gratifying.
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What do you mean?!?
You let her finish. Get close to observe and make sure the man is wearing a condom and didn't cum inside her. If so get condoms and show her how to put it on the man next time so she will know how to protect herself.
You let her finish. Get close to observe and make sure the man is wearing a condom and didn't cum inside her. If so get condoms and show her how to put it on the man next time so she will know how to protect herself.
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Teen girls will have sex when they decide to have sex. Like you said, many teen girls arent aware of the risks. SO WHY DONT YOU TAKE THE LEAD AND TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT AND TEACH THEM ABOUT RISKS AND HOW TO BE SAFE.
Dont you think it is your responsibility to make sure they are prepared and safe for when it happens??
This is crazy!!
Dont you think it is your responsibility to make sure they are prepared and safe for when it happens??
This is crazy!!
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First off,i cant imagine your daughter letting the 16 year old boy take her dress off of her and him seeing her in her tee shirt,diaper and rubberpants! Secondly,getting down on her knees and giving him a blowjob! To most catholic teen girls going thru confirmation,the white dress and veil with the diaper,rubberpants and tights is the symbol of their purity and innocence for their confirmation and they feel special! Your daughter was taken advantage of by this boy and she should have had the mindset to say no and leave!
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Great approach. I have a few points to add.
No one condones or encourages underage sex.
BUT, more often than not sex will happen in a few cases. As a society we stupidly believe that just because we do not condone or do not encourage underage sex, that sex wont happen. Such a fallacy and so very naive and ignorant we are!!
The best thing for everyone is that we accept that teen underage sex will happen if the opportunity is there and the conditions are optimal. This is a given. Happened in my case.
The responsible and sensible thing that societ can do and MUST do is to PREPARE those teens for the event and give them the tools to stay safe and to prevent consequences. Rather than telling teens to abstain we need to educate them and PREPARE them for this big event. This does not mean we are encouraging them. All it means is that if and when they do have sex at least it will prevent unwanted and unintended pregnancy.
That would be intelligent way forward. If we dont do this we only have ourselves to blame.
In my situation I had a much older boyfriend who took care of me and made sure I came to no harm.
No one condones or encourages underage sex.
BUT, more often than not sex will happen in a few cases. As a society we stupidly believe that just because we do not condone or do not encourage underage sex, that sex wont happen. Such a fallacy and so very naive and ignorant we are!!
The best thing for everyone is that we accept that teen underage sex will happen if the opportunity is there and the conditions are optimal. This is a given. Happened in my case.
The responsible and sensible thing that societ can do and MUST do is to PREPARE those teens for the event and give them the tools to stay safe and to prevent consequences. Rather than telling teens to abstain we need to educate them and PREPARE them for this big event. This does not mean we are encouraging them. All it means is that if and when they do have sex at least it will prevent unwanted and unintended pregnancy.
That would be intelligent way forward. If we dont do this we only have ourselves to blame.
In my situation I had a much older boyfriend who took care of me and made sure I came to no harm.
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I know this post is from over a year ago and I hope your issues have resolved. Remember your love life is NOT the business of your brother/s. What you and your bf do is between you both.
What are your bf's parents like? Maybe you could spend some time at his place with him. That might be a good start especially if it is during the day time.
You havent said how old your bf is but I really dont think it matters as long as you both like each other enough to care about each other and look out for each other and to make sure you never never get yourselves in trouble. If you do end up having sex which I am sure will happen, please take precautions against falling pregnant. It is fun and very enjoyable to be in a sweet relationship.
What are your bf's parents like? Maybe you could spend some time at his place with him. That might be a good start especially if it is during the day time.
You havent said how old your bf is but I really dont think it matters as long as you both like each other enough to care about each other and look out for each other and to make sure you never never get yourselves in trouble. If you do end up having sex which I am sure will happen, please take precautions against falling pregnant. It is fun and very enjoyable to be in a sweet relationship.
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Our 15 year old daughter did it even worse! She was finially baptized this past Easter sunday at Easter mass along with several other kids,tweens and teens.Her and all of the other girls baptized with her,all wore the traditional,white,poofy,short sleeve,top of the knees baptism dresses with the bonnet,lace anklets and the white maryjane shoes and under their dresses,the traditional white cloth baptism diaper and rubberpants with a tee shirt as their top.The daughter and the other girls were declared as 'babies' for their baptisms by the priest.After her party was over the husband and i took relatives to the airport,so the daughter was home alone! When we got home,we caught the daughter in her room with her boyfriend,her baptism dress was off and she was on her knees giving him a blowjob as a 'baby'! She told us her boyfriend seduced her!
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