all i can say is congrats on open ur eyes and ur heart!!
now if only i could do the same .. i find comfort in the ppls stories online they give me hope while other just scared the sh*t out of me...
i hope i get thro this dark stage in my life .. and ur story gives me hope.. thank u for posting
I used to smoke alot of meth, and i wear contacts so everytime i was up for a few days, my contacts would become cloudy, so when i took them out and held them up to the light, you could see the crystalization taking place. i would clean them and put them back in, sure enough 6-8 hours later they would be cloudy again. The reason is that meth is water soluble and anything water soluble when ingested or smoked will come out all of your pores. including muscus membranes such as the eye. bad stuff altogether, get clean why u still have a chance, ive been clean for almost 4 years now, and never plan to touch that sh*t again.
Okay, not to seem like someone who is trying to actually defend a terrible drug but you all are speaking about this drug through the eyes, experiences and affects of people who become addicted and do it often. I will admit that I smoke meth and my life is still just as perfect as it was two years before I started (yeah, two years and no draw backs.) Want to know why? It's called moderation and a lot of it. I understand how addicting this drug can be and that most people are very easily hooked to it and end up not being able to go more than three days without smoking even as a first timer. I have a smoke session with three of my friends once every three months and we usually smoke about 4-5 bowls and during the time I'm not smoking you know what I'm like? Normal, I get no cravings, haven't felt sick, sh*t, the drug isn't even on my brain half the time until they call me and say "You got the money for it yet? Tomorrow we smoke" and when that happens I usually rush to a calender because it is always impossible for me to believe that much time has passed. I don't think any drug is a healthy choice and that not starting is better than starting but no matter how hated or bad something seems I feel like it still deserves to be given some sort of defense and so here I am telling you that if you don't smoke meth with the mindset of 'Oh man, hope it really isn't that addictive or make me that sick' and don't finish your session with thoughts like 'How long till I sober? Should I smoke more to be sure? How long should I wait before smoking again?" You'll be cool. Now, when the session is over and you sober up it's normal to be a little bummed that you got no more and are sober but seriously? Don't take it too seriously. For my first time it was like this "I think I'm sobering up. Anymore left?" "Nope, that's it bro." All I could do was shrug and say "Well damn" before sitting on the couch and watching some movies. After a couple days I forgot I even smoked it unless I talked to them or was reminded of it some way and for the past two years it's been like that; I don't think about it and I don't care about it. I can honestly I enjoy the feeling it gives with great pleasure when I do smoke but when I'm not smoking it and haven't for a month or two I don't get worked up, bothered, I don't feel down or sick I just feel like my normal happy self; meth doesn't even change my emotions, I just feel physically light and pumped up. I have yet to actually find myself at any point thinking "sh*t, wish I had some." Ever! I also have yet to even begin to feel like my stomach is starting to get upset. So, the way I see it despite the health risks and that no amount is good for you if you can keep a strong enough will and do it at moderated intervals it really won't do much harm to your mental and emotional state for a very long time. Two years of smoking, had a doctors appointment a week ago and my health checked out completely except for my Mitral Vale Prolapse heart condition but I've had that since birth. (it's not serious, about 5-6 drops of blood regurgitates backward through my heart and to my head, causes minor to pretty noticeable dizzy spells that never last more than 10 seconds.
I also had to give this same argument about smoking; believe it or not I hate cigarettes more than meth and think they are even worse for you. I smoked for a year or so but I was not and still am not convinced (no matter how many people tell me or doctors prove it) that cigarettes are actually addicting. I believe that because of all the hype about how addicting they are it becomes a placebo affect that no one realizes. After about a year of smoking I noticed my breathing really started to suck more than ever and my voice was gone for two weeks and when it came back I couldn't hit any pitch (whether I'm talking, singing or making sound affects) any higher than my normal speech tone. I also noticed my complexion was getting worse. Okay, so figure this one out for me: 2 years of smoking meth and nothing so far has gone wrong. 1 year of smoking cigarettes (about one pack would last me one month and a week or so if I wasn't like.. In some kind of state of mind where I needed to chain smoke on certain days) and throat was damaged, lungs damaged and complexion ruined. So, I decided I wanted to quit and that's when I stopped believing they were addicting because I was able to just break the lit cigarette in mouth, throw out my pack and since then I haven't had a single craving or desire. Now, I know most people (everyone says this to me) here will say "Oh, a pack lasted you a month? No wonder it was easy to quit you didn't smoke as much as everyone else usually does." I heard this about four times before I got sick of it so I had one of the friends I smoke meth with quit his cigarette habit and he was a pack and a half a day or every other day sort of guy. It went something like this: "Bro, you enjoy smoking?" "Eh, I guess so, why? I mean.. It's not like it's greatest f*****g thing I ever put in my mouth or some sh*t if that what you mean." "Would you be willing to quit just because I asked you to?" "Eh, I would and probably could but I honestly don't want to." Now, I knew that was the first excuse an addict says so instantly I got mad because I thought my theory was finally ruined and that I really didn't smoke enough to get addicted. "Alright, so, you are fully capable of quitting yet, it's just enjoyable enough not to? Am I hearing this correctly?" "Hear what you want bro, I'm trying to smoke and talking about quitting is ruining this cancer stick." "What if I said please?" "For what?" "Quitting!" "You're joking, right?" "No, dead serious. Please quit." "When?" "Now." "Seriously? Why the sudden need to have me quit?" "Because I asked nicely and said please." "Eh, alright. What the f**k ever, if it gets you off my ass and gets me another bowl." So, he finished his cigarette and threw his last two packs in the fire place and guess what? No relapse. I even started bugging him every one or two days out of the week "How's the quitting going?" "Fine, I guess?" "No cravings or rise in temper? No jitters or exhaustion?" "Not really, I mean... I go to work at 5am. How the f**k would you feel?" And please take note he is a big time lover of swear words so nothing I have repeated was due to smokes, in fact, he was being nice that day and only because he finally got a day off after 3 weeks.
I have a feeling no one is going to read this but if any of you do just know that I do not support meth or cigarettes and that I do not in any way think they are okay, just because I enjoy doing does not mean I would ever recommend it to someone or be the reason they start or try. I would never, even people older than me, say yes to anyone for any price they wanted to give who asked me to get them some or smoke them out. Nope, as far as I am concerned this is my vice, I love it, I do not regret it and maybe one day when it does actually do something bad to my life I will but I will always tell another individual no and I will try to keep them away from it. I know that sounds hypocritical but just because I enjoy it in no way means I think doing it is better or equal to not doing it. I think not doing it is a better option. Do I care when it comes to my own personal well being and health? No, because I haven't seen any changes in myself and nor has my doctor but I will not take the risk of someone taking one hit for the first time then suddenly their heart explodes because for some reason their body took it about as badly as mine does excellently. So please understand before you try to bash me that I once again am not saying all you people hating on meth so badly are wrong, ignorant or stupid. I'm just saying that your opinions seem based on those who became totally obsessive and had no self control to begin with. Maybe I'm just too kind at heart for my own good but I believe EVERYTHING no matter how bad it seems deserves to be looked at in both perspectives; good and bad. So don't think I don't care, am bashing or am not understanding towards your hatred but I hope (even if this wasn't some truly intellectual and extremely informative piece) after reading this that even if you still hate meth with a passion you at LEAST see that it does not have to be as bad as everyone thinks and that the same goes for everything in life. Just because every aspect about something is terrible and nothing about it will ever be beneficial or useful and it is no way GOOD that does not mean or give anyone the right to assume it is worth such blind one-sided hatred because I promise you if you open your eyes you will see that whatever it is, really does have a side to it that may not be good but is no where near as bad as you thought. Don't get mad at me, I'm just your average guy who's trying everything he can to stop closed minded assumptions and change the views of people who would rather make judgements towards anything, anyone and for any reason rather that actually examine every aspect no matter how hopeless it seems to find something good or less terrible than whatever it is seems to be at face value.
So, I hope after reading this you at the very least understand where I am coming from and can at least respect why I have decided to post this; even if you agree with none of it. Understanding, open minds and a deserving chance is all I want to put into peoples hearts. I know, I seem to be sounding very poetic and gushy for something such as meth but honestly? This isn't the first forum I've posted to and this isn't the only topic; 'meth' I've discussed, I've been this passionate about the most random topics and situations for the past week now while browsing the internet. Most the time I get hated on, bashed and insulted but I understand why people would. No one likes a person with a true open mind that's willing to accept every possible situation or at least try to understand them. No one enjoys feeling like they are less than the person who would type something like this because they end up realizing how close minded they've been to whatever situation the topic was about. So, I am not trying to make myself seem better because even though I may better than you in a faithful, hopeful and optimistic way I still smoke meth and that means those of you who don't are better than me in one aspect as well. As a meth smoker have I portrayed any stereotypes? Have I tried to make excuses for why what I do is okay? No, I simply showed a different side and admitted it was very bad for you if done too much, your body can't take it, done for too long even in moderation and other reasoning; the severity of meths drawbacks all depend on an array of different factors. Have I tried hating on any of you for hating on my recreational usage of it despite how infrequently I do it? No. I am pretty sure I have not tried to scam, con, lie, steal, cheat, manipulate or hinder any of you in any way except giving you something meaty to read (I know this is never getting read.)
In closing; if anyone would like to discuss this more or tell me what they thought of this post feel free to email:
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Positive or non-attack based messages only. If I even get the feeling you're trying attack or insult me through email based on what I see as a subject and the first sentence in the email I will not read or open it. I truly hope at least one person emails me and lets me know they enjoyed my open mindedness and if I was really lucky I'd love to hear that my post actually made you even more open to everything and look at things a little more closely. I have gotten a few emails on some other topics on random places on the internet about people that actually found what I wrote to their board inspirational enough to change their views or at least appreciate mine and that meant a lot so I've decided to attach my email to every post in case others feel the same.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW OLD THIS POST IS-BUT EMILY-CAN U EMAIL ME-
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. MY BOYFRIEND IS A USER AND I NEED SOME ADVICE.
what does it mean when you smoke meth and you get eye infections where puss comes out of it, swelling in the face, burning redness covers parts of your face, shortness of breath, hard to breath. i thought i was either having an OD or i was dying last night.
Why on God's green earth would you want to smoke meth in the first place. You might as well take a gun to your head or drink a bottle of draino. You are dying a slow death anyway! I hope you don't have children and smoke it around them. I pray for people like you all the time.
I heard myself in your story Thanks for sharing made me feel there is hope for real happiness!
I am not proud of knowing little helpful secrets, like this one. But as such, I am , as some say→resourceful in maintenance. If you are going to play with things that suck the very life out of your body....take vitamins, eat something, drink water when your mouth sticks together, wash...dont pick... All that thinking...put it to constructive work... after all, isnt that why you started it in the first place? I did....
99.9% end up down that same road... it takes control.... it destroys. Very few are stronger than it. Anyways, I wish you well.. and if this still applies, I hope it helps. Take care, ADHD~101