Once, there was a cat on one side of the street and a bunny on the other and the cat wouldn't let the bunny go, so I went near them and then the poor bunny finally got away. And one night it sounded like an animal was being eaten alive the cries were so loud and horrible, so I woke my mom up and we went to go see and it was a bunch of baby skunks crying, they were sooo cute! I love animals!
That Bio Oil is finally starting to work :-D I think it works better on new scars then old ones, but its starting to help more and look better, like two you can barely notice anymore, I can only if I look close and because I know where they are.
Ya, I'm not worried of him telling people what I said, I just don't want them to hear and then wonder whats going on or why I said something and think I'm over reacting. And its not that what he says is necessarily inappropriate, he just makes me really uncomfortable, like he use to be worse but then I backed off more and my aunt said something to him so he kind of stopped, but not fully. I know I need to say something, because if I don't then I'll let something happen and that scares me. So next time I see him I'll try to say something like that.
That Bio Oil is finally starting to work :-D I think it works better on new scars then old ones, but its starting to help more and look better, like two you can barely notice anymore, I can only if I look close and because I know where they are.
Ya, I'm not worried of him telling people what I said, I just don't want them to hear and then wonder whats going on or why I said something and think I'm over reacting. And its not that what he says is necessarily inappropriate, he just makes me really uncomfortable, like he use to be worse but then I backed off more and my aunt said something to him so he kind of stopped, but not fully. I know I need to say something, because if I don't then I'll let something happen and that scares me. So next time I see him I'll try to say something like that.
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Seems like everyday I have a new problem, wanna guess what today is? lol I'm getting sick of it...it's pretty pathetic! Hearing my whining has got to be getting old by now.
But anyways XD well I kind of talked to my dad today, because I was suspicious of him, because he came home late and went downstairs quietly and stuff. And he like didn't take it seriously, and like tried to beat around it. Like he always does and I really hate that. I can NEVER EVER get a straight answer from him EVER. He can never take things seriously and jokes about everything, and he knows that makes me mad but then he always says how I'm too serious and need to lighten up, well I would if he would stop lying to me and can answer simple questions, like when I ask whats for dinner or ask his opinion on things he will never answer the truth for some really stupid reason. So then when he does tell the truth the odd time I never believe him. Can't trust my own dad. So then I always go to my mom. But like I said before, sometimes she hurts me so I don't always want to. I found myself talking more to her and opening up this week and somewhat letting her in, because things have been better with us. But then today she said something to me, can't remember exactly what, but tried to argue with me for no reason so then I once again backed off and closed off. And now she's aggravated, trying to talk to me but I don't want to anymore. Yes, I'm complaining and stating the most dumbest things in the world!
O, and in the afternoon I got a text from my ex to go to a party tonight. Like does he seriously think I'm going to go to that!? And thankfully none of my close friends are going.
There's more, but I'll leave it at that for a now... XD 8-|
But anyways XD well I kind of talked to my dad today, because I was suspicious of him, because he came home late and went downstairs quietly and stuff. And he like didn't take it seriously, and like tried to beat around it. Like he always does and I really hate that. I can NEVER EVER get a straight answer from him EVER. He can never take things seriously and jokes about everything, and he knows that makes me mad but then he always says how I'm too serious and need to lighten up, well I would if he would stop lying to me and can answer simple questions, like when I ask whats for dinner or ask his opinion on things he will never answer the truth for some really stupid reason. So then when he does tell the truth the odd time I never believe him. Can't trust my own dad. So then I always go to my mom. But like I said before, sometimes she hurts me so I don't always want to. I found myself talking more to her and opening up this week and somewhat letting her in, because things have been better with us. But then today she said something to me, can't remember exactly what, but tried to argue with me for no reason so then I once again backed off and closed off. And now she's aggravated, trying to talk to me but I don't want to anymore. Yes, I'm complaining and stating the most dumbest things in the world!
O, and in the afternoon I got a text from my ex to go to a party tonight. Like does he seriously think I'm going to go to that!? And thankfully none of my close friends are going.
There's more, but I'll leave it at that for a now... XD 8-|
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Grown ups lie honey, and I KNOW that he KNOWS that he is upsetting you, and can't handle actually saying the truth - because it makes him sound weak and look weak! So he kids around - kind of like "Hey kiddo no big deal!!!" He knows it's bugging you and he is old enough to understand why! BUT he is not mature enough to apologize!
I ALWAYS apologize to my kids when I've gone off! Because how can I expect them to apologize for their misbehaviour? My dad has a LOT to answer for through his life, and adds onto that daily! So the other day he started SCREAMING at me like Eyes BULGING red faced screaming at me! I looked at him and shouted back "Are you INSANE You NASTY MAN!?" I told him "You should be ashamed of yourself, there is something wrong with you, and you better apologize or I will walk right out that door!" Do you know what his reply was?! He said "Parents don't apologize to their kids, that's a sign of being weak!!!!!" 8-| o.O o.O %-) >:( So I shouted back "NO It's just a sign that you act like a spoiled child and you should be ashamed of yourself!" And left! He has phoned me about 20 times - REFUSING to apologize and keeps asking when I'm coming over! It INFRURIATES ME!! So I TOTALLY understand what you are saying Claire!
They want you to be older - as you are getting older - and have more maturity, BUT when you show that maturity it's like "Oh NO! You're a kid!!" they can't have it both ways! Keep at it though Claire honest honey! You have already made a head way with your mom - which is HUGE! And just because you have had a set back, don't let that derail you OK? Your mom is actually trying to bring you back - if you think about it! She knows she overstepped and it automatically changed to the old ways , and thus her pushing you to talk again1 I think - as a mother - she will be in ABSOLUTE bliss that your relationship has improved and doesn't want to jeoperadize this improvement with HER old ways! So don't give up on that1 And be honest - say "I didn't like how you talked to me mom, as we re getting along so well"
Always remember this, IF you feel distant from your paretns they feel the EXACT same way! And it takes the more mature or you - YOU!!! XD - to change the situation! You have come out of your shell, and I think they are liking this! I know that when my sons are distant from me it about does me in, and when they all of a sudden start telling me ALL about their lives, this lightens me like you wouldn't believe! So hang in there and pat yourself on the back for being SO mature! Big Hugs - Cyber Mom! ;-)
I ALWAYS apologize to my kids when I've gone off! Because how can I expect them to apologize for their misbehaviour? My dad has a LOT to answer for through his life, and adds onto that daily! So the other day he started SCREAMING at me like Eyes BULGING red faced screaming at me! I looked at him and shouted back "Are you INSANE You NASTY MAN!?" I told him "You should be ashamed of yourself, there is something wrong with you, and you better apologize or I will walk right out that door!" Do you know what his reply was?! He said "Parents don't apologize to their kids, that's a sign of being weak!!!!!" 8-| o.O o.O %-) >:( So I shouted back "NO It's just a sign that you act like a spoiled child and you should be ashamed of yourself!" And left! He has phoned me about 20 times - REFUSING to apologize and keeps asking when I'm coming over! It INFRURIATES ME!! So I TOTALLY understand what you are saying Claire!
They want you to be older - as you are getting older - and have more maturity, BUT when you show that maturity it's like "Oh NO! You're a kid!!" they can't have it both ways! Keep at it though Claire honest honey! You have already made a head way with your mom - which is HUGE! And just because you have had a set back, don't let that derail you OK? Your mom is actually trying to bring you back - if you think about it! She knows she overstepped and it automatically changed to the old ways , and thus her pushing you to talk again1 I think - as a mother - she will be in ABSOLUTE bliss that your relationship has improved and doesn't want to jeoperadize this improvement with HER old ways! So don't give up on that1 And be honest - say "I didn't like how you talked to me mom, as we re getting along so well"
Always remember this, IF you feel distant from your paretns they feel the EXACT same way! And it takes the more mature or you - YOU!!! XD - to change the situation! You have come out of your shell, and I think they are liking this! I know that when my sons are distant from me it about does me in, and when they all of a sudden start telling me ALL about their lives, this lightens me like you wouldn't believe! So hang in there and pat yourself on the back for being SO mature! Big Hugs - Cyber Mom! ;-)
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I know they lie, and kids lie but it's dumb. And it wasn't like I was wanting an apology out of it, more like an understanding and mature talk about it. Not making me feel like c**p because he can't be serious for once. My parents like hardly ever apologize, my brother and I will. Ya, who knew saying "sorry" and "I love you" would be the hardest words to say.
I think they know I'm mature, maybe too much for my age, but that's partly because I had to be because no one else will be. Like, in a way (and this is dumb) but even though I am a teenager, sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on being a teenager. Because I can't just let go and have fun like everyone else, its pretty sad actually. I always analyze every situation, like the good and bad about it before I'll do anything. Definitely not a risk taker. :-(
Ya, sometimes I hate when I finally feel like telling her something, and then she has to ask me 100 more question about it, rather then just listening and me telling her. I guess that's my control thing, because then I'll just stop talking and walk away like she ruined the opportunity, which is kind of mean. I know it kills them, it kills me too sometimes. But if only they were like you! LOL XD You just let me talk, and you listen and you like never ask me any questions, that's what I like, and need.
My other problem of the day, well there's this guy, and he likes me and well I kind of like him, lol, but I don't know if I'm ready or not for another relationship. The last one ended up really hurting me! So I get scared :$ :-( and he wants to do stuff with just me and not all our friends around, but then that terrifies me!
I think they know I'm mature, maybe too much for my age, but that's partly because I had to be because no one else will be. Like, in a way (and this is dumb) but even though I am a teenager, sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on being a teenager. Because I can't just let go and have fun like everyone else, its pretty sad actually. I always analyze every situation, like the good and bad about it before I'll do anything. Definitely not a risk taker. :-(
Ya, sometimes I hate when I finally feel like telling her something, and then she has to ask me 100 more question about it, rather then just listening and me telling her. I guess that's my control thing, because then I'll just stop talking and walk away like she ruined the opportunity, which is kind of mean. I know it kills them, it kills me too sometimes. But if only they were like you! LOL XD You just let me talk, and you listen and you like never ask me any questions, that's what I like, and need.
My other problem of the day, well there's this guy, and he likes me and well I kind of like him, lol, but I don't know if I'm ready or not for another relationship. The last one ended up really hurting me! So I get scared :$ :-( and he wants to do stuff with just me and not all our friends around, but then that terrifies me!
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Once again honey, it's about communication! Just say to him, "Just for now I would feel more comfortable if we were with our friends OK?" If he asks why, just say "LONG STORY!" If you think about it "Long Story" Can cut off MANY uncomfortable situations can't it?!!! 8-| XD
It is hard being a parent Claire - not as hard as being a teenager - but pretty close! You WANT and NEED to know what your kids are doing and thinking and then they give you a little bit of perhaps surprising information! And there is NO WAY you can sit there and let that little bit go un answered! As I say to my sons girl friends, IF you say "Mom I need to tell you something" So thet get ready for certain topics, then you tell them something they weren't ready for, they will blow and start asking a million questions! It's just normal, we - as parents - NEED to protect our children! So IF it sounds - from the little bit you gave them - that you could be in trouble, they will run with it! You and I talking is different, I'm just your cyber mom - ;-) , even though we connect, there is not that connection of parent and child! I get to hear what you say because we are basically anonymous with each other! BUT if your parents heard the same, they WOULD react - as would I! What a teenager needs and a parent of a teenager needs unfortunately are usually both ends of the spectrum!
Even say that to your mom Claire - tell her, you just need to say one thing and not be questioned, and negotiate! Get ground rules! Like we did Talk night - on Wednesdays - we would turn off the TV and no one could answer the phone! And we would talk about what was going on or bugging us - with NO reaction or bringing it up after! That was HARD!!! But it set the ground rules of us communicatng! There has to be boundries Claire in ALL relationships!
It is hard being a parent Claire - not as hard as being a teenager - but pretty close! You WANT and NEED to know what your kids are doing and thinking and then they give you a little bit of perhaps surprising information! And there is NO WAY you can sit there and let that little bit go un answered! As I say to my sons girl friends, IF you say "Mom I need to tell you something" So thet get ready for certain topics, then you tell them something they weren't ready for, they will blow and start asking a million questions! It's just normal, we - as parents - NEED to protect our children! So IF it sounds - from the little bit you gave them - that you could be in trouble, they will run with it! You and I talking is different, I'm just your cyber mom - ;-) , even though we connect, there is not that connection of parent and child! I get to hear what you say because we are basically anonymous with each other! BUT if your parents heard the same, they WOULD react - as would I! What a teenager needs and a parent of a teenager needs unfortunately are usually both ends of the spectrum!
Even say that to your mom Claire - tell her, you just need to say one thing and not be questioned, and negotiate! Get ground rules! Like we did Talk night - on Wednesdays - we would turn off the TV and no one could answer the phone! And we would talk about what was going on or bugging us - with NO reaction or bringing it up after! That was HARD!!! But it set the ground rules of us communicatng! There has to be boundries Claire in ALL relationships!
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I know, I'm not saying it's easy at all. I never tell her anything that would be surprising lol I would never tell her those things, she doesn't make it so I can. Like we never talk about boys, or periods, or sex, or parties or alcohol etc. But she never shares things with me either. Even when she was having surgery I was never really told about it or talked to about it. I found out from her talking on the phone with her sisters, or pamphlets that were lying around, like how sad is that!? or the biopsies she was going for, heard about it once from her telling my dad, but I don't know much more then that or whats going on right now and I hate that! She always hides stuff to, and the only thing I hear about is how her work is from the dinner table, or things that go on in her family (but only some things) She doesn't tell me things, and I don't tell her. Its pretty sad! But if I ask her questions she blows it off and says everything good, when I know its not always. So if she can't talk to me, how am I suppose to talk to her? I had to learn everything on my own...so I have this thing where I don't need them, and I'm independent. I learn a lot typing to you!! lol ... O and we will watch something on TV where a mother and daughter are close and call themselves "friends" and then she looks at me like "how come we can't be friends?" because your my MOTHER and moms are suppose to be moms, not their best friends, we have enough of them and just need a mom! but she doesn't get that.
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I'm friends with my boys! I'm their mom too! I want them too know that they can talk to me about ANYTHING! And they do! Do I tell THEM ANYTHING? - NO! Because I am the mom and my job is to protect them and nurture them! So that is why your mom does that to you! I have a rare cancer syndrome and it's serious, my boys don't know how serious though! As I don't want to worry them! Like I stated before Claire, I truly believe that your mom and your dad came from a critisizing and harsh families! So they don't want to be that way with you! BUT they don't have the tools to be different, so they just don't say anything - it's better then them saying the wrong thing! They know they've done wrong Claire, BUT how do you fix a light if you have no experience doing electrical jobs - right?!
Parenting books are by the thousands, BUT to actually parent and do it well is an ENTIRELY different thing! And a lot of us fail at it! Not from lack of trying though!
Parenting books are by the thousands, BUT to actually parent and do it well is an ENTIRELY different thing! And a lot of us fail at it! Not from lack of trying though!
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But at least you told your kids, and talk about it. My mom doesn't even do that, and if I ask her I get nothing. And if I get nothing, then I think it has to be really bad then, so I worry ten million times more, because I don't know whats going on. And I'll cry about it on my own. I'd rather just know. When she was in her late teens, she started to have thyroid problems, and when I was around 2, she found lumps on her neck and had to have surgery to remove her right thyroid and part of her left and I think the lump was cancerous. Well ever since then, just kind of found out, she goes to the hospital every six months for an ultrasound to make sure everything's okay. And I guess a few months ago they found a lump on the piece that's left, and so she had biopsies, and that's all I know...and I hate it. I don't know what the outcome was, and she never even told me any of that. At least your kids know what you have, sure they don't know all the details or whatever, but I don't even know that so I worry a lot! But she won't ever say anything. :-( And now I have problems with my thyroid, so I'm scared I'll get it too.
I saw Dinner for Schmucks today, and it is funny.
I saw Dinner for Schmucks today, and it is funny.
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Is it HILARIOUS funny or just kind of funny? Because I REALLY want to see it! We saw Hottub time machine a few weeks ago! WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!! >:(
Tonight I want you to say to your mom "Mom can we talk privately?" "Mom I am REALLY worried about your health, could you PLEASE tell me what is going on with you, I'm thinking ALL sorts and I can't stop thinking about it, and do I have a problem too?" She might REALLY want to talk to you, but doesn't know what to say!
Tonight I want you to say to your mom "Mom can we talk privately?" "Mom I am REALLY worried about your health, could you PLEASE tell me what is going on with you, I'm thinking ALL sorts and I can't stop thinking about it, and do I have a problem too?" She might REALLY want to talk to you, but doesn't know what to say!
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ummm....it was funny, like stupid funny, Steve Carell was funny though. The beginning was a little boring, but after that it was good. What is Hottub time machine? %-) I still really want to see grown-ups!
Ya, tonight is too late now XD should have read this sooner, but its 12:14 and shes in bed! lol as should I be. But maybe tomorrow.....Like I want to know, but I don't want to upset her. I know she doesn't want to talk about it because I asked her three times already and got blown off. My brother could probably care less, I don't even know if he's aware of whats going on, hes always in his own little world that only involves himself.
Ya, tonight is too late now XD should have read this sooner, but its 12:14 and shes in bed! lol as should I be. But maybe tomorrow.....Like I want to know, but I don't want to upset her. I know she doesn't want to talk about it because I asked her three times already and got blown off. My brother could probably care less, I don't even know if he's aware of whats going on, hes always in his own little world that only involves himself.
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Today I went to the doctors and then I convinced my mom to go out for lunch, I tried to convince her to do a pedicure with me because shes never had one ever but she said no. Well I tired talking with her, and she tried to change the subject so I told her to stop doing that and how I'm worried about her and she said everything was fine so don't worry >:( :-( so I'm never going to get through with that one.
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Now my dad is in another mood! He came home and slammed everything, refused to make dinner which he always makes dinner for when my mom gets home and we eat, and then she comes home and he like yells at her and my dog ran downstairs to see her and my dad threw a shoe at him so he ran upstairs to me, I want to take a f****** shoe and whip it at his head to bad just so he knows how it feels! I cleaned the whole house today because no one else ever does it and the only thing I wouldn't do is wash the dishes so now my mom is down there cooking and cleaning while he's being an a**. >:( not again! and my brother just left, wish he would have taken me with him. I know hes stressed out right now because something on my moms car just broke so she can't drive it, so its going to cost money to fix, so hes upset and stressed about that, but like why do you have to take it out on everyone else, like s**t happens and its no ones fault so calm down. Its ridiculous! Half the time my mom hides things like this from him because she knows he'll react like this, its pretty sad she can't even go to her own husband when things happen. I hope to God I never marry someone like him! Needed to vent because I'm stuck in my room trying to feed my dog but he's too scared to eat :-(
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I was miss informed as to why my dad moved out. Today he was still grumpy and stuff, and at dinner he acted like an a** so no one said a word till he went outside to smoke and then we started talking. My mom told my brother "please tell me you won't ever be like him" and my brother was like " o don't worry I won't ever be!" and then I said to my mom "no offense to you, but I hope I never marry someone like him" and she said "good! I hope you don't either". And I told her she can leave anytime she wants too, she almost cried. So then I kind of brought up a question as to why he moved out (trying to be like I wish I could too, and if it was so bad at home then why would he continue it here) and she said that one day my mom apparently didn't say hi to my Granddad (even though she did, she would always say hi she's not like that to not do that) but when she left, he grabbed a knife and threatened to hurt my dad, so he moved in with my Great Grandparents, and later they got their own apartment together, and he almost didn't go to their wedding. And my mom was saying how it wasn't the first time he was like that with my dad. Didn't know that till now. I want to say something to him so bad, but my mom told me not too. Because now he's in a phase that will last two weeks! My mom thinks right now he's feeling like c**p for the way he acted but doesn't know how to apologize and change it, so he just keeps on till things get "better". (but she can be like that too, say hurtful things and not say anything after, but o well) Its a really weird cycle, and I pray to God I will never be like that, I get scared I will be, because you know how people do what their parent's did and what they were "taught" later in life, it scares me. You know I was with a really really nice guy once...like the sweetest guy...and I broke up with him because I couldn't handle it! Like I have never been treated how he treated me and it was weird to me. Kind of felt like I didn't deserve it. And you know that saying 'girls marry guys like their fathers' I was like maybe that's why I can't be with you, he was nothing at all like my dad! He would never fit in with my family, like I never brought him over even though he wanted me too. And I would never fit in with his family, but yet we were kind of like the same, we both didn't fit in with our own families. His dad is a Minister, and wanted his sons to be one too, even though none of them wanted that. I felt so bad for him. But ya, totally just lost where I was going.... 8-| anyways, after him I was like going for the "bad boys" and got hurt...and now I'm lost...I want so badly for my life not to be like it is now, but somehow I'm scared it will be. But you keep me sane, because you were able to make that change, your like my rock! I desire to be like you and have the strength and will like you do. You have no idea, what you mean to me. Ya I sound crazy but whatever. It's true! :-D
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So I was fine today, feeling fine, and then at dinner my dad had to put me down for no reason. I still kind of give him the cold shoulder, because he hasn't apologized for anything hes done, and if I ask him something he won't answer me properly or he flat out ignores me, which is nothing new but I'm tired of it so now I'm doing the same thing and he gets mad. He still doesn't get it and won't ever get it. But then he put me down today and couldn't understand why I shut down, my mom did though but she never said anything. And my brother is just like my dad to me and I hate it. So I stoppped eating my dinner and just went upstairs. I'm so tired of it, like I really am! I'm so done of being misunderstood, or ignored and being put down!! I want out, I contemplated running away like a thousand times, like I want to crawl inside a hole and have everyone leave me alone and die. Great now I'm crying... I want out but I'm stuck, I have no where to go... :-( Watch, now I'll start eating when their not around and then hate myself more and then stop eating all together and then ya... it always goes that way...its so dumb, I feel like an Idoit. I was having a fine day till he had to go and ruin it. And now somehow I hate myself. >:( :'( I feel like there's something wrong with me. Is there? be honest.
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Hi honey! I am sorry I haven't been on - it wouldn't allow me for some reason! Anyway there is NOTHING wrong with you - honestly! There is, however, somthing VERY wrong with your dad! As I said before, you could tell from his actions that there was abuse in his family! And now I see what - his father - and he is following the same path and hates himself for it!
I am NOT asking you to understand your parents Claire! They are obviously VERY wounded people! That said you do NOT deserve this kind of treatment! I am impressed that your mom said something to you guys! I hope this continues and she says more and more! It is upto the individual to hcange the future! When you say that your dad doesn't like it when you do the same to him, in what way does he show this?
I am NOT asking you to understand your parents Claire! They are obviously VERY wounded people! That said you do NOT deserve this kind of treatment! I am impressed that your mom said something to you guys! I hope this continues and she says more and more! It is upto the individual to hcange the future! When you say that your dad doesn't like it when you do the same to him, in what way does he show this?
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