She HAS to listen to you Claire! I don't care if she gets upset or mad! This is HURTING you beyond her wildest dreams! So you NEED to say to her "Mom I am at the end of my rope with dad, and all I want to do is move out, but I don't want to leave you here and make you sad! BUT I can't take it anymore, do you hear ME mom?" "Why do we have to walk around on eggshells? Does he hit you mom? etc etc " And IF she gets mad at you, you just say "NO MORE Mom!! It's not fair that you get mad at me, for beings sick and tired of how dad is treating us! that's not fair, I have EVERY right to be mad and upset and want out!" Aslo so this "So is this it then Mom? we have to live like this day in and day out, because he hasn't smoked weekd today, so whem my brother moves out, then I will, what then mom, you are just going to stick with him and how he treats you etc?" "When I leave here mom, I WONT come back, you will have to come and see me! I don't ever want to be around him after I move out! And if something doesn't chance soon then I WILL talk to my friends or my aunts and move out!"
It does SO much damage Claire to keep it in honey - believe me!! Is he violent with you guys? Sounds like it! You DONT have to take this Claire! Long gone are the days of a child should be seen and not heard! Be careful, but be heard! IF you feel like you could possibly be hurt! You leave! NEVER poke the bear too much Claire! BUT that doesn't mean you also have to play dead all the time either!
Big hugs!
It does SO much damage Claire to keep it in honey - believe me!! Is he violent with you guys? Sounds like it! You DONT have to take this Claire! Long gone are the days of a child should be seen and not heard! Be careful, but be heard! IF you feel like you could possibly be hurt! You leave! NEVER poke the bear too much Claire! BUT that doesn't mean you also have to play dead all the time either!
Big hugs!
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He's not hurting me as bad as I'm hurting myself., but all of it together it just too much. Your home is suppose to be your sanctuary, and its not. No matter where I go, I can't get away from everything or myself.
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Claire! I want you to listen to me honey! I was an still am a 16 year old girl - JUST like you! What you are feeling I felt and to some degree still do! You are TOTALLY right in saying that your homes should be your sanctuary! BUT fo a lot os us, this is not the case!
NONE of this is your fault Claire! It is the people that have inflicted it on you! Unfortunately your situation is the norm >:( And what you have to realize is this, that you DO deserve more than this! And you HAVE to say what is going on! It is NOT right that your father and to some degree your mom are doing this!
Start talking to someone outside the family! Freinds, Aunts etc. Even IF it is 30 minutes away at least it is away! Even if it is for the night, write down everything that they are doing, and leave! YES I am talking about running away - BUT not on the street, but to a safe place! What I want from this is to have them read what they are doing to you! AND also for them to have to answer to other people! Dirty family secrets - such as abuse, neglect emtional battery etc, - is ALWAYS a hidden not talked about thing! That familys are desperate to keep inside the 4 walls!
My friends were my sanctuary Claire - we didn't have family here - and I would stay over there, I would leave the house and go there! EVERYONE in my street knew about my family - which added to the shame and upset! BUT at the same time it was a relief to just get the heck out of there! So know that too OK? I am VERY worried about your state of mind honey! And I want to be there for you, and wish I was in the house with you! BUT you have to stand up for yourself and get out of there! Has school started?
NONE of this is your fault Claire! It is the people that have inflicted it on you! Unfortunately your situation is the norm >:( And what you have to realize is this, that you DO deserve more than this! And you HAVE to say what is going on! It is NOT right that your father and to some degree your mom are doing this!
Start talking to someone outside the family! Freinds, Aunts etc. Even IF it is 30 minutes away at least it is away! Even if it is for the night, write down everything that they are doing, and leave! YES I am talking about running away - BUT not on the street, but to a safe place! What I want from this is to have them read what they are doing to you! AND also for them to have to answer to other people! Dirty family secrets - such as abuse, neglect emtional battery etc, - is ALWAYS a hidden not talked about thing! That familys are desperate to keep inside the 4 walls!
My friends were my sanctuary Claire - we didn't have family here - and I would stay over there, I would leave the house and go there! EVERYONE in my street knew about my family - which added to the shame and upset! BUT at the same time it was a relief to just get the heck out of there! So know that too OK? I am VERY worried about your state of mind honey! And I want to be there for you, and wish I was in the house with you! BUT you have to stand up for yourself and get out of there! Has school started?
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But its not just at home, and I don't have any where to go! I can't stay at my friends houses, because their parents I'm sure would not let me, and some of them are like my family, probably not as bad but still. And then I would be intruding on their lives, and I can't do that.
And my one friend, who I could have, and who I loved and who was my sister, left :'( because her family had to move away :'(
And for some reason I've been having sex! Ya don't ask, I don't know why, and its scary! And some of it, I don't even remember! How crazy is that!?
And school, I'm dreading! I don't want to see my ex! I've gone a while without seeing him and that was good! But I start on the 7th and I don't want to see him!
So ya, its everything all at once and I don't know whats going on anymore.
And my one friend, who I could have, and who I loved and who was my sister, left :'( because her family had to move away :'(
And for some reason I've been having sex! Ya don't ask, I don't know why, and its scary! And some of it, I don't even remember! How crazy is that!?
And school, I'm dreading! I don't want to see my ex! I've gone a while without seeing him and that was good! But I start on the 7th and I don't want to see him!
So ya, its everything all at once and I don't know whats going on anymore.
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OK! Lets address this sex thing please?! With whom are you having this! And what do you mean you can't remember? Are you drinking etc? Tell me what's going on Claire! I can help you with this I promise! and I can also explain to you whats going on!
Talk to your friends mom and dad, tell them it's bad - the will understand I promise! And that you need some space! We have taken in a LOT of kids over the years - just for one night or a couple of days! One boy we were going to adopt! So don't ever think that you will be a burden to them! Parents GET IT! Claire! Honest!
Talk to your friends mom and dad, tell them it's bad - the will understand I promise! And that you need some space! We have taken in a LOT of kids over the years - just for one night or a couple of days! One boy we were going to adopt! So don't ever think that you will be a burden to them! Parents GET IT! Claire! Honest!
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I don't really know! I just remember being really scared :'( and I just don't remember parts of it. I can't even explain it, like I wasn't even there but I was.
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I understand! Can you tell me with whom and when and where? And you said "I've been having sex" As in plural! Who with honey! Have you been touched by your family members?
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So it's just been one guy! And you forget after each time? Honest Claire, tell me what happens, I CAN and WILL help you with this! I can tell you more but I want to be on the same page first! No one knows who you are OR you can PM me!
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You said you don't remember etc. So I need to know IF it is violent, if you have flash backs, how do you feel about this guy and after the sex? I am worried about you mentioning that you "forget"
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Dawn, I can't send an e-mail for some reason it won't let me, but I don't think I can be on at 7, I need to get out but I will probably be on at 10. If its too late for you then don't worry, sorry.
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look, i live the same stuff,but i dont think that they love my older sister more than me.i just think that they dont love me and im very lonley with no one to love me.i never new other peeps went through the same thing as me!!! right now my mom is being really mean to me. and i hate both my parents.i want a new life! a totally new one.im about to loose all of my tears.well, bye:'(
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Hi!
Well your right, your definitely not alone! I'm still struggling with the same things and it is hard. I too wanted a new life, but I'm learning to be happy with the one I have. And hopefully you will too.
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
Well your right, your definitely not alone! I'm still struggling with the same things and it is hard. I too wanted a new life, but I'm learning to be happy with the one I have. And hopefully you will too.
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
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