emotional recovery after abortion

hi there

The constant searching on the internet for an answer to help me led me to your post.
I had an abortion 7 weeks ago this monday and even though it was the right choice for my partner and myself i still feel guilt and wonder what he or she would have been like, what my baby looked like at the time i made the decission........... emotional head ache!!! i have days where i want to cry and days where i think i made the right decission and tell myself to stop your heart aching and pull yourself together what is done is done ! but my head is still in two places though.

I think the reason i feel like this is because it was a life and part of me and i can not tell her/ him that i am so sorry and why i made that choice, i can not turn back time even though it was the right choice i made and mostly i feel guilty because i was not ready...........

I know i will eventually feel better and you will to, but the hardest thing is not telling your family, i am ashamed to as i feel i let them down and let myself down i guess as i know i would be a great mum but it's not the right time yet.

How you feel made me realise i am not alone, crazy and weird !! thank you for that.

I guess the only advice i can give is take each day as it comes and try to forgive yourself xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi,
I just read your post and I feel the same. It makes me feel better that I am not alone. I had an abortion 4 weeks ago and I was 8 weeks pregnant. I wanted to keep it, but knew it was not the right timing. For some reason, I just can't get over it and move on. It's all I think about and I am scared that I regret my decision and I can't undo what has already been done. I usually break down and cry at least once a day and I just don't know how to move on with my life. I feel so sad inside.

I knew straight away that I wanted an abortion. my bf is opening up his own business and Im wanting to go to university (allthough now Ive had the rejection letters from each uni!- ah well) I had mine on a thursday. I was put to sleep and woke up with the worst pain in my stomache i have ever felt. I had to have a seposatory for the pain, i responded very poorly to the anaesthetic, being sick three times, dizzy and emotionally drained as from 7:30am until 3pm my bf was not permitted to be with me on the ward, in the waiting room, nowhere. I was in a line of girls on their beds where they were coming round and crying coz of the cramping in the stomache, whilst I myself was hitched up to a drip because my blood pressure fell so low.
throughout that whole experience, the worst was the fact that I was passed from room to room and from nurse to nurse and all I could think about was the fact that my bf was sat outside in a car whilst I was emotionally distraught, physically drained and going through the worst pain I have ever had for a good 30 mins before the nurses gave me the pain killer.
since then i have been an emotional wreck. I tried to tell my bf what had happened but his mind is so occupied on his business, or maybe he doesnt want to hear because it might have affected him seeing me so upset when i got out, he hasnt spoken to me about it or shown any interest in letting me talk about it. It was probably the worst day of my life. And a week on I am emotionally up and down like a roller coaster that I cant get off.
Im trying so hard to smile and just be me, but the slightest thing brings me to tears will this ever stop? I used to be so happy. Maybe I should go on anti-depressants, but isnt that messing your homones up more?

I do not know about the anti-depressants. I found that this website and
couseling helped me get a grip on my emotions. I had an abortion in February
and I was emotionally distraught. I cried everyday and was
so depressed I could not even get out of bed. That day was the worst day of my
entire life. As time goes on, it gets better. I don't think I will be able to ever fully
forgive myself for my actions. I was so thankful for finding this website to know that
other women were going through similiar situations. Just take one day at a time and
if you are comfortable, get couseling. It helped me tremendously. Good Luck.

The same thing happend to me. I am so angry and hurt. I cry every day. I will never be the same.

I had an abortion over 12 years ago and then 10 years ago.  I was under tremendous pressures due to impossible family expectations and no support from the father.  Well, I regret it every single day.  I am sad about it every single day.  I still cry about it, when I start thinking about it.  My advice: if you truly don't want a child and are doing with full will and as your own decision, then that's something you can work through.  If doing it out of guilt/fear/financial uncertainty with those associated feelings then don't do it.  I  finished my studies, doing so while having children (medical field - graduate level).  The finances worked themselves out.  No matter what I do my family has always held me to impossible standards and are very hard on me.  No matter what I do,  I am judged.  Baby or not, it would not have made a difference.  But my guilt.  It is forever within me.  Not them.  Not anyone else.  If I could have chosen another path at that time.  If.  I caved into guilt and I will forever pay for it no matter how financially successful I am, how beautiful my home is, etc and etc.  It's a horrible feeling.

Hey, a little over a week passed since my abortion. I when from the moment I found out I wanted to abort, but still, today all the emotions are hitting me. Not sure what to do and how to feel, but I'm sure letting my tears flow is the best I can do.