Hello, robin.
It seems that you have some sort of phobia. I'll try to give you some advice but, it would be a good idea to seek professional help.
You must form a bond with your family members, because they will be your main support.
Do some fun things, go on camping with friends, go hiking, cycling, start to exercise some sports (volleyball is great for girls). Try to concentrate on other things, read books (depending on what you love, I can recommend you Harry Potter books, Alice in Wonderlands, Lord of the Rings,...), watch TV-shows (which is aired in regular intervals).
Eat healthy and don't smoke or drink.
I really hope you can overcome your state. Maybe it will need time, but I think that you're strong enough.
After all, it takes courage to confess to yourself that you have a problem. If you have any more question, feel free to ask.
Cheers!