Believe me, I've been there!! I've been off the pill since feb (about 6 months ago) and I thought me and my boyfriend were doomed. I got so depressed and thought he was the cause. But now that my symptoms have mostly all went away, I am getting back to being in love. I felt like this depression and anxiety blurred my reality. I questioned everything in my life, including my boyfriend. But he stuck by me. No matter how i was feeling he was there for me. I hope your boyfriend is doing the same. And you can look at it as a new chance to fall in love all over again.
All Dr.'s want to do is push anti dep or anit anxiety meds. It's annoying! I refused them and I'm so glad I did. I listened to my body and only YOU know how your feeling. Your so welcome and I'm happy to help even to make you feel a tiny bit better. I know finding this forum was the BEST and I tell all my friends about it. You'd be surprised the amount of women who go through the SAME thing but never say anything or know why they are going through it.
Hi kon,
Thanks for your reply, yeh its four months tomorrow im off the pill altogether, the Panic Attacks have went away and the depression has lifted....but i just get emotional now and again because of the negative thoughts thats all.
You are totally right about the rest of my life and i will look back at ths and think jesus that was mad what i went through ha
Thanks for your reply, yeh its four months tomorrow im off the pill altogether, the Panic Attacks have went away and the depression has lifted....but i just get emotional now and again because of the negative thoughts thats all.
You are totally right about the rest of my life and i will look back at ths and think jesus that was mad what i went through ha
Yeh thats exactly what happened to me i was put on xanex and then they put me on anti-dep but they made me worse the xanex were helping me through my bad time and now and the moment im weaning myself off them because i DO NOT wanna be dependened on them ya know.
Like i went to see my gyno last week and i think dr's are not allowed say there are side effects because i told her that i was feeling awful and not myself depressed and i asked her is there side effects and she hesitated and said NO but just give yourself another 2 months which will be 6 months and see how u feel. Then i was thinking why is she saying give myself two months if there is not side effects ha.
Like i went to see my gyno last week and i think dr's are not allowed say there are side effects because i told her that i was feeling awful and not myself depressed and i asked her is there side effects and she hesitated and said NO but just give yourself another 2 months which will be 6 months and see how u feel. Then i was thinking why is she saying give myself two months if there is not side effects ha.
Awww emily that is right on the ball with me i convinced myself he was the cause of everything and thats why my negative thinking is all about him. I feel sometimes numb around him like im in a daze, if i snap at him i get so upset and i feel so guilty about everything. Its like some days im so in love and then my bad days im back to questioning everything to do with him.
He has stuck by me and he supports me with everything i couldnt ask for a more supportive boyfriend honestly he is amazing
He has stuck by me and he supports me with everything i couldnt ask for a more supportive boyfriend honestly he is amazing
I just got home and saw that several of you were discussing the feelings you have for your significant others and thought I should weigh in. I've been engaged since March (getting married in 3 weeks) to the most amazing man, who I've dated for a year and known for 10 years. Anyway, the month of June is when I went through the whole mess of coming off of the birth control pills. Because I was close to a huge change in my life (marriage), it makes sense to me now that I centered the negativity on him. I questioned everything...I mean absolutely everything. The funny thing is (well, it's funny in hindsight) that I really had to try very hard to put a negative spin on it. For example, I thought things like, "maybe I'm just comfortable with him and that's why we're together" or "maybe we don't have enough passion" or "maybe I'm meant to be single forever". It was ridiculous. The thing that helped cure me of my doubts about the marriage, however, were a few online quizzes. The quizzes were the ones designed to differentiate "cold feet" from a serious relationship issue. On quiz after quiz I was scored as having "cold feet", meaning that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship, I was just freaking myself out. While that didn't take away the bad days, it did give me some bit of comfort because logic told me that I truly loved him deep down, and that my feelings were likely to return. They did, and I do feel that all the pain was worth it because I now feel like we can make it through anything if we made it through that!
Hi girls,
Just thought I'd give a quick update to how I'm doing!
Well I've had a good week felt so good in love and just happy with life in general. Today I was grand but later in the evening I started to feel slightly anxious because those negative thoughts started trickling in again, I was trying to have a nice evening with my boyfriend and these negative thoughts started filling my head like "oh your only staying with him because your so comfortable with him" and then I'm thinking "should there be more passion with us" these are all things I never questioned before and my head is wrecked with these thoughts I just want them to go away.
I have the most amazing boyfriend ever like we are goin to Florida in October and we are talking about getting engaged over there i was so happy i said yes id love that and when we talked about it I was having a great day and now because I'm feeling anxious my negative thoughts are saying now " oh do you really want to marry him"
Just want this all to go away girls it's awful!
Just thought I'd give a quick update to how I'm doing!
Well I've had a good week felt so good in love and just happy with life in general. Today I was grand but later in the evening I started to feel slightly anxious because those negative thoughts started trickling in again, I was trying to have a nice evening with my boyfriend and these negative thoughts started filling my head like "oh your only staying with him because your so comfortable with him" and then I'm thinking "should there be more passion with us" these are all things I never questioned before and my head is wrecked with these thoughts I just want them to go away.
I have the most amazing boyfriend ever like we are goin to Florida in October and we are talking about getting engaged over there i was so happy i said yes id love that and when we talked about it I was having a great day and now because I'm feeling anxious my negative thoughts are saying now " oh do you really want to marry him"
Just want this all to go away girls it's awful!
Hang in there JammyDodgers! I don't know if this will help or not, but I've noticed that a majority of my dips in mood occur in the evening. I don't know if there is a physical explanation for this or not. Just try to stay busy and not allow yourself the time to think those thoughts. You can also repeat a quote from your "happy letter" to yourself as a reminder that it will pass.
My update is that I feel nearly back to normal. I say nearly because this is PMS week for me and I have had a few more dips in mood and negative thoughts. One more pattern I've noticed, and maybe you have too, is that I get better with each cycle. For example, the first cycle off was torture. The second cycle was still bad, but I could see improvement. And this cycle has been my best yet.
I hope everyone is doing well. Please remember to give us your updates, especially if you feel completely healed. We all need a reminder that we'll feel better eventually :)
My update is that I feel nearly back to normal. I say nearly because this is PMS week for me and I have had a few more dips in mood and negative thoughts. One more pattern I've noticed, and maybe you have too, is that I get better with each cycle. For example, the first cycle off was torture. The second cycle was still bad, but I could see improvement. And this cycle has been my best yet.
I hope everyone is doing well. Please remember to give us your updates, especially if you feel completely healed. We all need a reminder that we'll feel better eventually :)
Hello everyone this is Paper Star,
Have not written in some time but would like to post an update. It has been 7 months since off the Nuvaring, about 2-ish since these feelings cropped up. Lately I have been feeling better, less terrible doubtful thoughts, less menacing cyclical depressive thoughts about my relationship.
I am now seeing a great therapist who is helping me through this issue as well as some others. I'm happy to say that things are going well so far :)
However I still get those time when those thoughts are crippling and I feel this crushing guilt when I look at my boyfriend... the same all of you have been feeling :(
@JenniferE
I have noticed lately that I too have had those feelings resurface later in the day, after 5-ish when I leave work. I thought it was quite strange and then I thought that maybe it had something to do with the antidepressant I'm taking (I take it in the morning and then maybe later in the day its not working as well or something???). Its interesting we've both noticed this...
I want to reiterate to everyone not to listen to that nagging voice because it will sabotage you. Its extremely hard but we have to hold on to that hope that we love our significant others and never want to be without them!!
Like all of you I hope to someday marry my boyfriend and have children. I'm fighting this as hard as I can because I know in my heart thats what I truly want!!
Keep fighting girls we can all beat this I know it!!
Hey girls,
Just thought I'd give an update since my last harrowing posts a couple pages back (you can read for yourselves what a mess I was just a mere few weeks ago)...well I'm approaching my fourth cycle pill free and I have to say the past couple of days have been the best I've ever felt since this whole horrible ordeal. I really don't want to jinx anything, and I certainly don't think I'm completely healed, but many of my horrible symptoms (weird anxiety/depression/feeling "out of it") have significantly diminished. It's strange. It was like I woke up one day and suddenly wasn't focused on this whole horrible thing anymore. I mean I would CONSTANTLY think about my anxiety and how I was feeling ALL DAY EVERY DAY. It consumed me. But these past few days it's like this odd feeling of "normalcy" came over me...it's VERY hard to describe...I can only say that I kinda feel like the "old me" if that makes any sense. I am hoping that I'm feeling this way because my hormones are starting to regulate and function somewhat normally. Again, this is around the 4 month range, and from what I've been hearing, some girls start feeling a little better around this time.
I will continue to take this day by day, and am trying not to get my hopes up, because who knows how I'll feel THIS week, but at least this has given me some hope! I wanted to share this with you all because it seems like there is light at the end of this very dark tunnel!
To take extra precautions, though, I am still going to see a therapist (today in fact, first time) and I still want to get blood work done.
The most insane thing to me is how much coming off the pills has messed with my head these past few months...it's pretty scary when you think about it.
Hang in there girls...I hope this post has offered a glimmer of hope. I'll keep you all updated with my progress...which I PRAY I continue to make.
Stay strong.
Heather
Just thought I'd give an update since my last harrowing posts a couple pages back (you can read for yourselves what a mess I was just a mere few weeks ago)...well I'm approaching my fourth cycle pill free and I have to say the past couple of days have been the best I've ever felt since this whole horrible ordeal. I really don't want to jinx anything, and I certainly don't think I'm completely healed, but many of my horrible symptoms (weird anxiety/depression/feeling "out of it") have significantly diminished. It's strange. It was like I woke up one day and suddenly wasn't focused on this whole horrible thing anymore. I mean I would CONSTANTLY think about my anxiety and how I was feeling ALL DAY EVERY DAY. It consumed me. But these past few days it's like this odd feeling of "normalcy" came over me...it's VERY hard to describe...I can only say that I kinda feel like the "old me" if that makes any sense. I am hoping that I'm feeling this way because my hormones are starting to regulate and function somewhat normally. Again, this is around the 4 month range, and from what I've been hearing, some girls start feeling a little better around this time.
I will continue to take this day by day, and am trying not to get my hopes up, because who knows how I'll feel THIS week, but at least this has given me some hope! I wanted to share this with you all because it seems like there is light at the end of this very dark tunnel!
To take extra precautions, though, I am still going to see a therapist (today in fact, first time) and I still want to get blood work done.
The most insane thing to me is how much coming off the pills has messed with my head these past few months...it's pretty scary when you think about it.
Hang in there girls...I hope this post has offered a glimmer of hope. I'll keep you all updated with my progress...which I PRAY I continue to make.
Stay strong.
Heather
Hello! I have to say that of all the posts i've read in the last week this one has made me feel the best.
I have been on OTC for about 9 months. For the most part I havent noticed anything, until maybe the last 4-5 months. I have over all just been more emotional and crying for what seems to be no reason. I have been under a considerable amount of stress in that time (My mom overcoming a drug addiction, my sister having a brain tumor and going through radiation, some of my stuff getting stolen, going through finals, moving 5 states away from home...) And the last 3 months my period had been starting earlier and earlier and lasting for up to 9 days. Last month I was getting terrible dizzy spells that lasted the entire duration of the last week of the active pills. And then this month, while my period actually started on time, as soon as I hit the inactive pills I got depressed.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months and I love him with my whole heart. And I know I do. I've been about 1,000 miles away from him for about 7 weeks. Leaving him was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. I couldnt stop crying the day before, the day of and the day after I left. We would skype and I would be so utterly in love with him that it would actually bring me to tears. And then completely out of nowhere, on the inactive week of OTC, I started feeling empty towards him. He is coming to me to drive home with me in about a week and I was so excited... and then when that emptiness set in i wasnt excited anymore. I just know it has to be the birth control.
How could i go from being head over heels in love with him to feeling nothing?! It didnt make sense. I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only one feeling like this towards the men we KNOW we love. Its so hard, because I have NEVER ever in my life loved someone so much. Not my family or anyone. I want to take care of him and be taken care of... So these feelings came out of nowhere.
And I have been quite depressed. I have felt anti social, crying for no reason, unmotivated, wanting to sleep all the time, no appetite, and of course the empty feelings (which is the worst.) Im not sure if im depressed because im feeling this way about my love, or if im depressed which is making me feel like that. I'm sure its that I'm depressed which is making me feel like that.
I'm still taking the pills, in fact i started a new pack early in hopes that it would help me feel better. and it has helped a tiny bit... but still not great. I would really like to go off of BC, but I also dont want to have to use condoms (which is silly I know... But I dont like them and neither does he. He has told me that if i have to go off of BC that he would of course support me and we will figure it out. He has even offered to help pay for and IUD if I decide thats whats right. And i'm questioning my love for this man, WHY?!)
Anyways, this is just a big long exhale of emotions. I just want to feel normal again!
I have been on OTC for about 9 months. For the most part I havent noticed anything, until maybe the last 4-5 months. I have over all just been more emotional and crying for what seems to be no reason. I have been under a considerable amount of stress in that time (My mom overcoming a drug addiction, my sister having a brain tumor and going through radiation, some of my stuff getting stolen, going through finals, moving 5 states away from home...) And the last 3 months my period had been starting earlier and earlier and lasting for up to 9 days. Last month I was getting terrible dizzy spells that lasted the entire duration of the last week of the active pills. And then this month, while my period actually started on time, as soon as I hit the inactive pills I got depressed.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months and I love him with my whole heart. And I know I do. I've been about 1,000 miles away from him for about 7 weeks. Leaving him was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. I couldnt stop crying the day before, the day of and the day after I left. We would skype and I would be so utterly in love with him that it would actually bring me to tears. And then completely out of nowhere, on the inactive week of OTC, I started feeling empty towards him. He is coming to me to drive home with me in about a week and I was so excited... and then when that emptiness set in i wasnt excited anymore. I just know it has to be the birth control.
How could i go from being head over heels in love with him to feeling nothing?! It didnt make sense. I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only one feeling like this towards the men we KNOW we love. Its so hard, because I have NEVER ever in my life loved someone so much. Not my family or anyone. I want to take care of him and be taken care of... So these feelings came out of nowhere.
And I have been quite depressed. I have felt anti social, crying for no reason, unmotivated, wanting to sleep all the time, no appetite, and of course the empty feelings (which is the worst.) Im not sure if im depressed because im feeling this way about my love, or if im depressed which is making me feel like that. I'm sure its that I'm depressed which is making me feel like that.
I'm still taking the pills, in fact i started a new pack early in hopes that it would help me feel better. and it has helped a tiny bit... but still not great. I would really like to go off of BC, but I also dont want to have to use condoms (which is silly I know... But I dont like them and neither does he. He has told me that if i have to go off of BC that he would of course support me and we will figure it out. He has even offered to help pay for and IUD if I decide thats whats right. And i'm questioning my love for this man, WHY?!)
Anyways, this is just a big long exhale of emotions. I just want to feel normal again!
Amber, I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with all of this, but I'm glad you found this forum. You aren't alone :) You have every right to do what's best for your body. Only you know what's right for you. Now, having said that, I think it's great that your boyfriend supports you. After I went through the torture of going off of birth control pills, I decided I could never risk my mental health again, and my fiancé agreed. It's not an easy road going off of the pills, but after everything I've experienced, I'm so glad that I did. I figure that I was going to feel lousy either way, it was just a matter of whether or not I wanted to delay the inevitable. And now, after a few months off of the pills, I can feel my normal self coming back. It didn't feel worth it during the bad days, but it sure does now :)
I started doing some research after coming off the pill, and discovered that while most forms of hormonal birth control are convenient, they also have more possible side effects than non-hormonal contraception. Some promising non-hormonal contraception I've look into are: copper IUD's, condoms, diaphragms, cervical cups, sponges, female condoms, and natural family planning. Also, something I discovered while reading another similar forum was the Lady-Comp, which is expensive, but sounds like a great option.
Anyway, let us know how we can help. I think we've all formed our own ways of coping, and hopefully our stories can help you recover as well :)
I started doing some research after coming off the pill, and discovered that while most forms of hormonal birth control are convenient, they also have more possible side effects than non-hormonal contraception. Some promising non-hormonal contraception I've look into are: copper IUD's, condoms, diaphragms, cervical cups, sponges, female condoms, and natural family planning. Also, something I discovered while reading another similar forum was the Lady-Comp, which is expensive, but sounds like a great option.
Anyway, let us know how we can help. I think we've all formed our own ways of coping, and hopefully our stories can help you recover as well :)
Here is my story:<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
I was put on birth control at the age of 16 to stabilize my terrible menstrual cycles (crippling cramps, hemorrhaging, and severe anemia). I am now 32, have been married for 3 years and would give anything to be a mom. In between the age of 16 and my current age, I suffered a great deal as well. Ovarian cysts, endometriosis, fibroid tumor, ect. So my Dr. knew I would not have an easy road to conceiving. My husband and I decided to stop BC at the end of January 2012. It has been 6 months and I still have not had a menstrual cycle on my own since then. I was given a 7 day regimen of progesterone to jump start my menstrual cycle and since then I have become some person that I do not recognize. Here are just some of the symptoms I have been experiencing:
Erratic heartbeat
Rapid weight loss (9 pounds in 3 weeks)
Uncontrollable sobbing
Irrational thoughts
Solitary
Feelings of helplessness
Feelings of wanting to run away so everyone else can have a better life
Short term memory loss
These symptoms look so weird typed out since this is not who I am. To make it even worse I have been coping by drinking which makes my symptoms go away for the time being, but also intensifies the symptoms the next day. I feel so bad for my husband because he does not understand which in turn makes him not very helpful. How do I get him to understand? I keep thinking to myself how in the world will I be a good mother and fix a booboo when I cannot even fix myself? It is comforting to know that other women are experiencing some of the same things, however I am at my 6 month mark and my symptoms are getting worse. – feeling helpless
Thank you so much! I'll try to keep everyone updated.
This kind of freaks me out... Because it basically says that you only think you chose the right mate while on bc... But really its not. :-/