I've been with my fiance for 9 years (we've been engaged for 1 year). Through his understanding and our teamwork, we kept my promise to myself...I remained a virgin (he's only had one sexual partner, and that was when he was 20 yrs. old. He's now 31). Yay!
I know that my fiance sacrificed a lot to wait for me, so I want to be the best lover I can be for both of us. Don't get me wrong...we've done a LOT of other things, and we're very comfortable with each other in bed. It's just that now that I know the day that I'm going to finally take the plunge with him (our wedding night), I'm getting a bit nervous and scared.
I really don't like pain, so I'd rather know the truth. I use tampons (up to the maximum absorbency) and he has digitally penetrated me before.
I can't wait to be with him (finally), but I'm apprehensive. I've never loved anyone this much in my life, and I am SO READY to be his wife, so I want us to enjoy this as much as we can under the circumstances.
Here are my questions:
1. Honestly, how much is this going to hurt?
2. Is there a specific position that would be best for us this first time?
3. How can I make it as good as I can for him?
4. How can I make it as good as I can for me?
Thanks so much. Can't wait to read your replies!
I know that my fiance sacrificed a lot to wait for me, so I want to be the best lover I can be for both of us. Don't get me wrong...we've done a LOT of other things, and we're very comfortable with each other in bed. It's just that now that I know the day that I'm going to finally take the plunge with him (our wedding night), I'm getting a bit nervous and scared.
I really don't like pain, so I'd rather know the truth. I use tampons (up to the maximum absorbency) and he has digitally penetrated me before.
I can't wait to be with him (finally), but I'm apprehensive. I've never loved anyone this much in my life, and I am SO READY to be his wife, so I want us to enjoy this as much as we can under the circumstances.
Here are my questions:
1. Honestly, how much is this going to hurt?
2. Is there a specific position that would be best for us this first time?
3. How can I make it as good as I can for him?
4. How can I make it as good as I can for me?
Thanks so much. Can't wait to read your replies!
it doesnt hurt...its the best thing and feeling in the world
if you've done a lot of things, it wont hurt. and i hope you really enjoy it.
BEST WISHES
and i respect you for not having sex, with the soceity we live in today, it must be hard.
BEST WISHES
and i respect you for not having sex, with the soceity we live in today, it must be hard.
Hi again. Thanks very much for your advice and encouragement. I really hope that it won't hurt (too much - LOL). I've had some people tell me that it will be less painful and more comfortable for me to be on top the first time, but I've always envisioned us in the missionary position when I lose my virginity. But hey. Visions can change for the sake of comfort - LOL.
Do y'all have any tips on this kind of thing?
Thanks again!
Do y'all have any tips on this kind of thing?
Thanks again!
I think being on top hurts more. Honey... it's sex, enjoy it. you'll like it. oh, tell him to figure you first and a lot. so when the penis goes in it, ur already kind of strength out. condoms makes it go in faster. honestly honey, when your having it. you'll wish it hurts more.
the best thing is to feel really relaxed. you obviously love him loads - so don't put the pressure on to have sex on your wedding night - just 'see if it happens' then - that way you won't feel as much pressure and it will be less painful. i was in the same situation and it didn't hurt at all when i first did it, although there was a small amount of blood (non-painful). x
Aimeelynn,
I have a lot of respect for you too and congrats on everything. I agree with one of the other responders. Dont be pressured to have sex on your wedding night. That is going to be a very busy day for you both and pressure is the last thing that you need.
1. It may hurt and it may not. The fact that you use tampons and that the two of you have done sexual things will reduce pain already. I will not ask if he has a large penis or not but the bigger it is naturally the more you will feel it. (Dont be alarmed if you bleed. Its normal.) Just relax yourself and your vaginal muscles and make sure that you are very wet.
2. I would NOT suggest that you get on top. Now that does hurt sometimes people who have been having sex for years still.
*I think missionary is best for losing your virginity too. Just relax, open your legs wide and let your husband inside of you. It is a beautiful thing.
3. To make it better for him just let it happen. If it hurts just let him keep going. You have to get it over with one day and slowly that pain (if you experience any) will turn into pleasure. I promise. Guys get frustrated when girls keep complaining about how much it hurts and they really hate it when females keep stopping them.
4. That's about it. The sex will be good no matter what because the two of you are very much in love. Sex is not just physical it is heavily attached to emotions for men and woman. Be open with him about your likes, dislikes and sexual desires and make sure that he expresses his too.
I am a firm believer of keeping the lines of communication about everything open. Good luck.
I have a lot of respect for you too and congrats on everything. I agree with one of the other responders. Dont be pressured to have sex on your wedding night. That is going to be a very busy day for you both and pressure is the last thing that you need.
1. It may hurt and it may not. The fact that you use tampons and that the two of you have done sexual things will reduce pain already. I will not ask if he has a large penis or not but the bigger it is naturally the more you will feel it. (Dont be alarmed if you bleed. Its normal.) Just relax yourself and your vaginal muscles and make sure that you are very wet.
2. I would NOT suggest that you get on top. Now that does hurt sometimes people who have been having sex for years still.
*I think missionary is best for losing your virginity too. Just relax, open your legs wide and let your husband inside of you. It is a beautiful thing.
3. To make it better for him just let it happen. If it hurts just let him keep going. You have to get it over with one day and slowly that pain (if you experience any) will turn into pleasure. I promise. Guys get frustrated when girls keep complaining about how much it hurts and they really hate it when females keep stopping them.
4. That's about it. The sex will be good no matter what because the two of you are very much in love. Sex is not just physical it is heavily attached to emotions for men and woman. Be open with him about your likes, dislikes and sexual desires and make sure that he expresses his too.
I am a firm believer of keeping the lines of communication about everything open. Good luck.
An adult person who cares about you at all will NOT get frustrated because you say it hurts. Be VERY communicative. You might have (rare) some physical issue which causes pain. I agree: don't force it on your wedding night. Experiment. Optimally, gently, slowly, softly use several different positions.
Use lubricant. Use time. You have the rest of your lives. Don't start out your love-making by "letting" it hurt. That's stupid. He's waited a decade for you. Intercourse has been a long time for him too.
Make it about your love for each other, not some silly physical thing about getting it over with.
How much more hurt and wronged will he feel to know you let him hurt you? Take charge of your sexuality. You are responsible for protecting your body for him, and he for you. Let him love you through touching your body, not through allowing him to "take his pleasure." He can masturbate for that.
Yes, there might be some initial pain, but work through it TOGETHER. Don't "suffer" silently. Don't order him around or yell. But don't lie either. Make it okay for both of you to tell each other your needs.
You love him, right? Let him love you too.
Use lubricant. Use time. You have the rest of your lives. Don't start out your love-making by "letting" it hurt. That's stupid. He's waited a decade for you. Intercourse has been a long time for him too.
Make it about your love for each other, not some silly physical thing about getting it over with.
How much more hurt and wronged will he feel to know you let him hurt you? Take charge of your sexuality. You are responsible for protecting your body for him, and he for you. Let him love you through touching your body, not through allowing him to "take his pleasure." He can masturbate for that.
Yes, there might be some initial pain, but work through it TOGETHER. Don't "suffer" silently. Don't order him around or yell. But don't lie either. Make it okay for both of you to tell each other your needs.
You love him, right? Let him love you too.
ok, i know im young, but i have had sex. it doesnt hurt too bad. Just like the pressure from it going in. after the first couple of penetrations it shouldnt hurt too bad. oh yeah and being on top hurts WAY worse!
Hi brittany,
It all varies from person to person. It is the same with sexual positions.
But also I agree with you that firs couple of times it is not the same as after.
Have you had some bigger problems when you first had sex?
It all varies from person to person. It is the same with sexual positions.
But also I agree with you that firs couple of times it is not the same as after.
Have you had some bigger problems when you first had sex?
this is brittany, i am on guest because i cant sign in at the moment. but yeah when i have had sex there has been probs. the first guy, i only had sex with him once and there was NO blood. but my bf now the first like 10 times i bled just a lil bit and had some abdominal pain, but other than that thats it.
1. Honestly, how much is this going to hurt?
2. Is there a specific position that would be best for us this first time?
3. How can I make it as good as I can for him?
4. How can I make it as good as I can for me?
1. It will hurt, but it's not that painful. If you do feel pain, ask him to go slow. It will feel better if he does it slow on the first time.
2. Missionary would be best :-) have fun.
3&4 Honestly, it different for everyone. It's all up to you two. When you're in pleasure there's no such thing as plans, you'll just go with the flow, however you feel like doing :-)
Good luck to you both. Im happy for you.
2. Is there a specific position that would be best for us this first time?
3. How can I make it as good as I can for him?
4. How can I make it as good as I can for me?
1. It will hurt, but it's not that painful. If you do feel pain, ask him to go slow. It will feel better if he does it slow on the first time.
2. Missionary would be best :-) have fun.
3&4 Honestly, it different for everyone. It's all up to you two. When you're in pleasure there's no such thing as plans, you'll just go with the flow, however you feel like doing :-)
Good luck to you both. Im happy for you.
Really??? How did it happen without getting hurt?