It came to my attention by a fellow poster, that I could maybe supply from advice for anyone with feelings of shame of guilt when it comes to Masturbating, so I took it upon myself to do a but of typing.
Here is a description of my experiences, and how I over came them. Alone with some other advice.
My Masturbating Life
I will admit, I went through a stage myself when I was embarrassed, and ashamed of what I was doing, I was getting these urges, normally in bed alone, or watching TV on the couch etc, if I touched myself a certain way, or rubbed up against something, I just got this feeling inside that wanted more. It took me awhile to face these urgencies and realize it was something that just happens. So I began to touch, and fondle myself, never told anyone and did it in the privacy of my room, or when I made sure I was completely alone.
I never did anything more than touching for the first little while, I was young, about 14, 13 maybe. About a year of just touching I got to using my finger etc, inside me to get off (never actually orgasm till years later) I also watched the late night shows on TV, soft porn on late at night etc. This is when the shame and guilt came. I felt guilty that I was being Dirty, or it was wrong. I'm an innocent little girl but I play with myself and enjoy it at night, I figured it must be wrong. I stopped; I kinda freaked out at the thought that what I was doing was wrong, and frowned upon. My friends never talked about sex, let along masturbating (they still rarely do) my parents never gave me the sex talk, or anything of that nature I learned all I did from School, TV, Movies, and common sense (I live on a farm….babies are always being born, I put one and one together pretty fast) But because no one, I mean no one ever talks about Masturbating I figured it was wrong.
How many times in school in Sex Ed, did they ever say anything rewarding, or good about Sex? NEVER! all they did was make excuses for us not to do it, or not to even try it. And told us basic anatomy, but we never learned what makes people turn to sex, no one ever told us that a day will come when we will want to play with ourselves and touch ourselves. So when I started feeling this way it scared me, it made me nervous and worried I was doing something bad.
I stopped from playing for a little over 1 year, but it was hard, I kept feeling these urges I needed to satisfy, but I never touched. Finally I was in High School and my sexual appetite got the best of me, I couldn’t help it I started playing again. Although at this point I never really know if this was normal, it made me feel good so I kept doing it. This is what I thought “If something makes me feel so good, and doesn’t harm anyone else in anyway then why can it be so bad?” I lived by these words for years. When I finished Highschool I went to College. I stopped playing for 2 years, I never touched myself while at College, the odd weekend I would play and at this point I was able to Orgasm, holding off during the week and waiting until weekends has its benefits. But to be clear, the only reason I stopped while at school is because our dorms were very close, 2 people in a room the size of the average bathroom, no wall separating us nothing so there was no privacy. That’s the only reason. Now that I’m done college…I enjoy reading erotic stories and I masturbate probably 3-4 times a week Yes…that might be a lot but it feels so darn good, and because I have no sex life except for myself, I get the need to satisfy myself often.
So this is me….and what my past experiences have been like.
Final Words
1. To be brutally honest, I think almost everyone gets the feeling of guilt and shame when first experiencing these very confusing times as a teenager.
2. Its OK….its ok to feel guilt and shame at first, but remember….EVERYONE plays, everyone has touched themselves in one way or the other.
3. If you feel guilty for masturbating please remember these words. “If something makes me feel so good, and doesn’t harm anyone else in anyway, then why can it be so bad?” Quote me on that if you want. Doesn’t matter to me. But I believe that as long as you aren’t harming you or anyone else and what you are doing is feeling good, it is ok.
4. No one, should belittle or put you down for masturbating. I realize being a young kid, can be hard, and there is so much growing up to do. Yes, our parents can always be on our back about things, but for the most part they are trying to help. Masturbating is one of those things they DON’T NEED TO KNOW! I’m 20 years old, I have sex toys I use and bought myself, and I still live at home for now. I HAVE NEVER told anyone I masturbate, why would I? If someone asked me, I would answer honestly, I’m not ashamed, I’m not embarrassed; I got over those feelings along time ago. And so should you!
If you are someone having mixed feelings or are confused about sex, or masturbating this site has a huge benefit for you. But I want to be clear at saying….YOU DON”T HAVE TO GO AND HAVE SEX, just because your friends are doing it, or everyone is talking about it doesn’t mean you have to do anything. Stick to pleasuring yourself at home, in your bed at night. At this age you would be getting the same benefits from your own hand or object as what you would with some other girl/boy. Sex at 14 or 17 for that matter is so over rated; half the time people just do it because everyone else is. I’m a 20 year old Virgin, I went to College, I went to High School and never have had sex, and I am doing just fine. I’m normal and have a great sexual relationship with my hand, or my favourite toys. This is perfectly fine, I will find someone to sleep with but for right now I’m content the way things are, and its not that I don’t want to have sex, its just that I haven’t found the right person or the right person hasn’t found me.
Last but not least.
Masturbating is a natural thing for humans to do, he** even animals do it…not just Monkeys! There is no shame in making you feel good. Do you feel guilty or shameful for getting dressed in a nice outfit and hanging out with friends? Of Course not! It’s something we do to make ourselves feel good. I understand certain religions don’t allow masturbating, but I’m not getting into that. I don’t understand why or how that is even a religion related issue…we aren’t doing anything that will harm anyone or anything so why does it matter? (Getting off topic again) If you feel guilty for making yourself feel good, try talking to someone. Ask a close friend if they masturbate or talk to someone you can trust….school Nurse, Doctor? I wouldn’t talk to your parents….some parents frown upon their kids doing these things. For the main reason that is a sign their kids are getting older and more interested in sex, it’s not a bad thing, just something that happens.
If anyone needs someone to talk to….I’m willing to help anyone. I’m not that experienced in SEX, but I will talk to you about masturbating, and getting over these unfortunate feelings you have. I will give you the best knowledge I can. And to make things clear, I don’t work with people on a daily basis; this is just what I do on my spare time online. I actually work with animals. I don’t have any background in sexuality, or talking with people. I just seem to enjoy this, I like helping where and when I can.
-Canadian Girl
Here is a description of my experiences, and how I over came them. Alone with some other advice.
My Masturbating Life
I will admit, I went through a stage myself when I was embarrassed, and ashamed of what I was doing, I was getting these urges, normally in bed alone, or watching TV on the couch etc, if I touched myself a certain way, or rubbed up against something, I just got this feeling inside that wanted more. It took me awhile to face these urgencies and realize it was something that just happens. So I began to touch, and fondle myself, never told anyone and did it in the privacy of my room, or when I made sure I was completely alone.
I never did anything more than touching for the first little while, I was young, about 14, 13 maybe. About a year of just touching I got to using my finger etc, inside me to get off (never actually orgasm till years later) I also watched the late night shows on TV, soft porn on late at night etc. This is when the shame and guilt came. I felt guilty that I was being Dirty, or it was wrong. I'm an innocent little girl but I play with myself and enjoy it at night, I figured it must be wrong. I stopped; I kinda freaked out at the thought that what I was doing was wrong, and frowned upon. My friends never talked about sex, let along masturbating (they still rarely do) my parents never gave me the sex talk, or anything of that nature I learned all I did from School, TV, Movies, and common sense (I live on a farm….babies are always being born, I put one and one together pretty fast) But because no one, I mean no one ever talks about Masturbating I figured it was wrong.
How many times in school in Sex Ed, did they ever say anything rewarding, or good about Sex? NEVER! all they did was make excuses for us not to do it, or not to even try it. And told us basic anatomy, but we never learned what makes people turn to sex, no one ever told us that a day will come when we will want to play with ourselves and touch ourselves. So when I started feeling this way it scared me, it made me nervous and worried I was doing something bad.
I stopped from playing for a little over 1 year, but it was hard, I kept feeling these urges I needed to satisfy, but I never touched. Finally I was in High School and my sexual appetite got the best of me, I couldn’t help it I started playing again. Although at this point I never really know if this was normal, it made me feel good so I kept doing it. This is what I thought “If something makes me feel so good, and doesn’t harm anyone else in anyway then why can it be so bad?” I lived by these words for years. When I finished Highschool I went to College. I stopped playing for 2 years, I never touched myself while at College, the odd weekend I would play and at this point I was able to Orgasm, holding off during the week and waiting until weekends has its benefits. But to be clear, the only reason I stopped while at school is because our dorms were very close, 2 people in a room the size of the average bathroom, no wall separating us nothing so there was no privacy. That’s the only reason. Now that I’m done college…I enjoy reading erotic stories and I masturbate probably 3-4 times a week Yes…that might be a lot but it feels so darn good, and because I have no sex life except for myself, I get the need to satisfy myself often.
So this is me….and what my past experiences have been like.
Final Words
1. To be brutally honest, I think almost everyone gets the feeling of guilt and shame when first experiencing these very confusing times as a teenager.
2. Its OK….its ok to feel guilt and shame at first, but remember….EVERYONE plays, everyone has touched themselves in one way or the other.
3. If you feel guilty for masturbating please remember these words. “If something makes me feel so good, and doesn’t harm anyone else in anyway, then why can it be so bad?” Quote me on that if you want. Doesn’t matter to me. But I believe that as long as you aren’t harming you or anyone else and what you are doing is feeling good, it is ok.
4. No one, should belittle or put you down for masturbating. I realize being a young kid, can be hard, and there is so much growing up to do. Yes, our parents can always be on our back about things, but for the most part they are trying to help. Masturbating is one of those things they DON’T NEED TO KNOW! I’m 20 years old, I have sex toys I use and bought myself, and I still live at home for now. I HAVE NEVER told anyone I masturbate, why would I? If someone asked me, I would answer honestly, I’m not ashamed, I’m not embarrassed; I got over those feelings along time ago. And so should you!
If you are someone having mixed feelings or are confused about sex, or masturbating this site has a huge benefit for you. But I want to be clear at saying….YOU DON”T HAVE TO GO AND HAVE SEX, just because your friends are doing it, or everyone is talking about it doesn’t mean you have to do anything. Stick to pleasuring yourself at home, in your bed at night. At this age you would be getting the same benefits from your own hand or object as what you would with some other girl/boy. Sex at 14 or 17 for that matter is so over rated; half the time people just do it because everyone else is. I’m a 20 year old Virgin, I went to College, I went to High School and never have had sex, and I am doing just fine. I’m normal and have a great sexual relationship with my hand, or my favourite toys. This is perfectly fine, I will find someone to sleep with but for right now I’m content the way things are, and its not that I don’t want to have sex, its just that I haven’t found the right person or the right person hasn’t found me.
Last but not least.
Masturbating is a natural thing for humans to do, he** even animals do it…not just Monkeys! There is no shame in making you feel good. Do you feel guilty or shameful for getting dressed in a nice outfit and hanging out with friends? Of Course not! It’s something we do to make ourselves feel good. I understand certain religions don’t allow masturbating, but I’m not getting into that. I don’t understand why or how that is even a religion related issue…we aren’t doing anything that will harm anyone or anything so why does it matter? (Getting off topic again) If you feel guilty for making yourself feel good, try talking to someone. Ask a close friend if they masturbate or talk to someone you can trust….school Nurse, Doctor? I wouldn’t talk to your parents….some parents frown upon their kids doing these things. For the main reason that is a sign their kids are getting older and more interested in sex, it’s not a bad thing, just something that happens.
If anyone needs someone to talk to….I’m willing to help anyone. I’m not that experienced in SEX, but I will talk to you about masturbating, and getting over these unfortunate feelings you have. I will give you the best knowledge I can. And to make things clear, I don’t work with people on a daily basis; this is just what I do on my spare time online. I actually work with animals. I don’t have any background in sexuality, or talking with people. I just seem to enjoy this, I like helping where and when I can.
-Canadian Girl
great guide
canadiangirl
my gf is nervous about masterbation and never really has tried it
do u have any tips i could give her to feel more comfurtable about it so that she can explore her body
shes never really looked down there and thinks its abnormal to masterbate
please help
thanks
my gf is nervous about masterbation and never really has tried it
do u have any tips i could give her to feel more comfurtable about it so that she can explore her body
shes never really looked down there and thinks its abnormal to masterbate
please help
thanks
biscuit,
Have you and yourgirlfriend had sex? or have you touched her?
It bothers me that she is so nervous about her own body...how old is she? I think your gf will need to do all this alone when she starts to explore her self. She might love you being there but I think that extra set of eyes on her right now will be more of a reason to make her nervous.
Your Girlfriend should just start by touching herself, she doesn't have to stimulate anything, just touch, she is going to have to know whats down there, if she doesn't know what feels good for her, I don't expect you to make her feel the best she can. How could you when she doesn't even know herself?
Have you Mentioned this type of site to her before? maybe you guys should get a book and read about masturbating. Or if you are sexually active, start touching her(only if she wants you to) and let her follow your hands let her touch what you touch, she needs to explore and find out whats hidden behind her panties. Ask her to touch herself, not just between her legs, but everywhere, her breasts, her arms, her legs and work her way to her crotch. Make sure she is relaxed....shower? before bed?
Sorry, I don't have much advice on this matter I have never been worried about touching myself.
-Canadian Girl
Have you and yourgirlfriend had sex? or have you touched her?
It bothers me that she is so nervous about her own body...how old is she? I think your gf will need to do all this alone when she starts to explore her self. She might love you being there but I think that extra set of eyes on her right now will be more of a reason to make her nervous.
Your Girlfriend should just start by touching herself, she doesn't have to stimulate anything, just touch, she is going to have to know whats down there, if she doesn't know what feels good for her, I don't expect you to make her feel the best she can. How could you when she doesn't even know herself?
Have you Mentioned this type of site to her before? maybe you guys should get a book and read about masturbating. Or if you are sexually active, start touching her(only if she wants you to) and let her follow your hands let her touch what you touch, she needs to explore and find out whats hidden behind her panties. Ask her to touch herself, not just between her legs, but everywhere, her breasts, her arms, her legs and work her way to her crotch. Make sure she is relaxed....shower? before bed?
Sorry, I don't have much advice on this matter I have never been worried about touching myself.
-Canadian Girl
canadiangirl
im 14 years old and im having sexual relations.
i really really need help.
i need to know alot of things...
how long does it take for my hole to close back?
will my doctor tell my mom?
what can i do to get it back to normal?
please help me i really dont know what to do!!!
im 14 years old and im having sexual relations.
i really really need help.
i need to know alot of things...
how long does it take for my hole to close back?
will my doctor tell my mom?
what can i do to get it back to normal?
please help me i really dont know what to do!!!
we havent had sex yet but plan to in the future
i told her that she should take some time when she is relaxed to explore her own body so that she knows wat feels good to her
i also told her that she should look up this site if she has any more questions
thank u for the advice i think she is a litter more comfurtable about masterbation and that she'll spend time by her self to explore her own body
i told her that she should take some time when she is relaxed to explore her own body so that she knows wat feels good to her
i also told her that she should look up this site if she has any more questions
thank u for the advice i think she is a litter more comfurtable about masterbation and that she'll spend time by her self to explore her own body
Buscuit
I know our bodies can be strange and getting to know everything can be scary, but we have to know what we like and enjoy the only way we are going to do that is to touch and feel, or just look......sit in front of a mirror and look. I know several people who "play" in front of a mirror to see how things look and what they are touching etc. Just tell your GF she has to becomfortable with her self before she will ever be comfortable with someone else down there. ....but thats just me!
To the Young Person 14, having Sex.
As you probably read, I have never had sex, I'm still a virgin and I'm 20. In my honest opinion I feel no need, or desire to be having sex at 14. I feel that is just too young, and a person so young should be worrying and busy doing many other things. But the world is changing, I realize that and peer preasure is huge in todays world. Its hard for kids to do things and well..not do things. I was able to hold off, and I don't regret a thing.
But as for your question.
I'm assuming you are a girl?
how long does it take for my hole to close back? I'm assuming you are talking about your vagina? You will be fine. Its ok, you had sex and things will be fine. It might hurt when you first penetrate, but right now you will be fine, Your Vagina is like any muscle it will stretch and open for sex, but its the same as it was after the sex. But so you know, when you break your hymen, it will never return, you broke it once so now you are no longer a virgin. Don't be scared...physically I'm not a virgin either (I use toys etc.) but in my hind I'm still a virgin never having had sex with another person.
Did you want to have sex? why are you so worried now?
will my doctor tell my mom? NO. The Doctor will not tell anyone, everything told at the doctors office is in confidence. Unless I guess there are certian circumstances where someone else needs to be involved. but if you tell your Doctor you had sex, or are having sex, you can be sure that he/she will keep that information to herself.
what can i do to get it back to normal? I'm confused.....what do you want back to normal?
Please elaborate on your questions or issues you are having. I want to be able to help, maybesomeone else can help to, but we need more info.
-Canadain Girl
I know our bodies can be strange and getting to know everything can be scary, but we have to know what we like and enjoy the only way we are going to do that is to touch and feel, or just look......sit in front of a mirror and look. I know several people who "play" in front of a mirror to see how things look and what they are touching etc. Just tell your GF she has to becomfortable with her self before she will ever be comfortable with someone else down there. ....but thats just me!
To the Young Person 14, having Sex.
As you probably read, I have never had sex, I'm still a virgin and I'm 20. In my honest opinion I feel no need, or desire to be having sex at 14. I feel that is just too young, and a person so young should be worrying and busy doing many other things. But the world is changing, I realize that and peer preasure is huge in todays world. Its hard for kids to do things and well..not do things. I was able to hold off, and I don't regret a thing.
But as for your question.
I'm assuming you are a girl?
how long does it take for my hole to close back? I'm assuming you are talking about your vagina? You will be fine. Its ok, you had sex and things will be fine. It might hurt when you first penetrate, but right now you will be fine, Your Vagina is like any muscle it will stretch and open for sex, but its the same as it was after the sex. But so you know, when you break your hymen, it will never return, you broke it once so now you are no longer a virgin. Don't be scared...physically I'm not a virgin either (I use toys etc.) but in my hind I'm still a virgin never having had sex with another person.
Did you want to have sex? why are you so worried now?
will my doctor tell my mom? NO. The Doctor will not tell anyone, everything told at the doctors office is in confidence. Unless I guess there are certian circumstances where someone else needs to be involved. but if you tell your Doctor you had sex, or are having sex, you can be sure that he/she will keep that information to herself.
what can i do to get it back to normal? I'm confused.....what do you want back to normal?
Please elaborate on your questions or issues you are having. I want to be able to help, maybesomeone else can help to, but we need more info.
-Canadain Girl
CanadianGirl--GREAT thread! I will tell people to look for it if they ever have sex questions to ask.
I think that's a very healthy attitude. Did you ask your girl to look at CG's thread so that she can feel more comfortable with herself? It's been a few days since you last posted so I just wanted to know if you had. Thanks!
I think that's a very healthy attitude. Did you ask your girl to look at CG's thread so that she can feel more comfortable with herself? It's been a few days since you last posted so I just wanted to know if you had. Thanks!
Thank you,
I hope this some use to some people at least! I'm just trying to help a bit, when I can.
-Canadian Girl
I hope this some use to some people at least! I'm just trying to help a bit, when I can.
-Canadian Girl
CanadianGirl
I'm 14 and i've been wanting to lose my virginity for a while, but whenever i try with a toy it's a bit too painful. Can you help? What was your first time like? Did it hurt? What exactly did you do? Also, i've been masturbating with my clit, but i've read that if you do it too often, you'll desensitize yourself and lose any and all ability to orgasm in the future. Is this true?
Idol I Lik doing it
Awesome article Canadian Girl, I sure enjoyed it and ever word you said hit home for me also. I am an older fellow and really enjoyed you reading. Keep up the good work, and it make good reading material. Thanks!!
I am a 14 year old girl as well, but I havnt had sex. I don't finger myself because that doesn't feel good but I love to run my clit. If I do this ALOT will it hurt or sag my vagina
Thnk u sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for writing this.... this helped alot thnx :)
Yeah,does it sag ur vagina because im also 14 and wondering......