getting rid of a bondage addiction

Hello...can you email me the YouTube video link? It appears the moderator deleted it. Thanks very much! Also, what is "no-fap"?

Hell no you're not the only one! There are tons of women who love bondage. I am a woman who can't really get off to satisfy me without thinking of it. Luckily my boyfriend goes along with it though he isn't as into it as I am!

me too T_T...... normal porn doesnt give me any erection... sh*t i need help

I also get turned on to women being tied up I want to stop cause I watch it everyday and I want to stop cause I want to be a better person in life and stuff but it's hard i don't know so I tried praying to god it helping you should try instead of watching porn or women or men being tied up you should go outside and doing something fun other than that hats what I'm doing

ME too i get turned watching woman bound but now in last time get turned watching man get bound by woman or opossite.I think i get it from hospital when i was had ferible seizures and  i have 6 years and they have to tied me up to give me injection in backbone something like that because i struggle. And i belive i have that fetish because of that.

Okay, but how do you not continue to feed your fetish of viewing this garbage?

you're not alone. i don't know why i love these even though i never experienced to have sex or something. it just makes me feel excited when i watch them i don't know why.

Rather than try to change who you are, you should embrace your fantasies! You're never going to be completely satisfied with your future sex life if you don't completely love what you're doing. I'm not saying that you should go find the nearest bondage club, but now is a great time to do some research to see exactly what you are getting into. Just take it slow for now. I know exactly how you feel about all this(I'm in the opposite position); the thought of being tied up has excited me since I was a kid. I just didn't realize what was going on back then. As I grew older and got to know myself better, I also learned what bondage was. I knew that I liked it right away, and I thought I was a freak. Only pictures or videos of bondage would get me going, and I honestly though that vanilla sex just looked gross. I can't explain it, even to myself. The main thing I want to tell you is have patience, and that you're no freak. People all over the world love bondage. It is very, very possible and easy to have a long, loving relationship with this spiced up style of sex. All you need to do is take the time to find a great girl whom you believe will take the relationship seriously and you trust. Someone who will keep your preferences to herself and not go blabbing to all her friends. You have to be completely yourself and earn her trust back, as well. Bondage is all about love, compassion, and complete trust between the two of you; she must feel comfortable at all times with anything you are doing. There must be no lying or secrets between the two of you. I don't recommend telling them unless you are completely sure that you want to and you feel safe. And finally, do lots and lots of research online. Not on how to tie knots or where to get the best kinky gear, but on different styles and safety precautions. You'll hear the term "safe word" come up a lot if you're in the right place. If things go right and you find the right girl, just take things slowly and let everything work itself out. Wait to tell her about what you like in bed for a little while, but when the time is right, sit down and just talk to her about it. Tell her the whole story; save the porn experimenting unless you think she won't be offended. By then it should be easy. :) it's hard work, but it pays off, trust me. I have a wonderful boyfriend who has been more than willing to experiment with bondage with me. Have fun, and good luck!

Being into bondage is not something you can program, or choose. No more then you can choose to be gay or straight. Since a young age I have been turned on by women tied up, and used to think everybody was the same. Now I know different, and like many others who have posted, I find vanilla sex does little for me. Fortunately, I can get myself turned on by imagining what I could be doing to the beautiful girl I am with, so sex isnt a problem. Most girls will wear a blindfold for fun in bed, and get turned on by a little light bondage.....hands tied with a scarf etc. Leave the more extreme stuff in your head, unless you feel a positive response from your lady. Honesty is also important. The girl I am with loves me, and knows what turns me on, and is willing to be a part of that with me, even if it is not entirely her thing. Keeping such a large part of you hidden from your loved one will lead to porn, porn, porn, and a disinterest in having sex, which will make every potential encounter a stress-fest.

So, Advice:

Stay away from porn, and think of ways a little light bondage can be used, to get your pulse going

If you are worried about getting hard, dont masturbate for a week before hand, when you get close and are kissing, hold her by her wrists, or passivly restrain her in other ways she may not realize, like holding a handful of her hair, pushing her against a wall, make her yours, whilst giving her your love. (maybe she will realize, and will get turned on too).

It can suck so bad when you cant perform, but dont feel like c**p or be ashamed. There are ways to make this fun, and some women are into bondage too so be proud!

You're not alone about that. I don't know how it started, but that's how it started. And since then I've stuck with bondage, until now....

Get professional help. It is dangerous to your mind and will alter your perception of men and women.
Human beings are to be respected and not abused in that way. 98% of prison detainees with serious offenses against people have been addicted to that kind of porn before coming to action.
Get help, the sooner the better, and you will be a free person.

Billy, I share your preferences and can offer some advice:Avoid damaging advice from people who tell you you need to be "cured". There's nothing wrong with you that needs be cured. Your love of bound and gagged women wasn't caused by watching tie up scenes on TV - that's psycho babble. Everybody's seen them but only some (men and women) are aroused by them.

Your preference is part of your personality. Try to change it or deny it and you'll only make yourself unhappy.

My experience with bondage started exactly like your's, and in my late teens I wanted to be "normal", to be aroused by vanilla sex so I could fit in. Despite wanting to be "normal" I never changed - I'm in my 50s now and still get as much pleasure from a bound and gagged women as I ever have. Incidentally many men of my age have lost interest in their "vanilla" sex lives. I feel lucky that the site of my tied up wife makes me immediately hard.

As you get older you will learn to accept yourself and all your personality traits. The term "learning to live in your own skin" is very apt here. We are what we are and can either be happy and positive about it, or suffer through well meaning advice that tries to make everyone conform to a standard personality. THERE'S NO SUCH THING!

If you want a reason to explain our preferences, think in terms of our hunter gatherer ancestors and the strategies that would have given them a survival advantage. Some (not all) would have increased their genetic pool by "taking" women when they could. Or the women submitting to a dominant man in addition to their regular partner. Those ancient men and women were the ones who were turned on by sexual power play. That was the driver that ensured their genetic survival.

I don't in any way condone non consenting force used with sex, it's unacceptable. But understand where those desires came from and enjoy them in a consenting, trusting relationship. Sexual bondage is play acting. It only works if the girl allows herself to be tied up - she chooses to give over control in the bedroom. It's confined to the bedroom, and is quite separate from your respect for your partner as an equal.

It's quite easy to test how a girl will react by holding her arms behind her while kissing. If she doesn't pull away then next time create a reason to tie her hands in front (some mock annoyance at her). If she enjoys the play progress to hands tied behind... try a silk scarf gag...

Your girlfriends will fall into 1 of 3 categories

1. The ones who are turned on by being tied and gagged and love it as much as you.2. The ones who have no real desire to be tied but enjoy the attention they get from you when tied up. Don't underestimate this - in a trusting relationship it's nearly as good as no. 13. The ones who don't like it and wont be comfortable with bondage. Don't make a life with these girls unless you can live with sexual frustration and disappointment.

Enjoy your passion for the beautiful sight of a helplessly tied and gagged woman. It's more intense and longer lasting than vanilla sex :)

 

You are exactly me when i was your age too. Don't worry as things will work out as you get on with life. I am now 60 plus and still feel exactly the same as i did at 7. Its in your blood and never leaves.

What a pretentious, imbecilic, pseudo-'judgmental' (as if you were in any position to 'judge' or even comment on the profoundly personal subject of what individuals find erotic!) BOOB you are. Probably a desperate closet case with a dozen utterly unfulfilled fetishes and desires, which of course your pathetic little suburban 'mind' will never allow to happen. Enjoy your miserable existence, you dolt--but stop attempting to RUIN the lives of OTHERS with your stupidity and ignorance!

I can't believe I've found this 7 years later. I am the original poster, although I have long forgotten my login for this site. I'm 23 years old now. I was pretty desperate for a solution at the time of my original post. There's been some great advice given in this thread, and having been in the situation in the first place, I think it's only fair I leave some advice for anyone else that stumbles across this page in the same desperate state I was in 7 years back. First of all, ignore the idiots saying you need "curing" or that you "need to get help before it's too late". You don't. It may seem extremely hard at first, but you need to embrace how you feel, embrace your fetishes, embrace your emotions. Don't change who you are because of the way certain things are sometimes portrayed in society. About a year after I wrote my post, I met a girl. She was stunning and we got on great. We went on a few dates and things progressed, while all the time I was panicking inside. What happens when the inevitable happens and we end up in bed together. I put it off for a few weeks, constantly making excuses up for a quick get away etc. I eventually ran out of excuses and built myself up to the big moment, only to find out my worst fears come true, vanilla foreplay and messing about did nothing for me down below. I told her I'd put it down to stress. I couldn't bring myself to tell her I was into bondage. I felt extremely embarrassed. I bought Viagra alternatives online and that helped me through a few tough nights, I just didn't want normal sex. As a result the relationship fizzled out and ended. This was the turning point for me. I didn't want to go through all that again. Falling in love and then pushing her away because I couldn't face telling her what turns me on. From that point I embraced my "dirty little secret" And signed up to a bdsm dating site. I didn't jump straight in messaging every girl I could find within 20 miles from me (and there are plenty. Trust me). I messaged people on there who have had plenty of experience in bondage and asked for advice, which I found extremely valuable. I've been in a loving relationship now for the last two years. I met her online on a bdsm dating site. At the time she was 19 and I was 21. She was as much into bondage as me but had never practiced it before in a relationship. We live a normal life to anyone on the outside looking In. Which is great, because when the doors closed and the curtains are shut, we'll bring our box of tricks out. There's nothing turns me on more than seeing her tied spread eagle to the bed, gagged and blindfolded. Now if I'd taken some idiotic advice 7 years ago off the occasional nutter, I wouldn't be where I am now. I'd probably be stuck in a boring relationship, having boring sex dosed up on Viagra. Don't change who you are or how you feel. Take it to the next step and find someone you'll be happy with who will enjoy your little obsession just as much as you. Definitely join a bdsm/bondage dating website though. Don't be nervous. Be yourself and go from there. Some websites have casual get togethers in pubs/bars, there's no tying up involved. Just like minded people having a chat about things they enjoy. It's a pretty good way of meeting someone to be honest ! Bondage is nothing to be ashamed of. No matter how light or hardcore you like it. As long as you act safe, and always make sure your in a mutual agreement. This is really surreal. Answering my own question 7 years later lol. Get out there and start enjoying life.