Me and my girlfriend have been dating for several years, and when we first started dating we were able to have sex without any issues because we were doing it almost everyday, if not every other day. Fast forwarding a couple years, we are both working long jobs, and doing a number of other things. This is ending up in weeks, if not months, without any type of sexual actions. Its gotten to the point where she is not extremely tight, and this issue comes up almost every time we try to get romantic.
I try foreplay, and we spend a lot of time before actually getting to it. But it ends up in either her not being able to take the pain because its to tight, or her climaxing which makes her tighten up and very sensitive. I'm getting frustrated, not directly at her, but because I don't know how to resolve it. She's a bit on the prudent side, but we do have a toy, and getting her in the mood to try the toy is a whole different battle.
If anyone would be willing to post some suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it.
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Hope this is some help :-)
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Hi,
I understand your frustration especially if you feel your partner is a bit of a prude so it may be hard to talk about this, come up with ideas, new things to try and as you are also doing trying toy's in an attempt to relax her further. One reason for it could be stress, the hectic lifestyle and by the time she's finished working is not in the mood for sex, and as you already mentioned she needs plenty of extra foreplay to even attempt full sex, Have you tried additional lube when you attempt intercourse, or spending some extra time orally if you are both into this. Changing your position, perhaps with her on top so she can control it more allowing only her to move, so she can sit for a few moments and get used to it and stop if it becomes painful and avoid the pain and how deep it can go, plus I'm sure you wont mind just lying back relaxing for a while while she shuffles aboutXD.
It is also possible it is more of a medical issue, something like Vaginismus. This can cause muscles to involuntarily tighten up to the point where the woman will experience pain during intercourse. Sometimes, the muscles to contract so tightly that penetration is impossible. It can be something that has always been an issue, or with some women it can start when they have in the past been normally able to have sex without issue, this is quite a common condition. If it is vaginismus there is a way to treat it. This may sound backwards but in order to relax she needs to learn to tighten these muscles by herself. These are the same muscles a woman is taught to exersize after a baby (pelvic floor muscles) so she doesn't pee herself when she sneezes lol and they are really easy to do. I can write more info if you think it would help but wont go into too much detail as it may not be the cause. If she were to want to try these in short it's the same muscles she would use to stop a wee mid flow, they need to be tightened and held for a while then as she gets used to controlling them she needs to start adding a finger and work up, as above there is some explaining needed if you think it may be this but I wont write everything incase it's not helpful.
I hope this has helped you<3
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