Alright I hope most of you know what HOCD is because I got most of their symptoms, anyways. Long story short, I am a 23 year old dude and me personally I consider myself full blown straight with an open and never ending mind.... I have HOCD apparently and I et things go to my head, I like girly things, I like looking sharp, I like cute things like puppies and all of that c**p. I can identify if another dude is good looking and or handsome even if he is gay. The above things never thought that that was something that determined your sexuality or romantic interests. So then I looked at gay porn, without touching myself i got severely turned off, I look at naked chicks and without touching myself i get turned on. then eventually i introduced physical sitmulation. That is when everything broke inside of me, when i use physical stimulation while looking or imagining gay things, I can achieve both an erection and the climax though mentally i have a distaste for. Why would I do it because I let my mind run for so much i really wanted to find out if i was gay by doing this. Though I contacted LGBT and they say that this is no way by any means a way to find out if one is gay, they agree that physical stimulation is just that, if you FEAR what you are seeing or thinking that obviously you are not attracted to it. Any comments and or advice and yes I have stopped trying to "climax" to gay porn and such because that is not hard at all.....
An answer I have provided to others with this worry ...
What you WANT to be is HAPPY, right? It doesn't matter what kind of bits are on the outside of the person you want to be with. If being with someone (sexually or otherwise) makes you happy inside, makes the world seem lighter, and your heart sing when they aren't around, then THAT'S what it's all about. You are essentially "shooting yourself in the foot" and just sabotaging the short time we have on this earth to love other people by worrying whether you are one thing or the other. It TRULY doesn't matter. Try to withstand the tiny-minded and shortsighted people who don't understand what's important, and love who you need to, to make you happy. Don't pass up a chance to be with someone special because they aren't the "right" sex.
These days especially, the terms "gay", "straight", etc., are more fluid than ever. All humans are somewhere along that spectrum, but it's not set in stone, so to speak. People change and adjust their responses as they grow and mature, and that never stops over the course of your life. Changing conditions can shift where you may find yourself on the sexuality spectrum. This is absolutely normal and you shouldn't worry about it or give it any more power or meaning than it deserves at the time.Your MIND, which is the seat of your sexuality and your desires and responses to stimuli, has all kinds of secret chambers and passageways formed by early events in your life -- events, which at this point you may not even recall. But the responses to those nascent events are still in there and may surface as you go along. Don't be afraid to feel what you feel, and try not to give in to the misapprehensions of "labels". Try to accept that you feel the attractions you feel, and that is who you are being RIGHT NOW. Those things will likely change, and don't define your total sexual "self". Try also, if you can, to be kinder and more forgiving of your confusion. I assure you, we are ALL confused at one time or another; it is the nature of being human.