I ve tried to lose ma virginity twice now but each tym i try its always too painful for me so i just quit the try, and its rili frustrating for ma boyfriend and me aswell. dnt knw y but im alwys really nervous and i keep closing ma legs together not intentionally though its also reflex. And No matter how much foreplay we have before we try the moment it comes to the deal i start gettin nervous n i cnt even think about holding ma pain. i rili nid help on wat i can do to make this easiern less stressfull for me. Wat can i do to reduce the pain? Are there drugs on can take dat can make u less nrevous or make ur the area a bit numb soat least for that short while i dont feel the pain? I know this rili sounds stupid but thats just for you to know how desperate i am to get this thing done and dusted before i lose my boo. pls tell me as much as u can on how it can be less painful and easier for me. :-( n :$
For starters, you shouldn't need to worry about having sex in order to keep your boyfriend - if he is only with you for sex you are probably better off without him.
If it is painful then it is probably because your hymen is covering the entrance to your vagina. You could work up to full intercourse by having him finger you. If he can get several fingers in then his penis will fit too.
If it is painful then it is probably because your hymen is covering the entrance to your vagina. You could work up to full intercourse by having him finger you. If he can get several fingers in then his penis will fit too.
crzyfl is right on the money...you should never feel like you have to anything sexually to keep a BF or GF. It sounds to me like you are just not ready to have sex yet, which is perfectly fine and ok.
If you are going to continue to try and have sex the best advice I can give is to have you or your BF finger yourself in addition to using a good personal lubricant, I reccomend Ready Lube of course :-)
But remember that sex is something that is shared between people who truly care for one another and have respect for each other and should never be forced uopn anyone or used as a manipulation tool. Be safe and have fun but respect yourself at all times and you'll have no regrets.
Best of luck to you :-)
If you are going to continue to try and have sex the best advice I can give is to have you or your BF finger yourself in addition to using a good personal lubricant, I reccomend Ready Lube of course :-)
But remember that sex is something that is shared between people who truly care for one another and have respect for each other and should never be forced uopn anyone or used as a manipulation tool. Be safe and have fun but respect yourself at all times and you'll have no regrets.
Best of luck to you :-)
I DONT KNOW WAT TO DOjavascript:emoticon(':cry:')
if you really are that nervous then maybe youre not ready for it, dont do anything that youre not comfortable with, and if its hurts too much then have him finger you, my bf starts off with one finger then two and sometimes three, its easier to have sex after he does that
I just wanted to tell you that i am having the same exact problem...you couldnt have gotten it more perfect....every time we work up to it i try closing my legs and shake a little, and ive been married for 6 months and i still cant do it...its soooo sad and i juz dun noe wut to do....if you figure sumthin out...write back, and good luck..i noe exactly how you feel...
ok it's going to hurt at first....it might even bleed... but i fyou love and trust your husband it will be fine...don't worry. You will be fine within a day or two. And trust me i'ts not THAT bad
Guesi i know how u feel to i been married for 1 month and sill scared im on the same boat with u girl
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**edited by moderator**
Does the ready lube helps the pain a little and do put the lube on him or her ot both?
sounds like your not ready to have sex. your body and emotional/psychological states must meet certain maturity levels. it would be better for you if you just waited until you can relax and know your ready. honestly, sex is never really good as a teenager anyway. just assuming you are a teenager, if not, you should still wait. don't worry, it's not so bad, when the right person comes along it will be worth the wait.
I recently lost my virginity and I will say all these people LIE! everyone kept saying OH IT HURTS SO BAD OH MY GOD I BLED OMG I WAS IN SOOOO MUCH PAIN. My bf is not small he's pretty big and he went easy and we used KY warming gel and you know what it didn't hurt that bad.. He had to keep pushing in slowly and finally he got it in and lemme just say I am happy I did it my bf was great.. Just got to make sure they take it slow. He had to use his fingers first when he got two in thats when we decided I was ready and we did it and it was great. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought I was prepared to cry or something its uncomfy but when you get uncomfy ask him to stop and wait then ask him to go again after a few seconds. Took us three tries until he was finally fully in me now he has no problem. It really isn't that bad I promise =]
im 17 years old and i got married on 10/30/08 and its been 6 months since, and i still didnt have sex yet cuz i get nervous i want to know if ther is some kind of fainting pill or something that i can use so i dont feel any pain while my husband has sex with me,and about the finger theraphy that hurts too i want my husband to lose my virginity while im contius and dont feel any pain.please write back and give me a good advise. :-(
i have the same problem what can i do?
i cant belive there are so many women having the same problem,
i am married for more than an year now,and i am sailing in the same boat,i love n trust my husband and really want to have intercourse with him but every time we work up to it, i try closing my legs and shake a little,and fail, please advise me the best way we can do it,as i want to get pregnant.
thanks in advance.
i am married for more than an year now,and i am sailing in the same boat,i love n trust my husband and really want to have intercourse with him but every time we work up to it, i try closing my legs and shake a little,and fail, please advise me the best way we can do it,as i want to get pregnant.
thanks in advance.
Though it may sound to some like an impersonal way to lose your virginity, try having your partner enter you from behind. This way you cannot close your legs, he has more room to maneuver so he can take things slowly, and the position of his penis inside you is also more likely to stimulate your g-spot, the pleasure of which might help distract you from the pain. You can stand up and bend over a bed or peice of furniture, or, if you don't feel like you'll be able to remain standing, you can lie on the bed resting on your forearms, with a few pillows beneath your stomach to raise your pelvis so that he can kneel behind you comfortably.
Also, go ahead and take a few asprins before sex. Just the normal reccomended amount, don't go overboard. If you want something to seriously kill the pain you'd have to get into perscription drugs but no way is a doc. going to give you a perscription for this purpose, and it's an extremely bad idea to get them illegally. So just give up on the notion of there being a pill for you to do this pain-free. The asprin, though, may help a bit, the psychological reassurance of having taken SOMETHING may help you to feel less pain, and also since asprin increases circulation of the blood, your clitoris will be more sensitive and responsive - the pleasure of which, again, may help distract from the pain.
The shaking you experience is likely due to nerves, and I've got no advice for this except to realize that this probably WILL hurt, but it's not un-endurable and you're with someone you trust.
Good luck, I know it's hard. I'm going through the same thing now, and its hurt the last few times but it gets better each time. Just go slowly and accept the fact that it probably will hurt a few times - but once it's done, you can enjoy sex for the rest of your life :-)
Also, go ahead and take a few asprins before sex. Just the normal reccomended amount, don't go overboard. If you want something to seriously kill the pain you'd have to get into perscription drugs but no way is a doc. going to give you a perscription for this purpose, and it's an extremely bad idea to get them illegally. So just give up on the notion of there being a pill for you to do this pain-free. The asprin, though, may help a bit, the psychological reassurance of having taken SOMETHING may help you to feel less pain, and also since asprin increases circulation of the blood, your clitoris will be more sensitive and responsive - the pleasure of which, again, may help distract from the pain.
The shaking you experience is likely due to nerves, and I've got no advice for this except to realize that this probably WILL hurt, but it's not un-endurable and you're with someone you trust.
Good luck, I know it's hard. I'm going through the same thing now, and its hurt the last few times but it gets better each time. Just go slowly and accept the fact that it probably will hurt a few times - but once it's done, you can enjoy sex for the rest of your life :-)