I just had an abortion 4 days ago..im 21 years old and it was my first pegnacy.. the father of my child was not the man im in a relatioship with so i decided not to keep my baby because i didnt want to be alone with a child but more i didnt want to hurt the man im with and be alone with a child..so i decided to have the abortion at 12 weeks. i felt so confident with my decision and wasnt scared at all.. all the way up until i had the actual procedure. Every one says it doesnt hurt very much its just uncomfortable and at the clinique they say most women feel relief. My abortion was the worst physical pain i ever felt in my life..i felt like i was dying..i had a panic attack while i was on the table. i was so traumatized by the pain that my emotional grief from getting rid of my child didnt kick in until today. all i want is my baby back..thats all i want.. i feel empty and lost and feel like such a bad person..i feel the need to get pregnat again and have the child..my baby never did anything to me..how could i make such a decision. My anxiety has always been bad and my panic attacks are getting worse since my abortion.. i dont want to get on medication for depression or anxiety..i just want to talk to someone who has went through what i went through because ima wreck and dont want to fall back into an old life style.. please help :(
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I am so sorry for you, and think I have a little appreciation of what you are suffering, although no first-hand experience (but I can pray!). Your feelings and responses are so common!
Can I suggest you contact a trained family counselor. Where are you? America or UK? Then Focus on the Family (America) or Care for the Family (UK) are two I would recommend. They often deal with post abortion trauma.
Make a determination not to "fall back into an old life style". You can't turn the clock back, nor can you replace the aborted child. But you can find God's forgiveness and freedom from your guilt.
Hope this is a help.
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I understand exactly what you are feeling I'm 20 years old and had an abortion 4 weeks ago and my baby was 11 weeks I did it mostly because of the dad being unsupportive and such now we are broke up and I'm depressed all the time because I want my baby back. Everyone is having babies around me and I want to get pregnant right now!
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