Heya...m 19..i ws actually trying to have sex wth my bf..but we cudnt just do it...we tried many times..everytime he goes in thr i shout n push him away..today we tried it wth a condom but still we cudnt do it..coz im too tight i guess..i feel really bad coz i really wana have sex but i cant coz it hurts..it also kinda hurts when he tries to put 1 finger in thr...when i lie down i cnt mk out whr is my vagina..i read several topics..but well i cant relax myslf..uknow any way whrby i cn get him in wthout paining a single bit?
And yeh, i cant use a tampon or dildo..i dont want to use 1 either..and yes..i dnt wna try the girl on top of boy style...i need it all to happen ina normal position for a start..as i just wna get him all the way inside...i wna give him a surprise by letting him slide in mi nxt time we meet wthout shouting and in no pain..
And also, i panick..when we decide to meet up i get all scared that whats gna happen oh my its gna hurt...that i cnt even concentrate on him gvng mi wonderful touches..altho he wets mi completely down thr untill m slippery..(wets mi wth his saliva)
please help...no rude replies please
Hi Nancar,
Do you masturbate? If not, start. Do you finger yourself? If not, start, and use as many fingers as you can and keep using more. Both will help you learn to loosen up a bit. If you can't use a dildo then try something else, maybe a carrot or cucumber.
If you can't relax (or panic) then you can pretty much forget about having him just slide into you the next time. He may get you wet with oral but are you getting wet on your own? Your body, and his, should be producing lubrication.
For starters use more lube. Get something like KY and use it. Also, be sure you're having sex somewhere where you can be alone and relaxed. If you're doing this someplace you might get "caught" it will up your anxiety.
Remember, some pain IS common the first few times. He shouldn't expect to just slide in and start pounding. He needs to take his time and be gentle with you too. Is he very large? That increases the challenge of getting him in but with communication it can happen.
Good luck.
Yh his thing is large...tbh, i dont get turned on..he does evrrythng but i just dont get turned on..that is y he uses his saliva..bfr when we used to meet, he used to do the same thngs n i used to get sooo turned on ..its snc i told him i wna hv sex, i hv strtd gtng nervous whn we meet..but when im alone, i feel like meeting him really badly...but when i go to meet him, i bcm scared..wts my prob?
And umm yeh, when he tries to get in...its so painful..feels like its not gna get in...thr is no space to get in..wt shld i do? I really wna do it with him..
and if i use fingers will it bleed? Like i heard maybe many fingers will cause mi to loose my virginity....bcoz i want him to mk mi loose my viriginity...means alot to mi
Technically you will NOT lose your virginity by fingering yourself. Yes, you could tear the hymen though. You CAN still bleed after having sex the first or ANY time.
But you need to loosen things up. He's not going to get his penis in otherwise.
From your posts I can tell you are scared. Scared of pain, scared of blood, and scared of losing your virginity - and you aren't saying it but I bet you are, consciously or unconsciously, scared of getting pregnant.
All the above is NORMAL. But, if you love him remember, he's not trying to hurt you. If you aren't getting wet then you are very nervous. Why not just have some fun with him for now and not focus on having intercourse. Make out, perform oral on him and have him go down on you. Maybe, just maybe, you'll relax enough after all that to allow him to try to penetrate you.
If you still can't, see your ob/gyn. You said you can't use a tampon so maybe there is a physical problem that needs to be resolved.
Hope it helps.
Well yes, im veryyy scared...idk y it just happens..i wl try kpng that in mind! Abt fingerng and all..m just tooo scared..is thr no pill to mk mi relax n reallh turned on that i forget abt the pain n just want it to get in? Gosh! I think i need 1..
umm noo its not like the tampon cnt fit in..its just i hv nvr tried..well again, bcoz m scared to loose my vrgnty..thats y i hvnt tried..
And yes, if i put in fingers n tampons n ol that u said....wont my vagina get big? Imean wont it stretch tooo much that he feels like o my sucha loose vagina..i heard if the vagina loosens up too much, the guy dsnt feel the fun..
Your vagina can and will stretch - that's normal. Think about, a baby comes out of it. It will shrink down again, that's normal too. His penis is no where near as big as a baby.
Don't focus on the guy so much, "feel the fun.". Think about yourself too. As of now, neither of you is having any fun.
Use your fingers.
Yes there are medications but you'd also not be fully aware of what is happening/feeling.
Ohh...well..and wt r the meds..well for the frst time if i use it...wudnt mk a dfrnc..lol
See your doctor. They are prescription.
How's this for advice, you might consider getting drunk. It's cheaper.
Umm i dont drink......
thanx for all the help..will try aftr sm mnths...for now will just hv fun with him..
well i myt sound abit stupid..but i cnt figure out whr my vagina is..imean i had tried 1c fingering..but when i put in a finger, i felt smthng ws cmng in btwn..imean idk..cn u help ?
You are probably feeling your hymen.
Umm is it? It ws kind of a small ball cmng in btwn
and if i use a tampon in my periods..will the hymen break?
It is possible to break your hymen with a tampon. It may also stretch.
Duuh...m abit cnfsd now..abt wt shld i do...anyways thanx alot for your help..
will surely try to use your advc..