Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

hi. so i realy need help because my life is getting crazy i cant fonction unless someone helps me. when i was a teen i did some bad things oriented with sex...its hard for me to say it because i feel so ashamed but im gonna do it anyway...when i was a kid my cousin who was 4 at the time used to come to my house to visit. at the time i was 14 and we would always play around like some regular kids/cousins...she would jump on me at the times just playing like a regular kid and sometimes she would sit or jump on my private parts and i would feel sexaul satisfaction out of it. So after i noticed that satifaction for the first time, evertime she would come home, i would look for a way to play again so i would feel that satifaction. and to not feel guilty, i would tell myself that we were just playing and that it wouldnt harm her because she would never know because we were just playin. So after i did something similar to it. i was again playing with another one of my cousins who was maybe 7 and i was 15 or 16. we were playing in bed and again an opportunity where i could get sexual satifaction without realy hurting her presented itself and i took it. she fall asleep while we were playing and i took advantage of that and i cuddled on her  while she was asleep and got sexual satifaction out of it. i never took my penis out or anything i just kind of cuddled and just feeling pleasure out of it. And again i used the fact that she could not be hurt by it because she was asleep to not feel guilty. ive always thought i could not hurt anybody and thats why i would feel less guilty because i thought in these situations, my cousins would never hurt. But after that i saw these people on tv getting accused of sexualy molesting kids and i started thinking i was a molester too and it scared me to death. i started thinking what if my cousins realize what i was doing. and i noticed that if they did realised what had happened i would never forgive myself. i starting thinking that maybe i am sick and i just dont know it and until today it has become impossible for me to live without knowing what i have. i aslo started masterbating at a very early age which is 7 and so im got addicted to it. And like for the previous examples i think i also got out of hand while masterbating because i was thinking of family members while doing it. like sometimes i would see my aunts or sister wearing a nice dress and i would get excited and automatically turn to masterbation to relieve myself. And while i would masterbate i would try to find the best way to involve them without feeling guilty about it because i knew they were my family members and i was not suppose to do that. so i would think of my aunt having sex with her husband or think of another boy cuddling on my sister just to relieve myself and after im done i would always tell myself that i am not normal for doing that. i just cant understand why i could not tell myself that it was wrong before i did it but i think its because i was to excited to even think. So now evrytime i hear something about sexual offenders i automatically compare myself to them to see if i am one or not and its been going on for like 5 years now. I think i got to finaly understand that i have to speak about it in order to understand what i have and right now its litteraly impossible for me to talk to my family about it because i am so ashamed of it and it might bring problems to them. at the same time i am concious that i have to speak up about it so thats why i came to this site so that i could get help. so please HELP ME IDENTIFY MY PROBLEM AND UNDERSTANDING HOW I CAN LIVE WITH IT GOING FORWARD. and maybe if people who have experienced similar problems could share it with me to i think it would help me alot

Loading...

I would suggest you go see a therapist.
Reply

Loading...

You have not molested anyone - thinking about people whilst masturbating is normal, and feeling pleasure as someone touches your penis (even innocently) is normal, and isn't something you can control. However, if you were to have taken it any further, then it would have been bad.

Don't worry, but if you are TOO conscious of this, go see a therapist.
Reply

Loading...

No that is wrong. He is purposely looking for ways to get close to these people for sexual satisfaction. That is NOT okay. I was molested at a very young age by my male cousin who started off by doing the same things that were just described above.
Like the person above, I would suggest seeing a therapist. Nobody is going to look down on your for acknowledging that you may have a problem, and I think that you should be proud of yourself for speaking out about it and asking for help. I wish you all the best.
Reply

Loading...

is that any type of disorder and if so do u know what its called? cuz i havent done any of these things in years now that i am conscious that it is bad but sometimes i wonder if i will do it again if perhaps i forget myself so i kinda wanna know if it is a disorder so that i can cure it and make sure i never do it again.
Reply

Loading...

i highly recommend to see a therapist ASAP or to do some counseling with people that is associated with behaviors or a heath care provider regarding behavioral activities if it's normal or not acceptable behavior.
Reply

Loading...

therapy diffenitly,makes me wonder if you have been abused and learned those behaviors from someone else? also a true prediter wouldnt feel such guilt or shame, they would only puss further and further.kinda sounds like some kind of sexual/behavioral issues wich a good therapist can help u with.do you know much about, fetishes?thats what id worry about,its when the only way you can get gratification is thru whatever,the fact that u masterbated to different incestiouse senariose is not in its self wrong,perhabs things that are taboo are a turn on,whats important is you recognize that these urgeses could lead to unsafe behavior,i comend you for seeking help.If thats truley all that took place i wouldnt think your a sexual preditor,maybe just a deviant in need of therapy,good luck
Reply

Loading...

fetishes? what exactly is that?..thanks for the reply its realy helpful
Reply

Loading...

i understand you...
Reply

Loading...

when u are a teenage boy it can be hard to control all the sexual feelings. but! it is imperative that you do ur best to control urself. read very carefully because this is true for everyone and for the rest of your life in all situations. thoughts become ideas, and ideas become actions. when an thought jumps in your head- its ok. ur normal. the thoughts can range anywhere from nice to weird and evil- but that is normal. all kinds of thoughts pop into everyone's head. what you have to do is whenever a thought pops into ur head that you know is wrong, say NO to urself. outloud if u have to. never entertain bad thoughts. always actively change ur mind to something good. something nice. if you allow urself to think bad thoughts- u will eventually carry them out. that is how normal people turn into child molesters or rapists. you have recognized a bad pattern in yourself and its is good for u to change it. but, if u let it continue, it will get worse and worse. then- it may take weeks or months- u will notice, the bad thoughts come less and less. its easier and easier to say no! and also, i suggest going to church and prayer. it help u to forgive urself of past problems and gives u the confidence to move on and be a better person!
Reply

Loading...

Hi. This has been here awhile, don't know if you are still checking, but I do have some advice for you. I agree with some of the other posts that it is normal and understandable when you are young for things like this to get started. The fact that you are aware and concerned about the well being of your cousins shows that you are a good person and don't WANT this to get out of hand.
Here is your golden opportunity to shape your entire future. You have already started on the right path by asking for help! Good for you. Seriously. A lot of guys have just felt embarrassed and ashamed, and then, because they did not get help, they kept doing it. When you are feeling out of control like that, that's what happens.
I think you may have the early stages (or maybe not early) of a sexual addiction. This is  VERY TREATABLE. You CAN get better!
But a lot of the time, regular doctors and even regular therapists don't know what to do. You need to see a therapist who specializes in sexual addictions. They are very nice people who really know what they are doing. You will be treated with kindness and respect and I promise you, IF you go and get help, you CAN stop this, and gradually lose the desire, too. You can find other, healthy ways to be sexual.
It is very important that you STOP this behavior now. It might be very hard, and you might feel really anxious - think of it kind of like withdrawal from drugs. But every time you masturbate to an image, you reinforce your sexual attraction to that image. So that's why it's so important that you stop yourself.
How to stop? That's the hard part. Well, it will really help once you start getting some help from an expert - first - go online, google 'therapist sex addiction' in your area. Call them on the phone - when you find one that seems OK, make an appointment and go see them. Get the bus information in your area, hopefully you have buses where you live, and GO!
But how to pay, that can be a problem. If your family has good insurance, that helps, but it is very hard to find FREE counseling of any type. I hope this will work - you can ask the therapist if they can help you figure out how to pay. Or you can ask your parents to pay - You can just tell them that you are dealing with something very very stressful, you found this counselor you really want to go to, and will they pay? Tell them about your problem if you trust that they will react in a helpful way. If not, just say that you are not able to tell them at this time. Tell them that you hope to be able to tell them when you have worked it out with the help of the counselor, but you just can't yet. Then, you can decide later - with the counselor's help - if and how to tell them.
If they can't or won't pay, try this - Google Sex Addicts Anonymous, or Sexaholics Anonymous, or Support Groups for Sex Addiction. They are free support groups. They don't have a professional therapist, just other people struggling with (and overcoming!) sex addictions. You can get really good advice and help from the people there. And understanding. In fact, it might be a good idea even with the counseling.
In the meantime, every time you have a thought that you know is wrong and you want to stop, instead of just trying to 'stop', REPLACE IT with something else. Like, call a friend, or cook, or go for a walk, or anything from a list you make for yourself ahead of time that will make you DO SOMETHING that you think is healthy. If you go to one of the support groups, they say it's best to call one of the other people from there who know what you are going through, and it's better to call and talk to someone than things that keep you alone. Anyway, it's easier to do a 'do' than it is to not do a 'don't'.

It is VERY important that you take it seriously, for your own sake, as well as the sake of the other kids. You will not regret it. In fact, you will look back and be so proud of yourself for changing the direction of what could have been really bad into something good and healthy. And someday, maybe you will be the one helping out other people in your same situation.

You've already started by asking for advice. You will be OK, as long as you keep trying to do the next 'right thing' - I will pray good things for you. I wish you all the best.
Reply

Loading...

Hypocrisy is a sin, people! Hun, it is a perfectly normal thing when you are growing up, for your mind to wander like that, when I was your age I sometimes thought of that stuff too, all you need to do is take a deep breath and remind yourself that those images are not quite right. There is no need to see some therapist, or get freaked out over the past. Just calm down, YOU ARE NOT A CHILD MOLESTER! You never grabbed anyones butt, or deliberately touched them in an awkward area, therefore you are not. Don't listen these other people, they just lived sheltered lives. Go forward and don't dwell on things you can't change.
Reply

Loading...

Well, that is certainly an interesting story, you are normal, there is nothing wrong with what you did and thinking of family members sexually isn't wrong it's natural and subconscious. Sexual attraction to women, even family, comes with puberty and is uncontrollable anyone who tells you they haven't masturbated or thought of a family member sexually is a liar, that's all there is to it.  

Reply

Loading...

Hi, friend. I know how it feels to not be able to go to your family about sexual problems. A few years ago, I got really addicted to masturbation-so much so that it was taking over my life. I was stuck in this cycle of masturbation, guilt, and self-loathing; it was awful. I tried really hard to fight it on my own, but I just couldn't. Do you go to church? I know that seems like the worst place to deal with those kinds of problems, but a Youth Pastor or youth group leader of some sort can help you, and I can say from experience that he won't judge you, and will be able to hold you accountable and help you escape your problems. I finally escaped after talking to my youth group leader, she really helped by reminding me that God is so much bigger than my shame and problems. Even if you aren't religious, a youth pastor can and will still help you. I've had experiences with therapists, and I feel like all they do is judge you, and it's really awful. Christians can help because they believe that everyone struggles with sin, and that one sin is no worse than another, and therefore that you are no worse than them. The Christian doctrine also has a lot about compassion, and it will really help you for your confession to be met with love. If you don't belong to a church, here are some ways of getting in touch with a responsible Christian adult.
1. Through school. You might not know it, but most schools have a Christian club or two on campus. I you have organizations like Young Life, FOCUS (fellowship of christians in universities and schools), or FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) (you don't actually have to be an athlete), you can contact the organization's staff person for your school and ask to talk (I would recommend finding a guy, since it's much easier to talk about this kind of thing with someone of your own sex.)
2. If your school doesn't have any Christian organizations or if there are no male staff people who you can talk to, try browsing the websites of local churches. Find one with a youth pastor, and send him an email, introducing yourself and asking about setting up a meeting. I would, however, recommend that you find the right kind of church for this. Any church more focused on politics than faith (left or right) is definitely not the place. The best place would be a non-denominational church (but not a mega-church) because those are the most reliably welcoming to strangers. I'm praying for you! You can beat this.
Reply

Loading...

What you should do take responsibility for what you did and hold yourself accountable.

The emotional pain what you are experiencing is the result of a deep fear of being confronted with your deeds in anyway and probably a deep desire that it would not have happened .

You don't want to be what you did that's te coop.

Instead of whining about your deeds every day try to be hard to yourself and want it to be part of your past, of your personality, of you.

You can make start with trying to acknowledge it every day and visualizing that you are being confronted with it. 

In the beginning it will suck, but the pain, fear and axiety you feel will soften in time.

 

Greetings

 

Reply

Loading...