i did bad things oriented with sex and i now that i am concious of it i cant live with it .

I suggest you tell your family they might forgive you.

You're a pedophile, for you molested kids. How do you live with yourself? You should think about what kind of person you are and admit what you've done

iime. had success in AA.fifth step we confess are terrible past.also 9th step we make amends if possible.this takes some of the weight off.as a christian i believe god will forgive,but forgiving yourself takes t

bad comment.i knew i was an alcoholic and hated when people would tell me that.he knows what he did was wrong and needs help recovering.

People here saying he didn't do anything wrong are sick also. You let minors get in contact with you for a sexual favor and you cuddled on a 7 year old those were people who can't defend themselves and who are innocent poor babies. It's one thing to be sick andhave a fantasy for your family which is still gross but to touch a minor. A baby really? Please don't turn into a rapist. It's OK to be turned on and sleep with of age women with their consent but family and babies are a no-no! I pray you harm no one else because if you come for mines I'll skin you alive

THANK YOU EVERYONE!
This really helped me out as I'm going through very similar things as the original poster.
I teared up a little bit after I had read these helpful replies :) I think I will get over this pretty good

I read your post. I don’t think that what happened is as unusual as you think with teenagers especially in this day of earlier and earlier introduction to sex into children’s lives by the media, schools the internet and other sources.

There are a number of things that you said that are important here. You feel ashamed and embarrassed and are worried about the type of person you are. That you had these feelings and reactions is a big positive - it means you are not a narcissist or a sociopath. Those people do not have those feelings. Having those feeling means your whole.

Remember, what you did was an act of an adolescent or teenager. People reach the age of self-conciseness, self-awareness and empathy at different times and different ways. Many not until their 20s and sometimes much later. You reached it now but at the time you did the things that you hate, you hadn't.

The sexual urges of children and teenagers especially boys - once that sexual awakening begins is unbelievably powerful and probably the strongest it will ever be. The compulsion for that chemical reaction that sexual thoughts and contact create is not unlike an addict looking for a fix. On top of that you were dealing with the addiction with a still forming brain of adolescence. Grown adults have terrible issues with addictions driving them do things they would never normally do. Imagine your in this situation as a kid with no one to talk too.

You said you learned to masturbate at a very young age. Something or someone influenced you, therefore someone or something also bears part of the responsibility in this. Masturbation is sometimes a panacea to fill the emptiness of neglect, or loneliness which makes me wonder about the quality of your home life or caretakers.

As far as daydreaming of adult relatives in sexual situations. That may be pretty normal, as the brain seems to prefer the familiar for it’s daydreams. It’s a convenience that’s all. That will change as you begin to meet and date women your age.

Cut yourself some or allot of slack.

Look at it this way, you are very fortunate. It does not sound like anyone was hurt, traumatized, or even aware of what happened. But you are now aware, felt appropriately bad and learned from your mistake and I assume stopped the behavior toward your relatives.

Your way ahead of many other people. The self-awareness is a big gift to you.

You are not anything like the people you saw on the TV as you don’t seem to have any compulsion to go further or continue the behavior. Stop watching those shows.

I think you should be able to forgive yourself, be yourself and move on with your life.

May I suggest as a life time goal, pursue happiness as you should but with the addition of always roll modeling integrity, openness and honesty.

Best of luck to you.

Am also faced same problem i don't know why i do these thinks in my life i can't change my past now am in trouble